I promise to come back from the dark side soon...

I'm headed out of town on a quick business trip but I promise to come back from the dark side when I return.

Thanks for hanging in there (those of you who have anyways...)

Moving...

I'm mid-move and my world consists of piles and piles of boxes right now, one of which contains my computer. I'll be back soon!

My mysterious disappearance...

The other day at work I was talking to a client on the phone. They asked how I was doing and I responded with "been better, been worse, but getting by." After I got off the phone with them I starting thinking that, while I am getting by, I've probably never been worse. I'm definitely in a funk, which is why I haven't been writing much. I know I said I was going to open up and share some of what's been going on in my life but it turns out that I'm not quite ready. It's hard to see through the fog when your surrounded by it, if you know what I mean. I will get through what's been going on with me, and my life will be better for going through it, but I'm too enveloped in it right now to talk about it. I will share all of this chaos one day. I am moving soon (to a place I really like), and I did get a new car (which I love...a 2008 Honda CRV!), and work is actually going pretty well so there are some things that are looking up. But in the meantime, I present to you cupcakes!

A few weeks ago, Shannon from Misguided Mommy started asking me if I was going to be in town last week. I said yes, I would be around. When I asked why, she said "No reason". Of course, I didn't believe her. So I pried and pried and finally she told me she was sending me a surprise. Of course, I pried and pried to try and find out what it was. Surprises and me have a love-hate relationship. I love receiving them. I hate waiting for them. So for the next week or so, Shannon taunted me with the arrival of my surprise every chance she got. Saying 'Oh your surprise has been delayed, I am so pissed." or "are you gonna be in your office today?" and then nothing would show up.

Last Wednesday I had a morning meeting with a potential client. At about 8:30am, on my way to the meeting, I get a text message saying 'What's up' from Shannon. Hmmm...she normally doesn't send me messages. Since I was driving, and had my boss as a passenger, I actually didn't get this message, or the 3 others asking me where I was, why I wasn't answering and WTF, until I got to the potential client's office at about 9. I write back saying I was meeting with someone and then I get a message saying 'too late, surprise delayed. Can you hear my jaw dropping? For weeks I had been taunted with the arrival of my surprise, and now it was delayed!!!

I respond with 'NO, I'll be back in my office by 11'. I get this back 'Too bad, surprise delayed'. I wanted to reach through my phone and slap her. She tells me to text her when I am back at my office. So I immediately assume I will get my surprise when I get back to the office. So I meet with the potential client, drive back to the office, exchanging a few more text messages with Shannon. I finally get back to my office and send her a message saying I am there. Then I got about avoiding getting to work. I shuffle some papers on my desk, then decide I should bring the coffee cup on my desk into the break room. As I walk down the hallway to my break room, I see this box sitting on the table visable from the hallway (obviously it was unopened):


A little background, I work in a business where people ship us stuff, many times in coolers. So (thinking to myself that I wouldn't be receiving my surprise until later that day because, you know, I was told that it was delayed...) I say out loud to myself (or whoever happened to be listening) as I walk down the hallway "who shipped us something perishable in a bright pink box?" Obviously clueless to the fact that my surprise already arrived! The second I open my mouth and the remainder of my office realizes I'm even back from my meeting, they rush from the far corners of my office and surround me and pound me with questions: "Why did you order cupcakes?" "You ordered cupcakes? Can we have some?" "We thought about opening it but it had your name on it so we decided not to open it....". At the same time, one of the girls in my office has gone to find scissors. All this is happening while I am CLUELESSLY saying to myself "I didn't order cupcakes. I mean I know I have been ordering a lot of marketing supplies...did one of those companies send me something as a thank you. Did I accidentally order something I shouldn't have? I didn't order cupcakes...these can't really be cupcakes...not, the address label definitely says cupcakes and has my name on it." COMPLETELY CLUELESS I TELL YOU. Then it hits me...MY FUCKING SURPRISE FROM SHANNON! All this while one of the girls from my office is trying to tear into the box with her finger nails (I kid you not! the girls in my office are food-whores). I was surround by half a dozen people at this point. And it wasn't like they were just hanging out in the break room, they were like peering over my shoulders trying to tear into the box...the box that had cupcakes on the outside:

And this was no small bright pink box. The box is probably 8" high by 12" by 18" long. So I finally open it and me (and the food-whores drooling over my shoulders) see this:

Hmmmm...a cute little handwritten note thanking me for helping with her kids and with her generally craziness lately from Shannon. I slip off the checkerboard sleeve and open the box to find this:

A dozen, individual labeled, unique cupcakes. They were shipped frozen with ice packs with instructions to defrost for 4 hours at room temp and enjoy within 2-3 days or to refreeze them and enjoy for up to a month! The cupcakes were fucking awesome. I suspected they would be all fluff but they were made with dense flavorful moist cake and the most intense sugary frosting I've every had! And I'm pretty sure there was more icing than there was cupcake. There were flavors like Smore's with a marshmallow in the middle of the cupcake and graham cracker buttercream frosting, and raspberry chocolate and triple chocolate and oreo cream and red velvet and OMG, too many flavors to keep track of. MMMMM, they were awesome and definitely put a smile on my face for the day and the following days and I enjoyed my cupcakes (I did share a few with my co-workers because if I hadn't, it's possibly I would be hospitalized with a sugar induced coma!). These cupcakes were from SAS (Sweet and Sassy) Cupcakes. Thank you Shannon!

Who woulda though?

I was driving back to work today from my lunch break and a SaraLee truck turns in front of me while I am stopped at a light. As a sidenote, I've never seen a SaraLee delivery truck before. Anywho, I digress...I read the logo because I am bored... "Nobody Doesn't Like SaraLee". Hmmm, who woulda thought? Since the beginning of time, I always thought their motto was "Nobody Does It Like SaraLee". Seriously, who would have known?

2 out of 3 ain't bad...

On Friday I got an email from Misguided Mommy. Among other things, it said this "you said that you could maybe watch the boys some time i was wondering if tonight around 7 for like two hours you could watch em at my moms house. i want to take my parents to dinner to thank em for everything they have done for me. if not its coolio i'll figure it out!" Anyone who knows Misguided Mommy know's that she had never let anyone watch her kids except: her parents, her nanny/housekeeper (sorry I have no idea what she really is), and Brandon's teacher. Leaving her kids with anyone else is almost unheard of. I know, and yet I have always said that if she ever wanted, I could watch the kids while her and her hubby went out, or so she could take a nap or whatever. I never actually expected her to take me up on the offer (which is why I almost fell out of my chair at work when I read this...I actually had to read the email like 3 times before I realized that she actually wanted me to watch her kids).


I left work at 6:15 (I swear!) but because of traffic was running late (I swear!). (I'm always late but this time it actually wasn't my fault). I got to Shannon's mom's house and learned I would be watching the kids but also had to keep an eye on Shannon's cousin, who, well, let's say, isn't the most well behaved teenager out there. They kept saying: SHE WASN'T' ALLOWED ON THE PHONE...SHE'S A SNEAKY ONE SO KEEP AN EYE ON HER!. Ok, got it! Mind you, I signed up for babysitting, not teenager-sitting. Those are 2 entirely different things and babysitting, no matter how whiny or annoying they are, is SOOOO much easier than teenager-sitting. But I went with it...


Things went well, most of the night. Brandon and I got into a 20 minute long pillow fight while Shannon's cousin kept an eye on Codi. Codi and I watched the Food Network while Brandon played on his computer. Shannon's cousin stayed close and hung out with us until about 8:15 when she asked if she could go to bed. Ahhhh, you wouldn't that would be such a hard question to answer would you? But it was, so I sent Shannon a text message asking if it was ok...and I'm glad I did, because no, in fact it was not ok. So I told her they were on their way home and wanted her to stay up, they were bringing ice cream home and were gonna play video games when they got there. She said fine and changed into her pj's and laid on her bed in her room with the tv on. Brandon promptly joined her because (apparently) cartoons are WAY more entertaining to a 3 year old than the Food Network. Who knew? So around 8:30 I get a message from Shannon saying they are gonna stop at the grocery store and then will be home.

By this time Codi was getting a little fussy because he was getting hungry and Shannon hadn't left me with a bottle, because, well, Codi won't take a bottle (unless, as a side note, it's water which he promptly spills all over himself and splashes around in). The only thing that keeps Codi from a mini-meltdown is walking around the house with him so I start doing laps from the door of Shannon's cousin's room to check on her and Brandon, around the living room and back to their door, I would peek in and do another lap. And on one or two occasions I may have stopped to watch a few seconds of the Food Network. So I do a few more laps, checking in on them each time. On one of my laps, I turn the corner just in time to see Shannon's cousin headed to the bathroom. So I do another lap, and see her walking from the bathroom to her room (right across the hallway). So I do another lap, peek my head in the door and she's gone. Yup, you read that right, she's gone. For a split second I give her the benefit of the doubt and think she maybe went into another room to grab something, or to the kitchen and I totally missed her. But nope, she wasn't in any of the rooms. So I ask Brandon which way she went and he points down the hallway towards the garage. Again, for a split second I give her the benefit of the doubt and think maybe she's letting the dogs out. So I scream outside for her... (cricket's churping). So I go back inside and text Shannon "Your cousin is MIA". She writes me immediately then calls before I have a chance to read the message, whispering into the phone she's like "is she in my parents room? Is she in the garage? Are you kidding me? Seriously?" Then I hear her mom asking what's going on in the background and her having to tell her parents that her cousin is MIA. "We'll be home in a second". And she hangs up.

So they get home, Codi gets to eat and is all smiles. Brandon is still plastered in front of the cartoons. Shannon's parents come inside just long enough to give me a hard time about losing one of them on my first night of being able to babysit and then take off to find her. I'm not sure of the whole story, but they ended up finding her, and the house of one of her 32 year old male "friends" (did I mention she's 15?), drunk with no money.

And I will never live it down because I am now the babysitter who 'lost one of them'? But to defend myself here:

• I was asked to babysit the boys (you read her email...copied word for word). Not teenager sit.
• I was never technically told I had to watch her ever second they were gone because SHE MIGHT RUN AWAY!
• As far as I'm concerned, 2 out of 3 isn't bad.
• Especially if the 2 that made it out alive (and unharmed) were Shannon's actual kids!
• And as another important point, I am going to be a terrible mother when my kids become teenagers. I am WAY too trusting!
• Again, just to state the important part of my argument, SHANNON'S KIDS MADE IT OUT ALIVE AND UNHARMED.

Apparently Shannon's cousin had actually been planning on running away for a few days and knew that was probably her best shot because Shannon's parents were gonna be home any second, so she risked it, because really, what could I do? I had 2 small kids to watch after..I couldn't exactly chase her down the street even if I had seen/heard her leaving. And apparently she had even told her birth mother she planned on running away. And her birth mother declined to tell Shannon's parents this slightly important piece of information.

And again, SHANNON'S KID'S MADE IT OUT ALIVE AND UNHARMED.

Can I just say...

...that I feel like the clumsiest person in the world right now! In the past 2 weeks I have committed the following acts of (accidental) self-mutilation:

• Cutting my left hand middle finger with a J.K. Henkel (very nicely sharpened) knife while trying to mince garlic.
• Slammed my ring finger on my right hand between my sliding glass door and something that was apparently very sharp, quickly puncturing my fingertip and bruising my nail bed.
• Hurting my ankle in an accident that I still can't pin-point, it is swollen and hurts like a bitch.
• Stubbing my pinky tow on my left food so badly that i now have a blood blister underneath my nail bed.
• Scraping my big toe on my right foot while trying to dust (see!!!! this is what I get for trying to clean!!!).
• And...possibly the worst (or at least most painful), I just got a paper cut on one of my fingers!

Seriously, I need to take a vacation from work...and life...and just live in my big squishy bed where nothing can hurt me!

The good, the bad and the ugly...

I know I've probably lost a lot of my loyal readers out there (even Misguided Mommy has stopped harassing me about my lack of writing). When I first started this blog, I noticed I was generally writing about happy stuff, or funny stuff, or maybe just plain old boring stuff, but I rarely wrote about the bad stuff. The ugly stuff. Which should answer your question about why I haven't been writing much lately. Now trust when I say that I KNOW, in comparison to many peoples lives, the bad stuff that's been going on in mine is minor and will be a minor slice in the whole pie that will become my life when it's all said and done, but none the less, my life has been pretty sucky lately.

I've never been one to dwell on the less desirable parts of my life so I find it hard to talk about them, I always have (ask any of my friends...I don't talk, I silently contemplate and then cry myself to sleep). But I am going to start talking about the things, all of them, that have been going on lately. I'll probably bore you to tears, and you'll probably think I'm a self-loathing egomaniac who doesn't have anything better to think about but oh well, it's my life and maybe, something will ring true with one of my readers and maybe help them through a similar situation. Because trust me, some of this stuff, friend problems, money problems, and well, just life in general happens to everyone and hopefully by writing about it will I not only help myself through all of it, I might help someone else to.

So first of all, I promise I will be back this weekend. I promise. With more than just this. I promise.

Now for the really important stuff: cereal and popcorn makes a completely balanced dinner...right?

So the world hasn't collapse, but some days it just feels like it might.

Everyone has those days. Days where the fucking shit hits the fan and you just feel like crawling in bed, pulling the covers over your head and waiting for the storm to pass. Of course, anyone who, well has anything going on in their lives can't do that. But it's all started to settle, it's all starting to work itself out, like it always does. But it sure sucks when it hits the fan.

Last Monday was, well, one of those days. As a side note, all that's running through my head is that early 90's song "Just One of Those Days" by Monica.

So obviously Memphis is leaving soon, which sucks. This has been a crazy adventure that I was not at all prepare for, and I'm dealing with the aftermath of what happens when life happens to you, before you realize what's going on!

I was also still stressed out about my friend stuff going on, that I'm not gonna go into. It's not something I feel comfortable talking about it on my blog, at least not right now, but on top of those 2 things (Memphis leaving and this friend stuff), the following stuff all contributed to my insatiable desire to bury myself in my big, comfortable bed and never come out.

The day started out with some frustrating issues with my job. I'm in the process of changing positions and while I'm not gonna go into details about it, let's just leave it at it was a 'bad' work day.

My dad hasn't been feeling great for the past few weeks. After my mom mentioned his symptoms to a friend of her's, we suspected he has diabetes. This was confirmed this week and is not quite as serious as we first thought it might be. Luckily diabetes is a relatively manageable disease, but it is a dramatic life change for my dad, for my parents, for our family. It's something we will learn to life with, but finding out about just another ummm....I'm obviously not having one of my brilliant writing days because I can't think of a metaphor so we will just go with it added another match to the fire (does that work, I'm too tired to even figure out if that makes sense or not!).

I also made the mistake of finally asking my parents what the lump we had removed from my dog's paw a while ago (did I ever even mention that? My dog has a huge lump - ok, grape sized- that appeared on one of her front paws removed about a month and a half ago. The vet took forever to biopsy it and I kind of forgot about asking about what it actually was). It turns out that it was cancerous, but the vet said they removed it all and the rest of her bloodwork looked good so they weren't worried. But as I sat there playing with my pup that night I noticed another small lump on her other front paw. I fully admit that I could TOTALLY be over-reacting because I am worried it something serious, but it was like the straw that broke the camels back. After the day I had had, it was just too much. I was done, I couldn't handle anymore.

Since then, everything is working itself out, in one way or another, but thought I should share since I have been MIA for more than a week!

Do you ever feel?

Like life as you know it is collapsing in on you and there is nothing you can do about it? I'm too tired to go into it all right now but I'll explain it all soon. Sorry if I'm a little distant for the time being...

Memories...

Memphis is moving. I haven't been talking about him much because I am navigating the unknown here. I've never had a serious boyfriend, I've never been in love. And while neither of those things are true with Memphis, I've also never felt the way I do about him, had the kind of connection I have with him, with anyone else. When I first went looking for someone to break my dry spell, I never thought I would find someone that I really liked. But I did. Memphis and I have never taken things beyond a casual relationship but there is defiantly something there. It's just...well...I'm not sure, I've never been here before, but it is one hell of a lot of passion and friendship.

Back to where I started. He's moving. He's been talking about moving for close to 2 months now, seriously for about a month. Then he wavered and thought about staying around for a while but it's for sure now. In less than a month, he will be headed back across the country, back to the town he went to high school in, back to the town his brother lives in, back to the place he calls 'the closest thing I've know to home as anything'. He was honest from the start, he was a wanderer. He moves where the wind takes him, whenever it blows. It's part of what I found attractive in him, all the adventures he's had, all the places he's been and the people he knows. Of course that doesn't make it any less hard that he's leaving.

He has helped me grow as a person more than I could ever imagined someone could, in such a short period of time. He helped (unknowingly) restore a faith in me, in myself, that I had lost over the years of navigating this thing that has become my life. And I've felt things for him I've never felt for anybody else before. Ever since he first mentioned he might move, I've had this unquenchable desire to record these moments in time with him. The really cute ones, the really sweet ones, the REALLY hot ones. There is this one memory, from the other night, that was so unbelievable hot I just keep replaying it over and over in my head. But how do you do that? Can you even do that? I have this moments, these glimpses of time we've spent together that I want to hold on to. Everyone has memories, they are hidden in the recesses of our mind until we least expect them to surface, but they do. At the sight or smell of something, or upon hearing an old song, they come flooding back. I've never felt the desire to want to remember my memories before. But these moments, these moments with him, I keep playing over and over in my head, hoping they will never go away.

I'm glad I have a friend like this in my life...

Yesterday Shannon from Misguided Mommy and me were texting back and forth. The conversation originally started out with some serious stuff, but turned...umm...not so serious when I brought up a memory from when we were in high school (she had this great idea one night to put foam curlers in my hair...when we took them out in the morning I looked like I had gotten a bad perm and, if I remember correctly, might have started crying, or at least gotten really pissy, that I had to go to school with my hair like that). We were chatting about me being stressed because I am doing my own hair for a wedding this weekend that I am a bridesmaid in because I don't have the money to spend to get it done and then the conversation went something like this:

Shan's Cell: Hmmmm fri maybe we can try n do it if you want
Me: Thanks I think i am gonna screw with it tonite or tomor so if I really can't figure it out i might still be able to get it done
Me: And ummm the last time i trusted u with my hair u used foam curlers n i ended up with poodle curls
Shan's Cell: Shush butt nugget I was thinking a nice updo ass
Me: Ha i know just thought i would bring that up for my own entertainment
Shan's Cell: Y think it soooio funny
Me: U suck at texting
Shan's Cell: U suck at risotto
Me: Ugg that was harsh. But true. Sometimes the turth hurts :'C
Shan's Cell: Muahahahaha
Me: U r evil

Any of you who know Shannon know she can be ummm..."a name caller"...yeah, we'll go with that. Any chance she gets she'll call you a slut-muffin, a butt nuggett or a whore-bucket. Anyone who really knows her, knows she does this out of love. Those who don't know her many times find this offensive and she's had many an akward moment with new friends because they don't quite know how to respond to her...umm...'name calling'. And really, her talent for pulling harsh comments like 'u suck at risotto' out of no-where is uncanny, no-one else knows my dream of one day actually being able to make a good risotto except her...I try and I try...and I fail and I fail...

...just good to know I have friends in my life that I can have this sort of "mature" conversation with.

Do you have a friend lke this in your life that you have this sort of comfortable, ridiculousless with? Tell me your stories, stories like this one, that I am sure no-one except the 2 of you would really find funny?

Those spammers sure are getting creative.

I had a spam email waiting for me at work this morning titled "For: ginger Crazy Woman Goes On Dog Squeezing Rampage". Almost made me want to click on the link that said "Watch the Video". Almost.

The Simple Things in Life

Is there any better way to start your day than knowing you have a pair of shoes like this to wear?

(Side note: I actually meant to post this yesterday morning because I wore those yesterday but by the time I got to work I forgot I took the picture and sent it to myself via my blackberry and didn't remember until right now, but still felt I needed to share by beautiful shoes with you).

(Side note #2 (mainly for Shannon): NO, I did not buy ANOTHER pair of shoes. My mom bought them for me. Along with 2 other pairs of shoes, for a belated birthday shopping trip last weekend).

Always remember...

Men are like light bulbs...just keep screwing until you find one that works!

I've been watching the show "Swingtown" lately and I love it. So juicy and dirty without being actually juicy and dirty. This is just a little tidbit of knowledge I just heard on the show.

Total Chaos

The title said it all. That what the following words are going to be...total chaos (much resembling my life at the moment):

• You know you've probably worked too many hours in a week (47 hours currently, it will probably be around 57 by the end of my work week tomorrow) when getting in your car to drive home you realize that you just threw your Ipod shuffle and your FM transmitter in the dumpster outside your work. Hey, at least I realized it before it was too late. Oddly, it was the second time this afternoon I had to dig threw garbage to get something I needed.
• Damn it, I swear I had a whitty factoid for my second bullet.
• I hate training new employees. Especially when they are my 'kind-of' replacement (as she not-so-confidently-with-questioning-in-her-voice-likeshewasn'tquitesurewhatshegotherselfinto mentioned this afternoon). Did I mention (probably not) that I am changing positions at my work. I am staying with the same company, but have decided to move over into Sales and Marketing as of Sept. 1st.
• Memphis and I had a record-breaking sexercise class this past Friday. So our normal routine is to attack each other the second he walks through my door, have sex, then lounge around and chat for a while, then have sex again, then lounge around again, then if it's a good night, have sex again. Normally this whole routine lasts a few hours. This past Friday, he got to my house around 10:30pm...he left around 2:30pm...there was no talking. Well, there was talking but nothing I'm about to share here. And it never lasted long. You knew I had to through a juicy detail in my chaotic post.
• I went to Las Vegas for work on Monday. Just for the day. It was a good day. Mostly because it started out with me standing in the airport security line behind a women with a 1 1/2 foot long giant zucchini in her purse. Have you ever seen that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie gets called for jury duty and there is the guy with the briefcase who has a random piece of fruit (like a mango, and a coconut and a pineapple) in his briefcase everyday? That's what this reminded me of. Or maybe it was 5:15am and I was delirious. Or maybe it was a combination of the 2. I also got to eat at Panera (mmmmm) and eat coconut frozen yogurt for my lunch-dessert. It was a good day. Long, but good.
• I am super stressed out about some financial stuff that I'm not quite ready to talk about. And some personal stuff too. I will, but not yet. This is probably why I haven't had much to blog about.
• Before right now, I haven't done my dishes since this past Thursday (yup, 7 days!). And yes, I had dishes. Lots of them. I was almost disgusted with my own nastiness. Almost. Fear not, I have a clean kitchen finally. Well, my dishes are done anyways.
• I'm exhausted and I'm going to bed.

The cutest thing...

Last night I was at Shannon's house, and, anyone that has ever read her blog, knows how adorable her kids are. But I just can't get over when little kids do super cute things so I feel I must share this moment with you all.

Last night when I got to her house, I went to set my purse on some tall bar stool/chair things they have. Brandon was walking by so I said Hi and he ran over, jumped up on the bar stools and said hi, and grabbed his gum, which was sitting up on the counter. Shannon and I were talking and Brandon pulls out 2 pieces of gum and hand's me one. When I didn't immediately notice he was sharing with me, he said "Ginger...HI!" and then "Here, want gum?"...so cute.

A glimpse into my mind...

At my work, on occasion, we have to use our local competitor because they offer a few services that we do not, that unfortunately we have not started offering yet. So yesterday I had to go to their office to ... umm...'request some services" (I'm trying to be general, as to not give away too much about where I work, although I'm sure I've probably already mentioned details, but oh well...). I don't like our competitor. For the obvious reasons that they are, well, my company's primary local competition. But mainly because the people that work for this company suck-ass. They are rude, they are inconsiderate and they are just plain assholes. And I realize that I work for the competition, but to them, I should be another customer. I bring them work, we pay them money. I am a customer. But they treat me like shit. Which isn't surprising, because they treat all of the customers this way. Which (to get in a little bragging) is why many of their customers start using us. Anywho...I went to their office and when I turned in to their driveway, smack dab in the middle of their driveway, was a road-kill skunk. Their entire parking area smelled skunkish and they had roadkill in their driveway!

Now the point of my post. I found this incredibly satisfying. I hate them, and I LOVED the fact that they had a nasty road-kill skunk stinking up their parking lot and that even though it was 4 in the afternoon, no-one had take the effort to remove it, or even push it to the side. So every one of their customers had to drive over it, and smell it, while visiting their office. So gross...but so satisfying. I never said I wasn't a little sick and twisted.

The Bachelorette Party

This past weekend we threw a bachelorette party for one of my best friends who is getting married on August. The theme was (well at least unofficially) "Burlesque Gone Haywire". We had the best intentions of making a whole burlesque theme, and of buying a corset for my friend to wear all night, and of wearing pink and black and white (the pink idea came from a burlesque cabaret/restaurant called the Pink Door, that we all ate at when we were visiting her in Seattle once). Anywho, parts of our theme worked out great, others...not so much. Either way, we had a blast. Some pics to highlight the evening...

Leading the woman of the hour throw a casino blindfolded, we found out, not the easiest thing...but entertaining! Can you think of anything better than being greeted by a giant plastic pecker? I sure can't! And by the way, apparently my digital camera sucks ass and takes blurry pictures half the time.

Some of the girls..

First we went to dinner and on our way back to our room to change for Round 2 of the evening we came across this guy who (quite on his own accord) volunteered to be our stripper for the evening. Which was good because budget didn't quite allow us to spend $200 for an hour with a stripper...I'm sorry, and maybe this is just me, but if I'm spending $200.00 for an hour with a half naked man, I better get more out of the situation that a little looky-looky. But like I said, that's just me.

Getting the party girl dressed for Round 2...like I said, we were going for a burlesque them (gone haywire) so she had to wear a corset for the evening. As a side note, seriously considering buying one because HELLO..LOOK AT THE GIRLS! I even had a hard time not checking out her boobs all night.

The group (minus one who is taking the picture)...Notice me, there in the middle, looking quite sexy and sophisticated in my little jacket..yeah, I know, you already noticed, didn't you?

Seriously, they are such dorks. And yes, those are little silver penises on her head.

In situations like this, I find it's best not to ask questions. You just find our later on you didn't want to know the answer..

Umm, again, best not to ask. BUUUUTTTT, you do need to take note..see that girl in the black..this may be the only photographic evidence of her ever dancing. She was such a good sport (although after a few drinks the fact that she hates to dance became somewhat irrelevant).

Desperate situations call for desperate measures...when you can't afford a stripper, give the woman of the hour a lap dance yourself. Or let one of the other girls do it!

Yeah, I have no idea...but they were fun, they were Canadians. From my experience, Canadians are always a good time, and they know how to drink. And yes he is swiping a credit card (and American Express which is even funnier because they are Canadian..ok, maybe only I found that funny) through her cleavage.
Holy aftermath (aka the next morning)

And, remember how I said there's nothing better than being greeted with a giant plastic pecker...well try waking up to one. My view from the floor where I spend the evening.

So there it is, what I spent last Saturday night (well into Sunday morning...) doing.

Help me out here.

Ok, so when your own blog starts writing you letters telling you that you don't blog often enough, it's probably a sign you need to blog more often.


I promise I'll have an actual post (not just an "I'm sorry, I'm a horrible blogger, post). But now I am too tired to write anything except this.


I get it. I haven't been a good blogger. It's not because stuff isn't going on. Actually there are a lot things going on. But not stuff that I necessarily feel comfortable talking about on my blog. So because my mind has been tied up elsewhere, I've been a loss of what else to blog about.


Soooooo....here we go. From my dedicated readers who keep checking back here day after day, with no new, inspirational words from me (because I know how inspiration my writing is!), I ask you for some ideas. My plan is to give my blog a little more structure, at least for a little while, until I get my writin' mojo back. So here is my challenge for you all:


I want ideas from you all for ideas for me to write about. I may not actually write about all the things suggested, but feel free to suggest anything. Who knows what I might share with you if the right questions are asked. So ask away my loyal readers...ask away..

Dear Ginger

I don't understand. You used to visit so often. But now, it seems like I am nothing more then an after thought to you. You toss me a few meaningless words and then leave me here, alone, in the dark for days or weeks at a time. You only visit me when you need me. This relationship is so one sided. I feel like you never think about my feelings. I have feelings to though, and at night when you don't come to visit I cry.

I realize it's hard to find time to visit me, when your always busy with Lovermuffin. While I do realize sex is important I'm sad that you no longer call upon me to discuss the events of your life. I had to find out you were still seeing Lovermuffin from Shannon, and even she waited this long to tell me. I even had to find out from Shannon what you did on your birthday. I had to hear it from her how you had two deserts and copious amount so food. I had to hear from her about going to Target and buying more shoes. YOU CAN BUY MORE SHOES BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN TALK TO ME.

My feelings are hurt Ginger. I would say we need a break but I think you already decided that. Maybe your just not into me that more. Did I gain weight? Am I not pretty enough anymore? Do I need a spiffy new color or design to make you miss me?

I miss you Ginger.

Sincerely,
Your blog

It's my birthday...

...and I don't have to blog if I don't want to.

Off having fun. Be back soon.

The most painful moment of my life.

I have now discovered the most painful thing that could ever possibly happen...

Think you know what it is...

Seriously, you can't EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE the pain I am feeling right now...


Because I am a jackass and somehow managed to get a paper cut RIGHT where my fingernail meets my finger, you know, that little crevice where the nail meets the skin...imagine having a paper cut ALL the way across that location. It fucking hurts!

Do you think I can file for workman's comp since it happened at work? (for those of you on a high horse about the abuse of workman's comp...I AM JUST KIDDING!).

Obviously, it is the day before a 3 day weekend.

I mean really, that last post? WoW, that's what I'm doing right now! That is between writing out my list of stuff I need for my camping trip, gossiping with co-workers and snacking in the break room. I think I answered the phone once this morning...maybe, it rang once, I can't quite remember if I answered it or someone else did?

On this note, I am leaving to go camping this afternoon so stop readying my blog and, as the Simpson's said (paraphrased of course because I don't remember the exact quote), "Go enjoy your country's independence by blowing up a small part of it!"

Do you ever?

Run your hand across your chin and feel one of those stiff little black chin hairs? And then, for the rest of the day, you can't force yourself not to keep touching it? Because all you want to do it pluck it, but you are at work, with no tweezers...and your car tweezers have gone MIA...so you just keep touching it to make sure it's still there?

Just making sure I'm not the only one...

Since when did Corporate America get to decide if I should or shouldn't be eating those donuts?

The other day on my way to work I was (for once) running a little early, and I was hungry, so instead of going and getting something healthy to eat, I decided to go get Krispy Kreme donuts for me for my work. I pull up to my local Krispy Kreme and pull in to the drive through. I pull up to the speaker to place my order and look up to notice the menu is missing. Well shit! How am I going to order if I don't know what to order? I sit there waiting for the magical donut fairy on the other end to ask me what I want. As I'm sitting there, I start thinking to myself: Mmmm, those buttery yummy donuts will taste so good. I wonder how many I can eat before I get to work. I wonder if I should even bother bringing any into my work. But I can't buy a dozen for myself. Well, ok, I COULD. But I shouldn't. Gosh, this is taking a long time. They must be busy. I wonder where their menu is. It's probably got vandalized and is out getting repaired or something. Mmmm, donuts. Geesh, ok, this really is taking a long time." Finally I speak up, "Hello? Hello?" Ugg, by this point I am no longer early so I decide that I don't really need the donuts and pull forward to drive out of the drive-thru.

And it's also not until I pull up and drive past the pick-up window that I see this sign: " Sorry for the inconvenience but this Krispy Kreme location has closed." Hmmm, I guess the missing menu makes a little more sense now. All in all, I probably sat there for like 5 minutes. And when I mentioned this episode to some friends, they were like, 'duh, it's been closed for like a month!"

I wonder how many other people have done this? I wonder if they ever considered putting the stupid fucking sign on the speaker where you place your order?

Ok, seriously, just one more thing

Do you ever learn something, that isn't really THAT big of a deal, or really important in any way whatsoever, but it just kind of blows your mind and you can't stop going 'OMG, I can't believe that"?

I'm not gonna reveal what it is (to drive you all a little crazy thinking about what it MIGHT be), but this happened to me last night. And I'll give you a small hint: it's amazing how small of a world it is, and you never know who is gonna end up knowing who.

Oh, by the way...

Shit, my 26th birthday is in 10 days. Totally came out of nowhere!

Kind of a big thing. Maybe. I think. I don't know. I am pretty sure it is though.

There has been an interesting development on the Memphis front. So I realize I don't talk about him as much as ya'll would like, but it's because I'm not entirely sure what to talk about. But I'll try. This is all new to me, and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it or if I really even need (or want) to do anything more than I am.

Memphis and I see each other 1-2 times a week. We really don't do anything except...well...each other. And talk. We talk a lot. We have dinner sometimes, we don't others. Not exactly what I would call a relationship, but on that note, it's actually the exact kind of relationship I want right now. To spend the time I want/can with someone who excites me and entices me, physically and mentally. I don't want the humdrum of every day life with someone, I don't want to wash his clothes, or deal with his bad moods. I have enough dirty laundry on my own! At least not yet. Up until very recently I wasn't even sure I wanted him to sleep over. I've always slept by myself, and on the few occasions I sleep with someone else in the same room, let alone the same bed, I don't sleep well. But a few weeks ago, he came over on a Saturday night. This is the only night that we CAN really spend together because Sunday morning is the only morning that neither of us has to work (he works Tues-Sat, I work Mon-Fri). Back on track here, he came over a few weeks ago on a Saturday night. We did what we do (each other) and we spent a few hours talking and cuddling, then, well, we did what we do again, and then we laid there in each other's arms (ahhhh, I know) and fell asleep. A little while later I woke up randomly and was sneaking out of bed to turn off some lights I had left on, assuming that maybe he would just stay the night, but when I got back in bed he woke up and said he had to go. This has honestly been the only night I was disappointed he left. I was really looking forward to him sleeping over. Not really sure why, like I said, I don't sleep all that well when someone else is in my bed, but something about taking that next step of staying the whole night was something that would have been a perfect ending to that night. But nope, he went home. Which was fine, because it meant I actually got a decent nights sleep.

Fast forward to this weekend. We haven't seen each other all that much because I've been on vacation, he's been spending his weekends out of town kayaking and his weeks staying in the town he works in (he works about 45 minutes from where we live and to save money on gas from commuting, he's been crashing at his dad's house during the weeks). Come Saturday, we hadn't talked (texted...is really mostly all we do when we are apart) since the prior Sunday. It was partially because I was busy, and partially because I was half seeing if he would touch bases with me, since it is almost always me getting in touch with him to hang out. Come Saturday night I went to the Rodeo with a friend and shortly after getting there I got a text message from him asking if I was busy...I wrote back saying I was but I might be up for a late night booty call if he was. He was...so around midnight he came over. We stayed up until about 3am, when we drifted off to sleep. Around 5 I woke up and he was still there. I snuck out of bed to close the blinds and totally expected him to roll over and say he had to go, but instead when I crawled back in bed he just wrapped his arms around me, mumbled something about getting to play with a certain part of my anatomy that he likes very much all morning and then go boating at the kayak park, then drifted off to sleep again. I honestly laid there for probably 45 minutes thinking to myself "he's not really gonna stay the night, is he? He's gonna really wake up any moment and leave...any minute...nope, not yet...maybe I should go to sleep?"I finally fell back asleep for a few hours, rolled over, woke him up for a little morning delite, then let him go play with his kayaks for the rest of the day while I went back to sleep. So there it is, he stayed the night. It's kind of a big thing. But I'm not really sure what exactly it means. And I'm not about to ask him, because I kind of like things exactly as they are.

Letting Dallas redeem himself...just a little bit

I haven't written about the going on's of my bedroom too much lately. Obviously, being out of town as much as I have been, things have been a little slower than normal in that department. I am still seeing Memphis. Quite a bit. Well, not that much, but 1-2 times a week. I like him. A lot. But we are keeping things as is right now, casual and fun. Because that works for us. For now. But we will leave that for a whole 'nother post when I am ready to dive into that.

On that note, I have still been seeing (or trying to see) Dallas once in a while. I actually haven't seen him since the night this happened. But we've been playing text-tag for a few weeks...The reality that is my life is that I didn't date or ANYTHING for a very long time. And I'm not ready to settle down with someone, I want to enjoy, and explore, different people. Everyone has their good (and their bad) and I kind of hope I can learn something about myself from the different people in my life (this includes these guys, and everyone else in my life!). Sooo, before I left for vacation Dallas and I were going to hang out one night. He ended up never showing up, which was fine because honestly I was too busy to see him, and didn't actually notice he was 'late' until like 2 hours after he was supposed to show up. So I sent him a text message giving him a hard time about it and it turns out he passed out (asleep) after work. Anywho, we were going to hang out on Sunday night when he got back from camping and I sent him a message about an hour before he was going to come over to see if he could come a little later. He wrote back saying "4sure, why what's up?"

Me: not much, just had to do something today and took me longer than I thought
Him: You sure you want to hang out tonight?
Me: Yeah, why, do you?
Him: Truthfully I am pretty tired but I don't want to flake on you again.
Me: You know what, no worries, lets do it another night
Him: Ok, you sure?
Me: Yeah, I kind of in a shitty mood anyways and not really up for it.

So, I didn't really mention it, but I was in fact in a very shitty mood. I'm not going to go into details because I am over it now, but I was pissed off about something on Sunday and really just wanted to mope around and be pissy.

Then my phone rang. It was Dallas calling. When I answered he was like "Are you sure you're ok? What's going on?" So I tried to skate around it and not really tell him what was going on. But he wasn't gonna have any of that. He kept probing until I dished about what I was in a pissy mood about. And it was kind of nice. I've never been in a relationship, not that I am in anyway in a relationship with him, where you just talk about your shit, the good, bad and ugly. And it was kind of nice. And even though Dallas is a Bush loving red-neck, he really is a decent guy. So I just thought I would give him a chance to redeem himself a little bit after my last post about him.

So I realize I have been MIA lately...

My life has been ridiculous lately. I have been out of town so much, and going through so many changes that I honestly just haven't had time to process everything. Everything has been great, and I am looking forward to a lot of the changes, but it has been exhausting and left me, honestly, speechless most nights. Anywho, hopefully that is a slightly better excuse than "I know I suck at writing on my blog"!

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He he

MySpace Countdown Clocks

Going on vacation...

Need I say more?

What's your media?

Singers have their lyrics and melodies, painters have their colors and shadows, writers have their descriptive phrases and idioms. Even if you aren't one of the few who have officially declared themselves a writer, or a singer, or an artist, we still all have a media in which we feel most comfortable expressing ourselves. Some people are great speakers, they can force a room into silence, or laughter, or tears just by putting together a string of words. They can evoke great sadness, or happiness, just by the tone of their voice. Other's express themselves through the various art forms: photography, painting, sculpture. Creating physical manifestations of their emotions, of their stories, of their lives. Others write. I write. I don't pretend to be a great writer, or even a good one for that matter. I have my moments, we all do in whatever media we choose to express ourselves. But it doesn't matter if I'm not a great writer, or even a good one most of the time. Because I write for myself. I write to express my ideas, to get them out of my head and to create something from those vague ideas floating around in the matterless void known as my brain. Even if I'm just creating a string of letters that mean nothing to anyone but me, they are still my words, my thoughts, my feelings and ideas. I've never been a talker. Ask anyone who knows me, especially those who know me best. I talk, but I've never been a big talker. I talk when I have something to say, otherwise I tend to think things through, work out situations, create my dreams and destroy my fears, within the safety of my inner thoughts. Few know it, but I've written for years. Again, nothing important, nothing noteworthy, but I wrote poems, I wrote stories, I just wrote. Most if it I didn't save, because I got it out and found I didn't need it anymore. Some I saved; some I held onto because I still found it important to my life, my world, my desires and my emotions. I still write (I know, I know, not as much as I should, or could) thanks to this crazy modern invention called a blog. I love it. Because, somewhat ironically, as much as I love to write, I hate actually having to write. I hated sitting down with a journal and putting the pen to the paper. I would write a few sentences and then my thoughts would get so far ahead of the words flowing out on my paper that I would give up. Leaving my words trailing off into nothingness. Trailing off into the thoughts that remained within. But, typing is a whole other story. For once I can actually 'write' and think at almost the same pace.

It was a hard thing for me to start sharing the details of my life on my blog. Not because I was embarrassed, or ashamed, or anything. It was because I didn't share the details of my life with anyone like I did on the blog. Daily updates on my thoughts or my happenings were never a part of my daily life. Most my friends probably know more about the daily happenings of my life now that they read my blog than they every have before. The reason for this isn't because I wanted to keep those details for them, but because I felt more comfortable sharing them, expressing them through the written word, than through the spoken one. I'm not sure why, it's just how I work. When I started this whole dating adventure (that really started months ago with my attempt to ask out the Dog Park Guy) I didn't discuss this with anyone really, except Shannon, and that's only because she had read my blog and then would quiz me about it in person. But I'm sure if you ask her, she would say I was sparse with the details at first. I still am. I actually seriously considered not writing about any of my man-ventures because I realised at that time, I hadn't actually told any of my friends about it. How could I write about something so dramatic, so important, in my life when I couldn't even tell my friends about it? Because I felt comfortable doing it. The words just flowed. The words never seem to flow when I'm talking; I always feel awkward and half of the time on the verge of tears because my mind is working overtime, trying to express itself and process what it's taking in.

I've had a few people, friends, point out lately that I won't tell them about things in person but I'll write about them on my blog. I was driving home from a weekend with friends on Saturday and Memphis and I were exchanging dirty text messages back and forth. For close to an hour. My friends knew who I was texting with. They knew the just of the messages. And they wanted the details. But I just couldn't do it. I couldn't look them straight in the eye and tell them I just got a text message telling me that he want to bend me over a coffee table and pull my hair. But see, I have no problem telling you now. When I was worried I was getting fired, I was scared shitless of having to meet with my boss until Shannon recommended that maybe I email her beforehand to let her know what I was thinking. It was the best thing I ever did. I got a chance to lay my thoughts out and re-read them and make sure that I was saying what I actually meant to say. That being said, now that people have mentioned that I have a hard time telling them things in person, but not on my blog or in an email, I feel as though I am trapped. I enjoy writing. I enjoy sharing. But now I feel that if I do that, some people in my life will think that I'm NOT sharing with them but sharing with complete strangers. I feel like I am going to hurt their feelings because I want to share things in a media I feel comfortable working with, but not necessarily in the media they want me to share in. I'm not entirely sure where this post was supposed to go.

My rant about birth control...

I am out of town yet again. Right before I left town I stopped by Longs to pick up the refill for my birth control that I called in over the weekend. Only to find out that apparently I can't get a refill on my prescription until June 5th. Because apparently I refilled my last one on May 16 and APPARENTLY I have to have 21 days between my refills. Which for those of you who are familiar with birth control, means that I can't actually refill my birth control until I am in my inactive week. Which fucking sucks in my opinion. I am sorry, but I am a busy person and if you really expect me to remember to refill my prescription in a short 7 day period, you are fucking insane. Especially when you are closed on Sundays. So that really means I only have 6 days. And considering I have only been in town on the weekends lately that means I have 1 day to remember to refill my birth control this month. You all fucking suck ass. So this means that in the 2 days I am back in town I have to remember to go pick up my fucking birth control. But I better not forget until Sunday, because they are closed. On this note, when I was in college I used to get my birth control from our campus pharmacy and they would let us refill it 90 days at time. Which made sense because you know what college kid can remember to refill something every month. And really, it's so much better for the environment (I have to try some other sort of logic because apparently 'I can't remember' isn't a good enough excuse). Instead of 12 trips to the pharmacy, if I could refill my prescription every 90 days, that would mean only 4 trips a year...so much better for the environment! And I realize that it may be as simple as calling my doctor, or calling my insurance to ask them to do that, it still is ridiculous that they will sell me as many bottles of vodka as I want, but I can't purchase 3 months worth of birth control at a time!

On this note, a few days ago I needed to stock up on condoms. Because, as you all know, I've been getting some action lately. Because I didn't want to buy condoms from my normal grocery store (because the kind of geeky-cute checker who I have a little crush on was working), I went to another grocery store down the street from my house to buy them. It was probably about 6pm and I went into buy condoms. I also went to this store because they have those nifty self-checker things so I wouldn't even have to face the checker buying only condoms. However...ugg, I came to find out that this particular store stocks their condoms in their pharmacy, which APPARENTLY is only open until 4pm. Seriously? The first issue that is wrong with this whole thing is that if a horny teenager makes the right decision and decides to go buy condoms, but lo and behold it's 4:15 in the afternoon, they are shit out of luck because the condoms are locked up behind the gates with all of the drugs (i.e the pharmacy) which is just poor planning on someone's part in my head. The second is that who the fuck shops before 4pm in the afternoon? Housewives and old people...not exactly the biggest proportion of condom purchaser's are they? It's probably not too far out of the ballpark to say that the normal average condom purchaser probably works during the day and might possibly do their grocery shopping AFTER they get off work, is it? I mean, even those horny teenagers are in school until at least 2 or 3, right? This pisses me off. I mean if they are afraid they are going to get stolen, shouldn't they at least consider that at least they are possibly preventing the spread of disease and/or unwanted pregnancies, instead of...well...leaving those chocolate bars out in the open to be stolen...they are going to get a bunch of overweight, stressed out people...oh wait, that's kind of what most of us are anyways. See, blame it on the grocery stores who lock up the condoms after 4pm!!!

ALSO....I happen to take notice while I was trying to reach between the bars and grab some condoms trying to figure out if I should call someone and then realized that I would the girl who called someone to open the gates to get her some condoms decide what other store I should go to buy condoms that they also keep the pregnancy tests back behind the gates as well. And not just behind the gates, but behind the actual counter so you have to talk to a pharmacist to get them. Now, I wasn't looking for a pregnancy test but I thought about this for a moment. There are really only 2 reasons you would be looking for a pregnancy test, (1) you are excited at the possibility of being pregnant or (2) you are seriously hoping you ARE NOT pregnant. In the first case, I suppose you probably wouldn't mind talking to a pharmacist to get the pregnancy test. Or you might just want to get the test and get the fuck home to pee on a stick and find out if you are. But either way, if you think you are pregnant, and you are excited about it, I would imagine you would probably drive to the store as soon as you thought it was a possibility to buy a test and would super duper pissed off if they were locked up behind bars because it was 4:05pm. In the other case, where you are hoping you ARE NOT pregnant, the last thing you probably want to do is ASK something for a pregnancy test. The last thing you want is the smiling face of a pharmacy employee wishing you good luck when they hand over a pregnancy test (when all your thinking is "why don't you shove this box up your &$?*! I better not be!"). And on that note, if they are closed and you need to find out, how pissed off would you be that after stressing in your head all day at work, you show up at the store and they are locked up behind bars?

So I suppose I really didn't have a point with this post except to rant, but seriously, doesn't this just annoy any of you just a little bit? I mean, in this day and age, even though I realize there are those people out there that don't support birth control, we live during a time period and have the technology, where we, as intelligent people, have the choice to have sex for pleasure, and not risk having children (thus adding to an already overpopulated world) and not risk spreading disease (in a world already plague with so many other diseases) and yet our choice is not supported by a large chain grocery store. I guess it's all about choice, right? Which just means that I will probably choose in the future to shop somewhere else...

So I have a problem...

I got an email from one of the girls at my work saying she is starting a book club with some other girls at my work and some of the wives of the guys at my work. I really like all these people, and I love reading, but I have desire to sit around and talk about a book with them. How do I get out of this? Do I just not respond to the email or do I say I'm not really interested? I'm not in the office so I don't have to deal with it for a few days but they are eventually gonna ask me about it and I have no idea what to do.

A little glimpse into my life.

I have been making an effort to get a little more exercise and both for my sake and for the mental and physical health of my dog, I've been going on little hikes to replace our morning walks at least one day during the weekend. Here's a few pictures of our hike last weekend..(that you know, I forgot to post last weekend...).

My dog, probably thinking to herself "Mom, what the F are we doing? We are supposed to be walking...NOT driving!"

However, her thoughts were soon taken away from wondering what I had in mind, to staring down her arch enemy...the cat (sorry for the blurry pic).

Apparently, her arch enemies were out in full force this morning here's another one...

Sierra...on high alert due to the recent sightings of THE CAT'S

Galena Creek

An emerging Snow Plant...this one was just breaking through but they can grow to be 12-20" high on only last for a month or so during the early spring.
What else would my dog when confronted with water?

Umm...Trees

Sierra, doing what dogs do...sniff, sniff, sniff

A picture of me for good measure.

My dog...mid-graze, she likes to graze on fresh grass on occasion...just for fun, she's always done it and this is one of her favorite grazing spots.

Ummm, more trees...

So there we go, a little glimpse into what my Sunday morning's have consisted of lately.

Does this mean I can officially start celebrating my birthday now?

This afternoon I was out walking my dog and decided to check my mailbox (I live in a condo complex and we have a mega-mailbox structure that I check, maybe once a week, I am really bad about check my mail!). Anywho, I had a key waiting for me which meant that I had some sort of package. I open the 'package' mailbox and see a box from Amazon.com sitting there. I stare at it slightly confused for a while wondering to myself if I blacked out one night and ordered stuff off of Amazon.com again. So I take the box and continue on my way back to my condo, still wondering what is in this mysterious Amazon.com box. "Did I really order something and not remember it?" I think to myself the whole way home.

I finally get back to my condo and tear open the box and in it is this...

It's part, yes I said part, of my birthday present from Misguided Mommy. With a note on the shipping list saying "Happy Birthday! I saw this book and loved it. Hope you love it." Have a mentioned before that I read cookbooks like I read novels? From cover to cover! And, well, truth be told some of them get me as excited as a good porno, but you know, in a totally different way. Maybe.

But my real question is this: Does this mean I can officially start celebrating my birthday? You ask me when my birthday is...July 12. 48 days before my birthday isn't too early to start celebrating is it?

Ummm, and some days I wonder why I can't lose weight.

So it just dawned on my that I booked my entire Sunday around eating. This is what my day planner would look like. That is if I had a day planner. Oh wait, I do have one. So let me re-phase...This is what my day planner would look like IF I actually used it.

10:00am: Breakfast with boss, well not really boss anymore, more friend/owner of company I work for, someone else is officially my boss. Either way, breakfast and coffee with boss.

12:00pm: BBQ (in the rain?) at Shannon's house. Must remember: make potato salad. Must remember: do not eat potato salad BEFORE BBQ.

6:00pm: Dinner at The Melting Pot! Yeah, fondue! Yeah! I am so excited! This is really dinner for my mom's b-day but because she is easily influenced I convinced her that SHE wanted to go there. I am so excited I might pee my pants. But that would be embarrassing. So if I did, I wouldn't admit it in my blog. But I wouldn't do that. Seriously. Damn, not you all think I pee my pants.

10:00pm: Memphis is coming over. So technically IIIIIIII might not be eating anything but...

Does anybody else find this kind of cute?

You all know Memphis is southern. And he speaks with a great southern accent. And the best part is that he even text messages with a southern accent.

I got this message last night while Shannon and I were having dinner:

Wanna get nekid?

The first time he did it, I half way made fun of him because he couldn't spell but then threw in how it was kind of cute that he even wrote with a southern accent. I think he was slightly impressed I picked up on what he was trying to do instead of just thinking he was a dumb southerner.

Hello, my name is Ginger...

...And I am a drunken texter. That's right, when I drink, I have a tendency to send inappropriate text messages to people in the middle of the night. Some people are drunk dialers...I am a drunk texter. I'm up and drunk and having a good time, shouldn't everyone else be? Shouldn't they be having a good time with me?

Friday night I went out with some friends from work. I had talked to Memphis earlier in the evening and he told me to call if it wasn't too late and maybe we could meet up for a late night booty call. So around midnight I sent him this message (I was pretty sure he was already asleep by then):

Hopefully this isn't waking u. I am going dancing so I am going to be out until 2ish. Probably too late for u? Call me this weekend if u want to hang out?

Then when I got done dancing, at 2:30am, I sent him this message:

Too bad your not up right now...wink wink

(All the while thinking I am so seductive...)

Then I drove home (I was not drunk by this point in the evening for all those out there thinking I drove home drunk), just horny...

So then I might have maybe taken the scenic route home and driven by my old FB's house (which is like 2 minutes from my house) and after discovering his truck in the driveway and his living room lights on (he works as a bartender so he is up at these hours some nights) I sent him this text message:

U awake? Wanna fuck?

And then because I didn't hear back from him by the time I made it home, I proceeded to pass out around 2:45am.

Then Memphis made fun of me for sending him drunken text messages last night. Which didn't really matter because he did it in between bouts of hot sex.

I have a question for you all...

So I know a lot of you have Myspace pages....I do as well. What I want to know is do you guys ever get random people emailing you? Not like spam, I get tons of that. But actual people (in my case it is always guys emailing me because they saw my profile and thought I looked cool...they are so unoriginal). Anyways, they seem like real people (who knows though, right?) and I've never responded, but I get probably 1-2 guys a week emailing me.

I just wanted to see if other people get this too or if, you know, I am so magical and hot that my hotness can even transcend cyberspace?

A quick update for ya'll

So I figured I would give you all a quick update on my man situation since I haven't been keeping up on blogging lately.

Ashton: never emailed me or called for a second date. I never followed up after the original response telling him to call me when he got back into town. I am kind of disappointed, but kind of not. He was nice, but I didn't really get anything. He seemed like a nice guy and thought I would give it a second shot but like I said, there was no WOW factor there which is why I didn't hunt him down and demand a second date.

Dallas: I haven't seen him/heard from him since the pro-Bush rally in my bedroom. I would definitely still consider him a good booty call, because he was very good in bed, but as far as anything else goes, ummm...no.

Memphis: Ahhh, Memphis. First of all, things are definitely still causal between us. But they are a fun, intense casual type of thing. I could see this going somewhere someday, but I am completely happy with how things are right now. He is exactly what I want right now. He is a totally cool guy. We have a blast just talking, we have even more fun in bed (or in the kitchen, or on my sofa, or...I digress). We have hung out a few times that I have blogged about and then on and off last week while I was out of town we sent dirty text messages back and forth...all leading up to seeing each other of Friday night. Kind of nice to know you're on someone's mind as much as they are on yours.

I also went out for drinks a few weeks ago with another guy. He was nice, but a little A.D.D. metro for me. Plus he had a really bad lisp with drove me crazy while he was talking. And he had braces. Which was annoying. So I'm not sure about him either. We've exchanged a few emails back and forth since then, but he's been out of town, then I've been out of town so neither one of us has really brought up getting together again.

Ok, so I promise (I will try at least) to write about SOMETHING besides my man situation tomorrow.

As a side note, I totally CANNOT spell the word definately correctly (thank god for spell check)!

Random Tidbits about me...

• Chinese restaurants in small towns gross me out. For some reason they just don't seem right. I am very afraid of them.


• However, I have no problem eating tacos from that big silver lunch truck parked in the random parking lot.


• I hate to admit it, but I think I like mushrooms now. I have hated mushrooms since I was a little kid. I am pretty sure I like them again.


• Kenny Chesney said it best... There's something sexy 'bout the rain. I love the rain. The rain turns me on. Thunder and lightening turn me on even more.

That is all for now.

I totally suck don't I?

I know, I have been totally slacking on blogging lately...go ahead, tell me I suck. It's something I need to work on. I am aware of it. I accept it. I am working on it.

I must go now, Memphis just knocked on my door...

For all the inquiring minds out there...

...who are asking themselves what is up because for once I actually wrote a post about something besides sex. Gasp!

I did however see Memphis on Thursday and (gasp again) Friday. Although Friday really was just a quickie visit since I was going out dancing with some work friends. But you know...why not if you can, right?

But now I am out of town for work all week, so I am guessing I won't have any exciting gossip all week...maybe I will dig something interesting to write about from the depths of my, lately, unused brain.

Don't you hate it when you see something so cute you want to puke?

The other day I was driving my dog to the park and as I'm driving down the road I see this perfect Ken and Barbie couple jogging (of course they were!) down the road. He was shirtless and tan, toned and perfect. She was the same. Well except not shirtless, but had a cute little pink and white exercise outfit on. She was on the inside and he was closest to the road. They turn a small corner and then you can see the guy spot this dog that was off lease and from the looks of it, unsupervised. It was a pretty big dog, a little scary looking. Next thing you see is the guy rest his hand on his beautiful jogging partners lower back and slowly maneuver himself on the inside, putting himself between his girlfriend/wife and the big scary looking unsupervised dog.

I mean seriously, doesn't that just make you a little sick?

Hmmm, does this seem strange to you?

So I realize I've been talking about sex a lot lately. But I mean, I'm finally getting some and it's all I seem to be thinking about, so here is yet another post about sex. And politics.

Last night, Dallas came over for a little late night booty call. He was supposed to stop by after work, but around 9pm (and after a bottle of cheap wine) I sent him a text message that might have been slightly vulgar...but I won't subject you to that, I just wanted to see where he was and encourage him to come over. He sent me one back "On my way" so 45 minutes later he finally showed up, dressed in sweats and said he was already in bed because he forgot about coming over! What kind of guy forgets about a booty call? Shouldn't I be the one forgetting? I am sure you can figure out what happened next, but the following conversation occurred, post-coital:

Him: You know it would be nice if we actually went out sometime, I don't want to just come over here and bang.
Me: Umm, yeah, I guess we could go out sometime. I mean we were going to have dinner that first night, that never happened though.

Now wait a minute...shouldn't I be the one saying that I want more than just sex out of a relationship. The thing is, we laid in bed talking for a while after this and I'm not so sure I want anything more from him than sex. Or even that anymore. I mean, he's really good in bed. But he is a gun-toting, Bush-adoring, pro-war, gas-guzzling republican. I don't talk about politics much but I am definitely a liberal. I'm not sure I would class myself as a democrat, because I don't really believe there is a big difference between Democrats and Republicans, but I am definitely more of a granola crunching, anti-Bush, tree-hugger type than most. I'm not one to throw someone aside just because they are a Republican, but WOW, he is really a Republican. AND HE REALLY LIKES BUSH. LIKE THINKS HE HAS DONE AN AMAZING JOB IN THE PAST 8 (7?) YEARS. LIKE ADORES HIM. LIKE I COULDN'T GET HIM TO STOP GOING ON AND ON ABOUT HOW GOOD OF A JOB HE THINKS BUSH HAS DONE.

So now I am torn, he's really good in bed, but I'm not entirely sure I can morally let someone who likes Bush THAT much in my bed EVER AGAIN! And I definitely don't want to be subjected to that type of Bush-loving ranting ever again. Especially in my bed, while I'm naked!

Ahhh, Thursday night with Memphis is looking more and more appealing.

When it's so good the earth moves...

Friday night Memphis came over. I made this for dinner, only with chicken instead of steak. We shared a bottle of wine and some good conversation. It was a good night. No, a great night. Want to know why? I mean, the food was good, the wine was good, the company was great. But it was this next thing that made the night memorable. For those of you not familiar with the Reno area, we have been having a shitload of earthquakes lately. Last weekend there was something like 250 recorded earthquakes. Most are so small no-one feels them, but the biggest one (a 4.7 magnitude) hit on Friday night around 11:30 pm. While most people were being jarred awake by the earth shaking, or things being flung from cabinets or falling off walls, I was enjoying something so much better. While the earth was ACTUALLY shaking, I was having my world rocked. It's not too often you can say someone rocked your world, and mean it both literally and figuratively.

And the best part (well...maybe not the best part) of the evening, was that he even did my dishes again. Hmmm, life has been pretty good lately.

Workplace Hazards

So I realize that we all have certain workplace hazards that we have to deal with as part of our jobs. For some it may be paper cuts, for some it may be heavy equipment, for some it may be hazardous chemicals...for me, it is this: (sorry in advance for the crappy cell phone pics)

The fact that I work we people who like cake. And people who actually make cake. For any reason whatsoever...

And you know...the infamous candy bowl...

And then there's the the extra supply of candy for the candy bowl. That is about $80 worth of candy that will last us about 3 weeks...seriously, we spend so much money on candy.

And then there's the most recent addition, yes folks, that is a popcorn maker! We got it as a gimmick for our trade shows, but I believe we are now having what is referred to as "Popcorn Friday's" around here.

Sigh, no wonder I can't seem to loose weight!