Goin' out of town...

See you on Wed. I am going to San Francisco for New Year's!

Another Life...revisited

A while back I wrote this post. A few weeks ago this guy popped into the office to say hi. Since I wrote that last post he has changed jobs and I went to lunch with him more than six months ago. He was still happily married, to my dismay, at the time. When I first met him things were so natural with us, so easy. It was hard to believe he was married. If you remember, I originally found out he was married because I am a bit of a stalker curious and really liked him and searched for him on Myspace. Also my boss told me. The thing was, he never actually told me he was married. I always though it was strange that I had met this person that I could talk to, so comfortably, for hours and the one thing he could never say to me was that he was married. The one thing I could never say to him was that it was a shame he was married because I really thought we could have had something together and that I secretly hoped that his wife would cheat on him and he would divorce her and he would come looking for me and say he really loved me the whole time and was glad things turned out the way they did because he could be with me now. Because, you know, if his wife had the affair, then at least you know HE isn't the cheater but you also know he is over her because if he went to the point of getting divorced, he is ready to move on and life happily ever after with you.

So back to the fact that he stopped by my office a few weeks ago. And that practically the first thing he said to me (after me simply asking him how he had been) is that he found out his wife had been having an affair and they had promptly gotten divorced. Is it absolutely horrible of me that I couldn't get the smile off my face when he told me of his recent divorce? I'm absolutely horrible, I know. Except that he followed it up with some comment about "him and his girlfriend" and I suddenly got smacked back into the reality where he is not available to me. The reality where I missed my window of opportunity after he got divorced (god forbid in the exact manner I secretly hoped he would) and found someone new. Was this guy just put into my life to taunt me of a life I'll never have? Is he just the right guy at the wrong time? WTF? Seriously? Or he is really a prick and I should just be thankful that he's some other girl's problem?

I couldn't even imagine

About a year ago my mom and I started seeing a doctor who practices NSA or Network Spinal Analysis. It is similar to chiropractic care but based more on specific pressure points than physical manipulation of the spine. Over the year we have become friends with this man, his wife and 7 year old daughter. Anywho, a few months back he came down with a couple of illnesses in a row and then was eventually diagnosed with leukemia. Because him and his wife are self employed and were just building up their businesses (she is a massage therapist), they do not have health insurance and have been faced with not only the burden of having to deal with his illness but also the incredible financial problems associated with trying to fight for his life and still pay their rent, utilities and other living expenses since neither of them is really working while they are trying to get the medical care he needs. They are some of the nicest, most sincere, people I know. This morning while I was out walking my dog I was thinking. I can't even imagine what they as a family, and specifically what his wife and daughter, are going through. How do you go on living your life if the person you planned on spending the rest of it with dies well before his time? How do you deal with the debt left behind from the financial obligations of fighting an illness like that? How do you not just curl up in a ball and let it all run over you like a freight train? Especially in this season where joy and happiness are supposed to be everywhere how do face the though of losing your husband, your father?

Looking at the good in every situation

On my drive to work the other morning I heard this commercial. Honestly I don't even remember what it was for but it started out something like this: "We don't always see the good in every situation. Like when a hungry bear is chasing you through the woods, do you find yourself thinking 'I really could use the exercise...'" It got me thinking how true it is that we rarely focus on the good we can get out of every situation, even the toughest or most annoying situations have lessons to be learned, or comic relief to be found. It's getting past the bad things that is the difficult part. Trust me, I struggle with this as much as the next gal does. And I've had my fair share of struggles to deal with. Barely making enough money to scrape by, being perpetually single, and being a little on the chubby side my whole life have not been the easiest things to deal with. But I've learned from them, and I'm a better person for the lessons I've learned from the hardships I've faced. I am now a person who can support herself and live on a budget (well, most of the time, except when I see a great pair of shoes). I also have no fears about traveling by myself or spending a day taking myself out to lunch and a movie if my friends are busy. I also love myself (most of the time) for who I am. This may seem like a simple thing but loving yourself is one of the hardest things a girl can do these days. I have seen so many people in my life put up with abusive relationships, face eating disorders and consume themselves with so much hate and rage towards themselves all because they are not pretty enough, or rich enough, or smart enough.

This whole concept of finding the good in every situation has been VERY challenging for me lately. At work, by boss recently went on maternity leave. As her 'replacement' she put a person in charge who I do not think highly of. He is older and many times treats me as though I have no idea what I am doing. He rarely listens to suggestions I offer. And in my opinion he is doing a shitty job at the job he is supposed to be doing. Honestly I haven't liked him from day one (before he was 'in charge') and I realize my opinion of him may be jaded by this fact but I really have tried to give him a fair shot. Up until my boss actually went on maternity leave, he was not my direct supervisor. I still reported to my boss. Because I was just supposed to be working with him, and not for him, my general approach was to deal with him by not really dealing with him. I could, for the most part, ignore him. Now that my boss is out, he is my direct supervisor. This has been one of the most challenging things I have ever had to deal with. Working closely with/for someone that you do not get along with is a very hard situation. For a few weeks I was VERY bitter about the whole situation. I stop giving 110% on the job, I got very bitchy with everyone and I started looking for a new job. In fact I actually interviewed for another job. But the problem isn't that I didn't like my job, the fact was I didn't like this person. I finally was able to take a step back from the situation and realize that at this point, I can't really afford to get a job that pays me less than I make right now and that the problem wasn't really that I wanted to switch jobs. I needed to find a way to make things work because it was taking an emotional and physical toll on me. I've never been one of those people that believed that you could just have an 'ah ha moment', a moment that just makes you go 'ah ha, problem solved' and I still don't think I had one of those moments but I know that after taking a step back from the situation, and looking at my options right now, I realized that I needed to make it work. I let go of the bitter feelings I had about him being in charge. I realized that while he may 'be in charge' he really doesn't know what I do every day and how much a take care of without anybody even knowing...and most importantly I realized that he knows he doesn't know my job and that while I wouldn't never call myself indispensable, I would sure as hell be hard to replace (to toot my own horn for a second). The funny thing is, after I let go of the bitterness I realized that I think a lot of the awkwardness between us is based on the fact that he really doesn't know how to tell me what to do, because he has no idea what I do. Not a good position to be in, in my opinion. So even though I am still not fond of him, I learned some great lessons about working with people that, well, I'm not fond of. It's also taught me to try and look at situations from some else's point of view. And for now, I'm not applying for job's elsewhere, but just passively keeping my eyes open for the right opportunity.

Popular Hits

Do you guys have any idea how many people search Google for information on Trader Joe's Frosen food and/or Trader Joe's frozen croissants?

I get at least 4 hits a day because of this blog. Those people are probably sadly dissappointed when they get a blog written by some overworked 20-somthing girl who isn't quite sure what to do with herself (or who to do based on my last few blogs).

A little rant about work...

So let me ask you all something...when you don't know something, especially at work, what do you do? Do you ask someone, say your boss, what to do so in the future, when the same thing happens, you will know what to do? That's what I would do.

Why is it that some people don't do this, and then when you question them about it they act as those YOU are the stupid one for NOT KNOWING that they didn't know what to do. I mean to a point I realize that I have to make sure the people working for me know how to do their jobs, but I can't train for every situation that could every arise and shouldn't people a little personal responsibility for manning up and saying "hey, I don't know how to do this, could you show me?"

Shannons master plan to get the guy

Hi this is Shannon, doing what I do best, BEING NOSY! It occurred to me that some of you may not know that Dog Park Guy and Mr. Man who I prefer to call McBootycall actually live right across the street from each other. To illustrate this I drew you all a nice little picture.

Okay so the little house with the heart on it is Dog park guy. The little house with the smiley face is Mcbootycall. And the trees and super awesome slide is the park where Ginger walks her dog. The little car out front is Ginger's and will be used in illustrating my point later on.
Anyway I started thinking that this is all really silly and that Ginger should definitely do what most women do. Use Mcbootycall to her advantage. Here is my master plan. Obviously dog park guy is not aware of just how desired Ginger is. So my plan is this. Ginger needs to make some time in her schedule when dog park guy will be home, to go visit Mcbootycall. She needs to park her car right outside when she goes. This needs to happen a few times. Then she needs to make sure Mcbootycall walks her out, so that dog park guy can see she is clearly there to visit a male suitor. My plan is that if dog park guy sees that he is in danger of missing his chance he will get his shit together. So what needs to happen is Ginger needs to go get her kicks with Mcbootycall while still flirting with Dog park guy as much as possible, and as obvious as possible and then Dog park guy will realize that he is about to lose the girl of his dreams to Mcbootycall and straighten up. Don't you think this is a great plan? I mean she can get the guy shes longing after while still getting some bow chicka wow wow on the side lines. Plus she can get all dressed up and sexy each time she goes to get her kicks, and since dog park guy lives right across the street he will have to see her getting in and out of her car exuding I'M SO SEXY AND YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS vibes and that is a double bonus!

I suggest this, because there are two proven facts of life,
1. Men want what they can't have.
2. Once you are in a relationship every man in a five foot radius suddenly takes an interest in you.
(this fact becomes null and void once you become a married, mom who could use just one whistle in her direction)

So I figure if Ginger pretends to give Mcbootycall a shot, then Dog park guy will have no choice but to want what he can't have and become interested in her because shes taken and then Ginger will win.

AND IF NOT!

Then, the other thing could happen. Ginger could discover that Mcbootycall is actually the man of her dreams and while pretending to give him a chance she could actually fall madly in love! This is the scenario I'm voting for even if Ginger wants to totally fight me on this because I happen to know Mcbootycall and I happen to find him to be super nice, however with just enough badness in him to keep Ginger interested if she would open her damn eyes. But nooooo Gingers all, BUT WE'RE SO DIFFERENT, and I'm all duh thats the best way, I mean really the only thing I have in common with my own husband is a love of Scrubs and Friends!

Tell me when exactly it got this difficult.

Eventually I do want to find Mr. Right. I want to find the guy who finds it cute that I walk around the house with purple plaid pj pants and a green flowered shirt on. I want to find the guy who will understand that I will do anything for him, if he just does my dishes. I want to find the guy who makes me laugh and who I can't imagine living with out. Eventually. Eventually as in when Mr. Dog Park Guy finally comes to his senses and realizes he wants to be the guy to do my dishes!

Right now. This evening, I just want to have sex. Mr. Man (this is how I will officially refer to this guy from now on) sent me a text message earlier tonight, "Hi" (which decoded for those of you not lucky enough to have a 'friend' means 'wanna fool around?'). I happened to be having drinks with some people and thus unavailable at the immediate moment. For the past few nights, the two of us have been playing this silly little game of texting each other, trying to find a time to say hi. However, we have been having timing difficulties. Meaning I don't get off work most nights until 7ish so by the time I get home, take my dog for a run and eat dinner, it's 9. But apparently Mr. Man has to be in bed by 9 so even though I would have made it to his house by 8:30, that wasn't good enough.

But then at about 8:45 I get this text message, "I'm in bed. Naked." Nice, seriously? After pretty much telling me I can't come over because you have to wake up early, you tell me this? And now he has to work tomorrow night. But seriously, I have to wake up early too, what sane person in their mid-20's can't stay up a little late for a booty call?

Seriously, when did it become so difficult just to meet up with a friend to say 'hi'?

My new hair

So I cut my hair. And not how I normally cut my hair (i.e. trimming about 1/2" off at at a time). I cut it!

Exhibit 1 - Photo of me pre-hair cut getting ready for my work Christmas party a few weeks ago. I'm not entirely sure why the lighting is all fucked up, except maybe that I have a piece of shit cheap ass digi-camera.



Exhibit 2 - Me with a hat on...what do you think? I've been into wearing hats lately and can't decide it I look (a) cute or (b) ridiculous. I threw this one in just for the hell of it. Or I guess it could count as another pre-hair cut photo (although my hair is all wild and crazy not straight and sexy).



Exhibit 3 - Me...post hair cut. Notice the bangs.



Exhibits 4 and 5 - Me...post hair cut, the real length. I was messing with my hair and realized I could take a picture of me with my hair tied back in just the right way that it looked like I cut off like 2 feet of hair. Thought I would screw with ya'll. I did really cut off like 4 inches and GOT BANGS. I haven't had bangs since I was in elementary school. I am still not sure what to do with them but I like them. They make my face look skinnier (although the double chin kind of counter-acts that).

Post tramatic stress syndrome

So I realize I have been pretty much MIA for most of the last 2ish weeks. I was out of town for work, then in Seattle to visit a friend. THEN I had to fly home. I tolerate flying because I realize it is a much easier way to commute to many places. I actually love the whole airport scene (more about that later) but I hate the actual time on the airplane. The breathing recirculated air, sitting in seats too small for my large ass, next to strangers in a large tube with wings doesn't really settle to well with me. I really hate take off's and landings. And I really don't like flying on anything smaller than a 737.

Sunday night I probably experienced the WORST flying experience of my life (and I've flow a decent amount of times). Things were going well until I got to my gate. I am one of those people that waits until the last possible minute to board the plane to avoid sitting on the plane any longer than necessary so I walked up to my gate at 5:55 pm. Boarding was supposed to start at 5:50pm. Every body was still just sitting around so I left to peruse some of the airport stores. I return at 6:10. Same scene, everybody was just sitting around. Considering my place was supposed to leave at 6:20 I figured I should stay close to see just how late my plane was going to be. FINALLY, around 6:30, they start boarding. I am lingering around, letting everyone else board when all the sudden, about halfway through boarding the plane, a whole bunch of TSA agents come running down the hall and block of the entire wing of the airport we were in. The little amber lights start going off and they stop boarding due to 'a security breach' (i.e. someone made it threw security with nail clippers...or maybe something more seriously like a 4 oz bottle of mouth wash!). We stand on one side of the rope (and the line of overweight and/or scrawny TSA agents, including one that had a very obvious limp) while the rest of the airport stands on the other side. Staring at each other like idiots. I finally ask one of the TSA agents whats going on and she rudely responds "ma'am (I hate it when people call me ma'am), I'm not at liberty to say.". Seriously, you are delaying my flight and my life might be in danger (or you know I might be in danger of being attacked by someone with a 5 oz container of hairspray) and she can't tell me what's going on. Now I'm just pissed. So I make myself comfy, sipping my venti iced chai (thank god I got a venti!) waiting for the airport to explode or for some crazy women with a manicure set to come running down the hallway, when all the sudden the TSA agents disperse and boarding resumes. Really, I didn't even get to see any action? Was it horrible that all I wanted at the moment was for something dramatic to happen?

SOOO, anywho, if your still reading, I am surprised. But for those of you who are still reading, I continue. I finally get on the plane (for the record, I think I was 2nd to last to boarding the plane). I sit down in my seat (or more correctly, squeeze my ass into the chair) and realize that one of the reason's I felt so cramped is because the asshole sitting next to me (not a fat guy by any standards) feels he needs to air his balls out and sit with his legs spread apart while simultaneously (and continuously throughout the flight) poking me in the side with his elbow because, apparently, hogging the entire armrest wasn't enough for him.

Then apparently the de-icing machine isn't working (comforting) so we sit there for 45 minutes waiting for them to de-ice the plane. Just sit there. Did I mention that because it was cold they felt they needed to turn the temperature in the plane up to 175 degree Celsius? And did I mention that the little saviour of an airstream wasn't turned on because they were in that power down mode they go into before take off? Did I mention I couldn't leave my seat because the fucking seat belt sign was on? Did I mention I still had an entire 1 1/2 hour long flight ahead of me?

The plane finally takes off and it starts vibrating the second we start moving. And I'm not talking about a comforting, light vibrating. I am talking about the vibrating bed type vibrating. Hard vibrating bed type vibrating. As a side note, have any of you actually ever seen a vibrating bed in a hotel? I haven't...but I digress. This oh-so-NOT-comforting-vibrating continues for the ENTIRE hour and half flight! The ENTIRE flight I felt like I was sitting on top of a unbalanced washing machine. And then, about a half hour into the flight they finally begin the drink service. Luckily, they started at my row because after they poured my drink (and the asshole next to me's drink) the turbulence begins. The turbulence that is so bad (and is projected to last the remainder of the flight) that they decide to cancel the drink service. At least I convinced the steward to give me may drink before he took the cart away (even though he had poured it, he wasn't going to give it to me because of the turbulence).

So for the next 45 minutes I sat there, vibrating and bouncing up and down, sweating to death and being poked in my fat side by the asshole next to me until the captain FINALLY announced we were descending into Reno. It wasn't until we finally started descending that the vibrating stopped. By then I was in such a shitty mood and felt like I had just had the crap beaten out of me that I was a complete bitch getting off the plane and pretty much pushed people out of my way to get off the plane.

So instead of getting home around 8:30 on Sunday evening, I got home around 11 and still felt like I was vibrating by the time I got home. Needless to say I used this as an excuse for why I came in late and barely did shit all day at work on Monday (post traumatic stress...I mean I was in a serious security breach in the airport and then my plane almost crashed!). I still don't quite feel right.


Was that a good enough excuse for not posted in so long? Or should I have just stuck with something like my dog ate my computer?

Just saying hi

Last night I got the following text message:

U off work yet?

Wanna guess who it was from?

Come on, take a guess....



Did you guess my old friend...or...my old "friend" (with benefits).

Completely confused, and not entirely believing that the message was meant for me, I responded "Did you mean to send that message to me?"

Him: "Yes"

Me: "What's up?"

Him: "What r u up to?"

Me: "In Spokane for work, then Seattle for the weekend"

Me: "Why"

Him: "Just saying hi"
(which is code for 'wanna fuck?')

Me: I'll call you next week"

Him: Cool


Like I said before...I started something I'm not sure I should have.

But I could use some action...some hot action...or well ANY action.

Like they say, "Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good."

I forgot to mention...

That I am out of town all week for work and don't really have the best access to the internet (except a crappy ass computer in the 'business center'(i.e. room smaller than my closet with 2 computers in it)). Plus I am busy drinking and smoozing clients so I won't be posting much until Monday.

Picture Meme

Patty tagged me (well she really tagged everyone so I don't feel that special...but either way I liked this one so here we go...).

The point of this meme is to answer the following questions by finding pictures on the internet or by using your own pictures to represent your answers (since I am to lazy to go hunt down my won pictures of most of these things, I graciously ripped off all of these pictures from the wonderful world wide web).

1) MY AGE AT MY NEXT BIRTHDAY



2) PLACE OF BIRTH

Tahoe City, CA


3) PLACE I WANT TO VISIT

Belize




Costa Rica




4) NICKNAME

Gingy


Even though most days I look like this...


5) FAVORITE PLACE

Big Sur, CA


Lake Tahoe, CA


Byron Bay, Australia


6) FAVORITE THINGS
Dog's


Cooking


Reading (especially on while laying on a sunny beach)


River Rafting


7) FAVORITE FOOD
Coffee (counts as a food group right?)


Pepperoni Pizza


Indian Food


8) FAVORITE COLOR
Black and Red


I added a new one too...PICTURES OF ME (KIND OF)

The Ginger flower


The Blue Ginger flower


And...the Ginger root


Ok, I now officially tag everyone who hasn't already been tagged (see how lazy I am today)!

As a side note, does anybody else ever type 'vavorite' everytime they go to type 'favorite'? Why is it that I always want to start the word 'favorite' with a 'v'?

My travels

My travels look so minuscule in comparison when you lay it out like this. Guess that just means I have to get back on track with my traveling...

BTW, I love this thing! I found it thanks to Patty at Just an NYC Girl.

Because I feel like it

Guest post by Misguided Mommy:

Little known fact about Ginger. She is a seriously awesome baker. Now, don't let the word "baker" throw you off because this girl can also make some mean candy. Last Christmas we teamed up and made some freaking awesome Christmas presents. We made:
Truffles: Orange chocolate, chocolate coconut, walnut and plain.
Lemon Cookies: oh damn they were good
Thumbprint cookies with 3 kinds of kisses in them
Peppermint bark: I could have eaten a whole pan myself.

This year the Truffles and peppermint bark will be returning but we will add two new things in with those to keep it fun and fresh.

Anyway I just needed to take a second to say, GINGER MAKES THE BEST TRUFFLES EVER. They are all round and pretty and sooooo cute and my good lord they taste good. And seriously don't even ask me how many times I dunked my fingers in the chocolate while it was melting (10 times before I had to wash my hands, because I would dunk one finger at a time to keep it sterile). Sooooo. This year, you know if you actually know Ginger, you might want to bug her for some of her fabulous famous truffles.

Oh now you ask why I don't just make them for you. Hahahah lemme tell you about the batch I made. While they tasted the exact same, and I even rolled some of mine in a little coffee before dunking them they turned out looking like...Ummm well bumpy. See I don't have the patience Ginger has. So I rolled mine twice as big, didn't chop the nuts as good and just smooshed them to the outside real haphazardly before dunking them. This made them look like they were bumpy, large and not at all like Gingers.

This is why I say, it's probably safer to beg Ginger to give you some of her pretty candy shop looking ones rather then the ones my uncle so lovingly called "they eyeball thingies".

Other things Ginger makes that are fantabulous:
Potato salad- no shit I can't fucking duplicate this stuff..fucker
Chocolate soufflé- I inhaled this in about 3 seconds
Peach cobbler- while I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY GOTTEN TO TRY THIS I know it is fricking awesome!

Soooo since obviously you can tell Ging loves sweets there is a fantastic Christmas gift idea for her, anything sweet and complicated looking, with interesting flavors, or simply a gift card to the Chocolate bar would do huh!

Anyway put in your order now we will be candy making machines the weekend before Christmas and if your nice we might give you a little extra treat...just make sure you request Gingers fancy truffles not my oogy looking ones (that still taste fabulous)

Oh and Ginger. I tried not to cuss in this post or talk about sex or fucking or anything or lesbians, or hot sweaty...oh wait, this is how you get your weird google searches!

By the way...

I also bought (or got bought for me) a new couch this evening. I don't have a picture of it but it is red. I cannot believe that I just bought a RED couch. But I love it, and it was so comfy. I get it Friday night.

This is the first year I was ever successful in convincing my family as a whole to buy me 1 'big ticket' item instead of a bunch of useless crap I will never use (just so I have stuff under the tree) when all I really want is a big item that I know costs more than one person could afford.

I would much rather have my ass sitting a brand spanking new comfy couch than have lots of stuff under a tree. Plus think of all the trees I am saving by not having all those presents wrapped under the tree.

I am so happy.

I can't BELIEVE that I forgot to mention this yesterday. It made me SO happy. I am such a dork by the way (just a fore warning there).

Have any of you heard of boba drinks or pearl? WELL...let me tell you...they are drinks, traditionally milk tea or milk coffee (iced sweet tea or coffee with milk in it), with giant black tapioca balls in it. Now they have expanded into a plethora of flavors, smoothies, iced coffee drinks, juices, etc. that they put these giant tapioca balls in. It is an Asian drink that until yesterday I thought I would never see the likes of in hick-town USA (i.e. Reno, NV). I was first introduced to them in Southern California where they have a few stores that carry them. When I traveled to Australia a few years ago, there was a chain of cafes that sold only this type of drink, in every possible flavor and combination you could imagine (avocado, chili, lychee, you get the idea) with different flavors and with jelly (i.e. jello) that you could layer with the boba. In Sydney this chain was almost as popular as Starbucks are here! They were everywhere which meant that while I was in Sydney, I drank no less than 2 a day. I told you, I love them!

But guess what...yesterday I was on a side of town that I rarely go to but happened to be around that area for work. I pulled into a shopping center because I was going to run into the local grocery store and saw a sign that said "Honey Bakery" and I pulled up for a closer look...honey and bakery in the same sign pull me in like college kids to a sign that says '0.99 cent beers'. As I got closer the sign said stuff about an Asian bakery with cakes and sweets and...and...and..."tapioca drinks"... and I kind of, maybe, jumped for joy just a little bit inside my car! I was so excited.

I fully admit that these are possibly the weirdest things I have ever drank, but I love them. You drink it out of this 1/2 wide straw so you can suck up the tapioca balls as you drink it. They are so weird but I am so excited that there is a place in my town (even if it is like 20 minutes from my house) that sells these.

I warned you, I am totally a dork. Sometimes, the simplest things make me happy!

Hot and Bothered

He entered the darkened room and came up behind me, leaning down he slowly brushed his soft, warm lips across mine. Sitting down next to me the kissing continued as he ran he embraced my face in his hands. I slowly moved my hands across his bare chest and leaned in closer, the heat building between us. Slowly we laid back on the bed, his body moving over mine....




BEEP BEEP BEEP




FUCKING FUCKING ALARM CLOCK!

Were you getting into that? Yeah, well know you can at least START to understand how fucking pissed off I was when my alarm went off this morning. Do you know how long it has been since I have had a HOT dream like that! Waking up all hot and bothered to a screeching alarm clock is NOT how I enjoy beginning my week.

I mean, don't I deserve to get some uninterrupted hot action in my sleep, because I sure as hell am not getting any while I am awake right now.

Congrats to Misguided Mommy

Thanks for this guest post by Misguided Mommy, I now register on Google's Blog Search under "sexy my self fuking". Thanks for that and for the high caliber of readers you are bringing my way!

Writers block.

Have you guys noticed how many pictures I've been posting lately? Sorry about that. I actually didn't realize it but I apparently have been having some sort of subconscious writers block.

Keep reading, you might get something substantial out of me soon.

Although I did make an attempt at something substantial over at Tales of a Misguided Mommy where I was guest blogging today.

Pictures from my vacation...last week

So I finally re-located my digi-camera this weekend and have some photos from my vacation last week.

These photos are all from Point Lobos, CA (and are the only pictures I took on my trip).

My sister and I (well, our shadows)

Me

My sister

The sun going down...this was Seal Island (it was covered it barking seals!)

Scenery

More scenery...

Me again...

Even more scenery...

And a little more scenery...

My sister (left) and me (right) and my double chin (lower right).

I am so much better than porn!

Did you guys know that apparently I am Google's #1 hit for "gianormous boobs"...now I would have thought that it would have been a porn site but apparently I outrank even the raunchiest of porn sites!

Ha, I find this VERY funny!

Some more proof of my hair die addiction...or mishaps...

The black hair dye incident that Shannon talked about in this post.

And a few years later...I still hadn't learned...DO YOU SEE HOW ORANGE MY HAIR IS?

Have I mentioned how cute I was as a child?

Here's some proof...

I obviously wasn't a morning person then either!

My first boyfriend...

Him again...I did apparently like hats when I was young because I have like 50 zillion pictures of me with hats on. Sorry about the fingers on the side of the photo!

I think I had more attitude then than I do now! Where did that girl go?

This is what you get when I can't think of anything to write about and I discover my box of pictures that have been MIA for weeks.

Guess what I just found in my bathroom sink...

Come on...take a guess...

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

...Did you guess a whole bunch of clipped toenails? I bet not!

But if you did, you won the prize. And you ask yourself what this prize is....keeping asking because there isn't one.

I am sorry I don't have pictures of this disgusting discovery, but I didn't notice this until I turned the water on to wash my hands and they got washed to their watery grave.

Have I mentioned that I have a temporary roommate? Have a mentioned she has a few disgusting habits? Have I mentioned that I am SOOOOO glad that she will only be here for another week and a half? Have I mentioned that after this I really hope I never have to have a roommate again?

Yeah, I'm part of the inner circle

I finally got tagged for something...here we go.

4 Dishes I "Like" to "Cook":

1. Breaded Chicken & Mashed Potatoes
2. Chicken Matza Ball Soup
3. Any kind of cake
4. Chocolate souffles...in theory they are so simple to make, but it takes skill to make these things right!

4 Qualities I Love in People

1. Honesty
2. Humor
3. People who can think outside the box
4. People who don't give up (they encourage me not to)

4 Places I Have Been

1. Mexico (3 times, 2 different places)
2. France
3. Australia
4. Scotland

4 Things In My Room

1. My awesome bed that I love. LOVE. LOVE.
2. Book cases (full of books!)
3. My goodie drawer
4. Lots and Lots of shoes

4 Dirty Words I Like

1. Fuck
2. Shit
3. Fuck (did I say that already)....well shit.
4. Asshole

Now I am pretty sure everyone whose blogs I read has already been tagged but if there is anyone reading mine that hasn't been tagged for this meme, your officially tagged!

I totally cheated...

Every year for Christmas at my work we do a Secret Santa. I think it's a little ridiculous, it's just like exchanging $20 with someone else in the office, just in the form of some strange gift that your co-worker would think you would like, but probably don't, but have to pretend like you do...but that's besides the point.

Last week at our morning meeting, we drew names for this year's Secret Santa. There were 2 people not at the meeting and me, being the person in the office who seems to get the shit end of the stick, got left with the ridiculous task of having to remember to hand out the remaining 2 names to the 2 employees not present. At least a made it work to my advantage.

I originally drew the name of an employee who, simplistically (because I don't have the emotion energy to dwell on him right now) I hate. I haven't like him since he started and recent events have made my opinion of him even worse. Like I said, I don't have the emotion energy to dive into this right now (I will soon, and it's a doosey, trust me) but I'm not found of him. Sooooo...when no-one was looking, I peeked at the names on the 2 remaining pieces of paper and switched out one of them with mine...I switched my Secret Santa to a person who I wasn't tempted to purchase a laxative laced box of chocolates for. Was this bad? Who am I kidding, I know this was bad! But I don't care. I don't like him and I DO NOT want to spend any money on him!

Wow, I feel better that I confessed my big Secret Santa secret!

Yeah, another award!

I think the only reason Misguided Mommy awarded me with the "Roar Award" is because I gave her a hard time for not tagging me on any of the meme's she posted the other day but who cares, I now have a second award I can post under "My Awards".





I don't exactly have an acceptance speech prepared, I mean this is so unexpected, but I would like to thank my loyal readers (and stalkers...I now your out there), and the random people who are searching Google for things like 'getting a waiter to check out my boobs' and 'he's older but sexy' (BTW, I am the No.1 Google search for that string of words, yeah me for writing about older sexy guys!)."
Ok, back to business. People given this award to are encouraged to post it on their own blogs; list three things they believe are necessary for good, powerful writing; and then pass the award on to the five blogs they want to honor, who in turn pass it on to five others, etc etc. Let's send a roar through the blogosphere! The image above can be copied and pasted onto other blogs. Also, a small size of the award for sidebars can be found over at the writing circle site.

The three things I find necessary for good writing are:

1. An interest in what you are writing about: how can you really write about anything if you don't feel passionate about it? Or at least a vague interest in it... Most of my writing, as does many of the blogs and books that I read, stem from real life experiences and emotions. Truly great writing comes from letting your emotions be told by the words you choose to write.
2. Innovation: I know we all have those blogs that are ranting and raving about bad drivers or bad days at work, but in an overall sense it's great to be able to read writing that is constantly changing and moving in one direction or another. Writing that shows development on past ideas or thoughts helps readers bond to your story.
3. Openness: We all know the best stories are the juiciest ones! This one is hard, especially when you are speaking about close friends and/or family, but when you hold stuff back, it shows in your writing. The story never seems entirely complete. I am still working on this one!

Now, for the 5 blogs I nominate...

Since a lot of the blogs I read have already been awarded this award I need to do a little researching before I figure out who I am going to give me 5 nominations to...I am picky you know, can't just award it to ANY blogger. I'll updated this in a few days.

I figured I should finally take myself down huh

Yet another guest post by Misguided Mommy

The details of this night are a little blurry because well, you'll see.

So I was about 14 years old and just a few weeks from starting high school. Katie and I decided we were going to head up to the Northwest to hang out with our friend Alisha. Somehow we ended up at the local kids baseball field to watch a game. There was some super hot guy there who I was infatuated with. I was doing some pretty heavy flirting and things were going great. At some point we wander across the street to this guys house. Oh this is so embarrassing and mortifying. So. This guy offers us a few beers and of course we were all okay yay woohoo beer. Somehow this turns into a chugging contest between me and the guy. I believe I told him I could drink a beer in under 30 seconds. If you think you know where this is going you are sooo very very wrong. So I actually drink the beer in under 30 and beat the guy. Well at this point we are out of beer so he tells me he is bringing me some liquor. (I am shaking my head so bad at this story). I proceed to try and chug said bottle of liquor and do a pretty great job for half the bottle and finish of the other half fairly quick. This is where things get kind of fuzzy. Suddenly I go from totally normal to shit your pants drunk. I was fucked up. Not a little drunk, not messed up, but just plain fucked up. So fucked up that I am now (I really can't explain this) laying on the sidewalk rolling down the street in front of the baseball field and this guys house. When I say rolling I mean I am laying on my side rolling the way you would roll down a hill as a child. After much rolling with no purpose I stammer over to the baseball field. I proceed to get into a huge fight with some guy who wants to tell me to calm down. He was big. Big and green and the next day looked an awful lot like a green giant trash can. I scream at the trash can (the whole time really thinking it is a person) and then feel bad and begin to hug the trash can and express my sorrows for being so mean. I am literally hugging this trash and then decide I want this guy to come sit with me so I begin trying to drag my trash friend to the bleachers with me. Well the trash was chained to the fence so he obviously wasn't coming. At this point I start bawling because he won't come. I start shouting "why don't' you like me why won't you come sit with me" to the trash. I should take this time to mention that this trash was chained to the fence located by first base. The hot guy I was chasing played first base. So that means hot guy and his coach are just staring at me yell at this trash dumbfounded. Eventually my friend pry me off the trash and I go rolling (yes I am rolling again) across the field towards the bleachers. It is at this point that I realize I am going to puke while I am laying in the dirt. So I devise a plan that I am going to dig a hole in the dirt and puke in there. Only problem (which I did not know at the time) is that this was packed dirt so there was no digging, but in my drunken state I dug a HUGE MASSIVE hole. So I proceed to puke in my imaginary hole and then cover it up with a little dirt, then puke and cover and so on. I'm doing this about 10 feet from the bleachers so I'm in clear view of, oh, EVERYONE AND THEIR MOM. Right around this time the game gets out and hot guy walks up to my friends and I (I'm still laying in the dirt) to find out if I'm okay. I look up at him, flash him a sexy smile and puke directly on his cleats. Then I proceed to throw some dirt on them and tell him, "shhh you can't see it." So he goes to leave clearly grossed out and I start shouting out "REMEMBER TAG LOAD, TAG LOAD THAT SPELLS MY PAGER NUMBER CALL ME TAG LOAD TAG LOAD." Oh yeah I as just a big ball of sexy huh. My friends at this point realize that I'm not going to make it home on my own so Alisha puts me on her back and begins carrying me to her house (to this day I swear we went left but I guess we went right). Halfway there they realize they can't carry me anymore so they put me down and decide to wait for a cab. At this point I'm laying on the lawn of a church with my head hanging off the curb puking into the gutter when this jeep full of hot guys drives by. I lift up my head and shout, "hey baby" while still puking. The guys got grossed out and drove off just in time for Katie to flag down a cab, grab my wallet and pay for the cab ride to Alishas house. We get to her house and I commence puking. I am in the bathroom puking and puking and crying CALL MY MOMMY CALL MY MOMMY. After almost an hour of puking they call my mom. She says, put her in bed and she will be fine in the morning. I flip the fuck out and start historically crying that I need my mommy and puking more and more and more and am now puking blood. I should also mention I was naked because I also tried to pee while puking. So my mom finally shows up throws me in the back of the rodeo with Katie and takes me to the hospital. I have no recollection of any of this up until the next day. They take me to the hospital where they actually thought I was going to die. I guess I was shouting out that I wanted my dad (who was dead) and would not quit freaking out. Then suddenly I passed cold out and that is when they started to really worry that I might die. I guess right around the time they told my mom she should call someone for support I sat straight up and shouted I HAVE TO PEE. The next morning I woke up on my floor while Katie was asleep in my bed. When I asked my mom why she told me it was because at some point in the night I was so drunk I had actually crapped all over myself and she wasn't letting me in my expensive sheets covered in shit! Great. So I spent the better part of the morning in the shower scrubbing puke and crusted poop off of myself. This might be the first time I was actually grounded in my life.

Now, you want to know what it was that made me so drunk? Sure of course you do. It wasn't the "liquor" it was a fucking bottle of blueberry cooking sherry. COOKING SHERRY. I had polished off about 3 beers and a damn bottle of cooking sherry! Yeah no wonder I was totally fucked up huh.

My mom still brings this up and still gets pissed off at me. I really wonder if that guy ever remembers the girl who puked all up on his cleats.

Turns out that kid who gave me the sherry was 18 and he ended up in biiiiig trouble for providing alcohol to us. But seriously what kind of rookie was I that I chugged cooking sherry?

This is not my house

Yet another guest post by Misguided Mommy


One night Ginger, Katie and I all went out. Katie had to be home so she left early. Well I had lied to my parents about where I was going so I couldn't very well go back home that night. So Ginger and I got the brilliant idea to drive up to Katies house and sneak in to her house since it was always unlocked. So we drove up to the top of her street, turned off my engine because I had loud exhaust and coasted down here street. Yeah not an easy task since the car loses power steering when you turn it off. We ended up with the front end of the truck parked about 4 feet from the curb and the back end about 6 feet. So we proceed to sneak into Katies house, up the stairs and into her room. We wake her up and she tells us, "the blankets are across the street" and passes back out. In the morning she was so confused when she woke up and saw us laying on her floor. Isn't it great that we had a friend whose parents were such sound sleepers and never locked their doors that we could just sneak into her house instead of into our own?

Ouch that hurt

Yet another guest post by Misguided Mommy

When I was little I used to live a few miles away from Ginger. If we were walking it probably took about 30-45 minutes for us to walk. We kind of had to take some back ways and one of them took us down this big ass hill that led to a small field right in front of her house. When I was about 13 or 14 my parents bought me a scooter like the one in the picture above. This way I could tool around to the store, or Gingers or the park a lot quicker then on my bike or on foot. I used to go and pick up Ginger and we would ride around. I had a shiny red helmet and then a helmet for my friends. One day Ginger and I were leaving my house and we were going to her house. We came to the hill. Usually we would go down the wussy way but this time we got brave and decided we were going to go straight down. So down we went. I didn't even have the gas on and we flew. We flew like lightning. I'm pretty sure there were flames coming out from behind us we were going so fast. Only it wasn't a smooth trip down the hill it was all bumpy and full of rocks and dips and our voices soubbboubeneded like this. All the sudden next thing I knew I was flying head first over the handle bars and I cracked my head into a rock (you should have seen the gash in my brand new helmet). Suddenly there was a giant thud and the motorcycle landed on me followed by Ginger. Somehow I got totally mashed in the process. I was sooooo bruised up and my bike was even more messed up. We looked like totally assholes limping back to her house pushing my bike to her house. We assessed the situation and decided I would just go home and hide my bike. So I ride home, very very slowly and park my bike in the garage and hide my helmet and go limping into the house. My parents knew right away I was up to something. Not to mention the 8 inch bruise on my leg. My dad went and opened the garage and saw my bike. The headlights were bent, the mirror was bent the tail light was cracked and it was pretty bashed up. Then he saw the one inch chunk that was taken out of my helmet and just started laughing at me. He said that he wanted Ginger and I to put on some pads and practice going down the hill again and again. We just laughed at him. After that we NEVER NEVER went near the big hill again. A few months later one of my boyfriends thought he was brave and he wrecked too! Ouch that shit hurt.

Let's talk about hair dye

Guest post via: Misguided Mommy

I'm not sure if I've talked about this yet on my bog but it was the first thing that came to mind when I was thinking of Ginger. Ginger has always had an affliction for hair dye. She looooves to dye her hair. She started out slow buying these henna washes by Aveeda and then progressed to full on hair dye. In middle school here mom kinda started getting pissed at all of Gingers hair dying adventures so we knew that the next time we dyed her hair we would have to be sneaky about it. We came up with the perfect plan. Ginger decided that she wanted to dye her hair black. We knew her mom wasn't going to agree. So we came up with the next best idea. While at the grocery store we went to the hair dye isle. Found the color black that we wanted and then found a box that was Gingers normal color. We looked around and made the switch. We pulled out the black dye, shoved it in a brunette box and vise versa. We told her mom our plan to finally just put Gingers hair back to normal. She begrudgingly agreed and off we went. That night Ginger called me freaking out. Her hair was BLACK BLACK BLACK. She had tied a bandanna around her head and was hiding from her parents. My mom and I went and got her and we bought tons of dye. We tried bleaching it, dying it brown anything and everything to fix it. The results were pretty funny. If you pulled back Gingers hair at the top center the hair closest to her scalp was bright bright blondeish yellow, then it kind of faded into a purple color and then black. Her mom was sooo pissed off but we told her someone must have tampered with the box of dye we bought and we were pretty mad and would never buy that brand again. She wore a bandanna to school for a long time after that. I have a picture of her with black hair that I am digging out of storage at my work today because it is so hilarious!

Addendum

I believe this is the photo Shannon is talking about...but I was NOT trying to dye my hair black, just a REALLY DARK shade of red. I've always only dyed my hair some shade of red (even if it was so dark it looked purple-black).

On second thought...

I just gave Misguided Mommy permission to write on my blog while I am away...



...I may fully regret that decision upon my return but at least it might provide some entertainment for my loyal readers (all 4 of you...well 3 since one of them will be writing it)!

On vacation...

I am going a quickie vacation to visit my sis. I had the best intentions of writing today (you know, instead of working) but the day is over and I am headed out of town. I'll be back Sunday and will post lots of thought provoking (or not so though provoking) items when I return (because I have better things to while I am on vacation than blog).

My best investment ever!

This nifty little plastic measuring cup thing only cost me $1.00 plus tax at the little discount section of Target. It came with this little egg separator lid, as well as a small and large cheese shredder and a juicer. I can't say enough about this little kitchen gadget...I LOVE IT. It was defiantly the best investment I've ever made.