Looking at the good in every situation

On my drive to work the other morning I heard this commercial. Honestly I don't even remember what it was for but it started out something like this: "We don't always see the good in every situation. Like when a hungry bear is chasing you through the woods, do you find yourself thinking 'I really could use the exercise...'" It got me thinking how true it is that we rarely focus on the good we can get out of every situation, even the toughest or most annoying situations have lessons to be learned, or comic relief to be found. It's getting past the bad things that is the difficult part. Trust me, I struggle with this as much as the next gal does. And I've had my fair share of struggles to deal with. Barely making enough money to scrape by, being perpetually single, and being a little on the chubby side my whole life have not been the easiest things to deal with. But I've learned from them, and I'm a better person for the lessons I've learned from the hardships I've faced. I am now a person who can support herself and live on a budget (well, most of the time, except when I see a great pair of shoes). I also have no fears about traveling by myself or spending a day taking myself out to lunch and a movie if my friends are busy. I also love myself (most of the time) for who I am. This may seem like a simple thing but loving yourself is one of the hardest things a girl can do these days. I have seen so many people in my life put up with abusive relationships, face eating disorders and consume themselves with so much hate and rage towards themselves all because they are not pretty enough, or rich enough, or smart enough.

This whole concept of finding the good in every situation has been VERY challenging for me lately. At work, by boss recently went on maternity leave. As her 'replacement' she put a person in charge who I do not think highly of. He is older and many times treats me as though I have no idea what I am doing. He rarely listens to suggestions I offer. And in my opinion he is doing a shitty job at the job he is supposed to be doing. Honestly I haven't liked him from day one (before he was 'in charge') and I realize my opinion of him may be jaded by this fact but I really have tried to give him a fair shot. Up until my boss actually went on maternity leave, he was not my direct supervisor. I still reported to my boss. Because I was just supposed to be working with him, and not for him, my general approach was to deal with him by not really dealing with him. I could, for the most part, ignore him. Now that my boss is out, he is my direct supervisor. This has been one of the most challenging things I have ever had to deal with. Working closely with/for someone that you do not get along with is a very hard situation. For a few weeks I was VERY bitter about the whole situation. I stop giving 110% on the job, I got very bitchy with everyone and I started looking for a new job. In fact I actually interviewed for another job. But the problem isn't that I didn't like my job, the fact was I didn't like this person. I finally was able to take a step back from the situation and realize that at this point, I can't really afford to get a job that pays me less than I make right now and that the problem wasn't really that I wanted to switch jobs. I needed to find a way to make things work because it was taking an emotional and physical toll on me. I've never been one of those people that believed that you could just have an 'ah ha moment', a moment that just makes you go 'ah ha, problem solved' and I still don't think I had one of those moments but I know that after taking a step back from the situation, and looking at my options right now, I realized that I needed to make it work. I let go of the bitter feelings I had about him being in charge. I realized that while he may 'be in charge' he really doesn't know what I do every day and how much a take care of without anybody even knowing...and most importantly I realized that he knows he doesn't know my job and that while I wouldn't never call myself indispensable, I would sure as hell be hard to replace (to toot my own horn for a second). The funny thing is, after I let go of the bitterness I realized that I think a lot of the awkwardness between us is based on the fact that he really doesn't know how to tell me what to do, because he has no idea what I do. Not a good position to be in, in my opinion. So even though I am still not fond of him, I learned some great lessons about working with people that, well, I'm not fond of. It's also taught me to try and look at situations from some else's point of view. And for now, I'm not applying for job's elsewhere, but just passively keeping my eyes open for the right opportunity.