Friends with Benefits

Thought I would elaborate on this subject a bit...I actually wrote most of this post 2 days ago but forgot I hadn't posted it so I made some changes and this is what I came up with...



I got a comment from one of my secret blog readers (or new blog reader or random person who happened to stumble across my blog, possibly while searching the Internet for, well I don't know because I don't think I am even a bloop on Google's radar). Anywho...It got me thinking.


I've always been under the impression that having a friend with benefits is relatively common in today's day and age. Is this true? Is it just my generation (the 25ish year olds, I have no idea what our generation label is) where this is a common occurrence? Or is it really that I am the odd one out that I had a relationship, a trusting, open relationship (I won't call it a friendship because like I said before , I know very little about this person) that was completely about sex?


Admittedly, at one point in time I wanted to date this person (and I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual). I knew through mutual acquaintances and because I have grown up with this person that all in all, he was a decent guy. He may come off as many things, but when it got down to the nitty gritty he was a kind hearted, decent guy. However, when it came down to it, we had nothing in common except we wanted to spend some time rolling around in they hay with each other. We tried the whole talking thing, it never worked. We tried the dating thing, it didn't work either. We tried the whole sex thing, it worked. So we stuck with that. We never loved each other (well, I shouldn't speak for both of us because who couldn't love me...but seriously, I'm pretty sure that sentiment was never shared between us). We probably wouldn't even like each other if it weren't for the fact that we slept together for years.


Yes, I said years. I've had one night stands and I've had a few almost relationships, but this went on for a few years. He was someone that I trusted and felt comfortable with. Like I said, we tried the dating thing, for a few weeks the summer before we started college. It never went anywhere and I assumed the whole thing was over and done with until I walked in to my very first class, my very first day of college and saw this person sitting there. he turned around, almost like he was expecting me to walk it, and grinned at me...this silly, stupid grin that he had and all I thought to myself was "Shit, I thought this was over." But it wasn't. One night I got out of a class and had a voice mail asking me if I wanted to come over and study...I did actually bring my books but no studying ever went on. :) The thought of that night makes me smile but I'm keeping the details to myself. Needless to say, after that night I would 'study' with him whenever I felt I needed to 'study'. Eventually I stopped bringing my books! This kept going on, although after our class was over we dropped the whole 'studying' thing because by that time all of his roommates and all of my friends knew that no studying ever went on.

Unlike Misguided Mommy it was never a game for me. It wasn't about the chase, it wasn't about the challenge. It was just about having someone to have a good time with while I waited around for Mr. Right to show up...



...I'm still waiting.