Money and Recognition

What makes you feel like you are appreciated at your job (even you stay at home mom's because as far as I am concerned, that is just as much of a job as any 8-5 desk job I'll ever work, or more so because you have to wash your husband's underwear and clean up after your poopy children)?

Since I starting working at my current job, my boss has always been big on giving me books on being a better manager (since prior to this position, I had no management experience) and on building teams and on interviewing and on pretty much every topic a person could read about to help them become better at their job. Some of the books were boring, some were just stupid common sense that I honestly can't believe someone made money publishing a book about, but some were really helpful and inspiring. One of the most common themes that I came across in terms of what people want out of a job is money and recognition. Contrary to popular belief, recognition almost always scored higher than money on the list of things people were looking for. Everyone needs money because everyone has needs that have to be taken care of, but given the choice most people said they would have preferred to be recognized for what they did with praise. And not just the big stuff, but the little day to day activities that kept the phones quiet, kept the customers happy and kept the doors open. In other words, they wanted to be recognized for the stuff that no-one actually knew they did. I perform hundreds of these tasks every day. Some days when I leave I feel like I didn't get anything done. Now this isn't because I spent the whole day in front of my computer emailing friends, playing solitaire and picking my nose (while reading blogs of course). It's because the pile of papers and reports and client requests is just as big, if not bigger, than the pile I started off with. One of the biggest goals of my boss when she hired me was to get clients to trust me so when they needed something, they would ask for me, not for her. Goal completed! In fact, most clients don't even realize that my boss (the owner of the business) still works there because they haven't talked to her in months, or in 1 year 9 months (i.e. since I started). I spend most of my days dealing with client requests that no-one else in the office ever realizes exist. Someone calls, asks for something, I take care of it and no-one is the wiser.

I recently went on a vacation for 8 days. My mom used to always joke when I went on vacation "well you don't want to be gone too long otherwise they'll realize they don't need you." I also realize that this comment seems kind of harsh but my mom is the type of woman who is likes to ruffle feathers and likes to asked pointed questions, she jokes about truthful situations because she would rather cause a little uproar than settle for the status quo. She is also good hearted and quite jealous that I now work for a company that pays my while I lounge by a pool for 10 days a years (she has always owned her own business and therefore has no such thing as a paid vacation). However, her comment always got me thinking. Especially since I have had the luck to employ people who were more appreciated (not in a good way) when they were gone than when they were around. I should point out that none of those people still work for me. But I guess, no matter how hard I work my ass off, I always in the back of my mind, wonder what people do when I am on vacation. Do they realize how much I do or do they just assume I sit in front of my computer sending emails and talking on the phone all day? What do they do with those zillions of little client requests that I deal with every day? Do they get ignored (sometimes)? Do they get done half-assed (most of the time)? Do people just wait until I get back from vacation and call me (absolutely)?

When I returned from my vacation one of the first things I did was wait for my boss to tell me how much she missed me...nope, nada, nothing. I should also point out that we were very shorted handed during my vacation because of a few recent vacancies in positions that I manage...i.e. we had about half the staff we normally had while I was on vacation. I finally took the bait and asked how things went while I was gone. "Fine", "Great", "Things were kind of busy the first few days but then slowed down so they weren't that bad", "So and so filled in for so and so, so and so took care of so and so..." and so and and so on. "Ok", I think to myself, "maybe I wasn't missed while I was gone." I just couldn't accept that so all day. And I mean ALL day, I just kept asking, "So things went pretty well while I was gone?" Same response..."Fine", "Great", "Not that busy". I kept pressing the subject because EVERY TIME I answered the phone that day (and for the next 2 weeks) every person I talked to, after realizing they were talking to me, responded with "YOUR BACK FROM VACATION! OH THANK GOD, I CALLED ONCE TO GET SUCH AND SUCH AND TALKED TO SO AND SO AND THEY JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT" (I use CAPS to emphasize the excitement in their voices when I answered the phone. So really, was it hard to believe that I wasn't missed, not one tiny little bit, when every client I talked to seemed to miss me so dearly?

Finally at the end of the day, I was sitting in my office, almost ready to give into the fact that I really wasn't missed all that much during my vacation, when my boss popped in my office to say goodnight and right before leaving my office, says "I'm REALLY glad your back." That's it, that's all I got.

Until this past Friday night...I got invited to a happy hour with some friends of my bosses. Friends she knows through work, many of whom I know through work as well, on top of knowing some of them through school. So we are all hanging out and drinking. Having a good time. Makes sense right? Finally around 7:30 my boss and her husband leave but I stay and have a few more drinks. At this point I have had probably 3 Vodka Tonics and I am talking to a guy I had know through school, who also works for a consulting company that we do work with. As a side note, if he wasn't married with a new baby, I would be all over him. He's had about 6 beers. We start complaining about how many hours we work and how little we get paid and how it's the minions (us) that do all the work and get no recognition. Suddenly he says "It was so funny while you were on vacation, I called there once and so and so tried to help me and I was like 'no, ummm, Ginger knows what it is. Ginger knows what I need. And so and so said you were on vacation and he tried to help me. Ginger, I don't think anyone there knows what's going on except you. How did they get along with out you? (Sidenote: remember he's had like 6 beers and I was soaking in the drunken glory of my praise he was passing on so I just let him talk). Did you get a raise when you got back from vacation?"

"Ummm, no, why would I have gotten a raise when I got back from vacation?"

"Ohhh, I haven't told you this yet...a few days later I called back and got (insert my bosses name). I started talking to her but she seemed all stressed and I asked her what was wrong and she blurted out 'I never realized how much Ginger does. She just does it and I don't even realize everything she does.' and I told her 'well duh!' and then he started to go off about how I should ask for a raise, and not just a tiny raise, a 10 grand a year raise!

Ummm, seriously? Why was it not my boss that told me this? Why couldn't my boss admit to me that she realized how much I do and thank me for it? Why was it that she had given me all these books to read that pointed out how people really just want some recognition for what they do, and yet she couldn't give me that recognition? Was she afraid that I would ask for more money? Had it not even occurred to her to say that to me? Now I love my boss and am truthful in saying I do not hold this against her in any way because she has been great to me in so many other ways, but seriously? Honestly, if my boss had said something to me like "while you were gone I realized how much you do everyday and I really appreciate it" I probably would have been in so much shock I wouldn't have even thought of asking for a raise...but now, now that I get to think about this for 3 months until my annual review, you bet your ass I am going to ask for more money because I know i can demand it, because I know now, that I haven't been working my ass off learning so much more about how the business in run than anyone else that works there, I know it hasn't gone completely unnoticed (admittedly I had to go on vacation for it to be noticed but it was noticed! Maybe I will take another 2 weeks off right before my annual review?).