When is being a bitch necessary?

So you will probably realize if you look at the times between my last post and this one that a good hour has past. I actually turned off my computer, brushed my teeth and got into bed. I was in bed for a good 20 minutes thinking about a few random bedtime thoughts when all of the sudden it popped into my head "They went to lunch to talk about me." Now I realize that that sentence makes sense to none of you.

A little background: last Friday my boss and 3 other people were off for the day. I work in an office with 10 people. At about 10 am one of the people that I supervise and someone in a position that is higher than me (we will refer to him as the superior...this title is laced with sarcasm by the way), although in no way do I report to him, came to me and said that "they were leaving me alone at lunch and going to lunch". I thought nothing of it at the time because this superior is relatively new and had been taking everyone to lunch on a one to one basis to get to know them and their jobs, to be able to do his job. At 11:15, the time they had designated they were going to lunch, everyone else at work that day starting gathering their purses and walking out to their cars. A little confused, I asked the superior and he said "Were all going to lunch, I told you we were leaving you alone." At that point, as kind of an after thought they offered to bring me something back. I declined, deciding I was fully going to take advantage of my lunch break when they returned. First off, I was already pissed about some events the afternoon before concerning this superior person and he was well aware of it. Second, I was NOT OK with being left completely along. I work in an environment where it can go from deadly silent to a Hiroshima type chaos in a matter of minutes. They went to lunch anyways...there was nothing I could do at that point. For the remainder of the day, I was royally pissed at everyone, but especially the superior. Monday came around and things didn't get any better. Tuesday came around and something else happened to royally piss my off. By the end of the day Tuesday I was about to become a headline "Worker goes bezerk and shoots 8 people (I was ok with 2 of the people in my office, I would have sparred them)".

Fast forward to this morning: My boss and this superior were well aware that I was raging for a variety of reasons so we decided to meet to try and solve some of the issues that had caused some of the events in the past few days. After about 45 minutes of discussion about this topic and that, I was feeling slightly better. Then all of the sudden (with no warning the conversation was headed this way) the superior says "Sometimes I know that you don't mean it this way but when you email people it comes off as a little cross or short and it can hurt people feelings." Ok...WTF, where did that come from and actually Mr. Superior most of the time when I send emails where it comes off as me being cross or short, ITS BECAUSE I MEAN IT THAT WAY. AND FOR HURTING PEOPLES FEELINGS, IF THEY WERE GETTING THEIR FUCKING JOBS DONE ANYWAYS AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO ANSWER THE PHONE TO RAGING PISSED OFF CLIENTS, I WOULDN'T BE CROSS OR SHORT WITH PEOPLE. Ok, I didn't say that but seriously...I actually do mean to be a bitch sometimes. It seems like when I am a bitch is the only time I get any type of effective response. So after he said that, I politely responded with "I will keep that in mind in the future and be more careful about how I approach those type of situations." Good little employee I am.

Fast forward to me lying in bed, lights off, alarm set, ready to fall asleep. It dawns on me. When everyone left me in the office on Friday, leaving me feeling even more isolated than I already do from most of the people in my office, they were talking about me. They were talking about how I am a bitch. They left me alone to deal with the chaos that occurs daily in my office to talk shit about me at Applebee's. This upset me so much that I got out of bed and needed to vent which is why this novel of a blog is still going on.

It does bother me that the people in my office think I am a bitch. I don't want to be known as a bitch because I really am not one (most of the time). However, when I am Miss Nice Gal Boss, shit gets screwed up or doesn't get done and I get screwed out of my lunch break and end up working 12 hour days when you all leave at 4:55 and take your hour long lunch and your 2-15 minute breaks. I am fully of the philosophy that sometimes you just have to be a bitch to get shit done. But this brings me back to the question of when is being a bitch necessary and did I really cross that line by sending a few emails or making a few comments telling people that I wasn't happy with how they were doing their jobs (because obviously by the upset customer, it wasn't getting done properly)? Or is it that we have created this office culture where being demanding and asking people to actually step up the plate and do the best they can do, or just do what they are getting paid to do, is too much? Are we just all supposed to be nice guys to our employees and put up with their incompetence just so as not to 'hurt their feelings'? I've touched on this before when I had to fire someone but it's harder when the cases are not cut that clearly. When people are inconsistent with their performance, how do you deal with that? How do you make someone realize that everyday that they come to work, that they expect to get paid, that they have to show the same level, or increasingly better levels or performance? How do you make someone who is great on some days be great every day? Is being a demanding bitch, or getting upset that because they can't do their job and you get stuck working until 8pm, is that crossing the line? When is being a bitch necessary and when is it crossing the line?