An Open Letter to the people in my office:

Dear Office,

If you were the person who took the last reem of paper from the box and then left the empty box in the closet. Fuck you. Got that? Because now it means sometime between today and next Tuesday (when I leave for vacation which ha ha, you will not be able to reach me during) I have to go to Costco again. Even though I just went on Tuesday. Thanks! As if i don't have enough to do.

Speaking of that, why the fuck does paper cost twice as much from any office supply store as it does as Costco?

Really, how hard is it to take the trash out? There's this scientific something or another called Commons Law or something like that. It pretty much describes that, in a group of people, if something is every body's responsibility, it means no one will actually take responsibility for it. Because they are afraid if they take responsibility for it, they will forever and ever stuck with that responsibility. I realize that this is probably the reason why the trash can in the break room is overflowing, but seriously, it's disgusting. It smells and I can tell you, it's not my trash, I eat lunch in the office maybe twice a month. Let's all evolve to the point of being decent human beings and take out the trash once in a fucking blue moon.

On the subject of the break room. Don't you see the sign "Your mother doesn't work hear, clean up after yourself"? (not put up by me by the way). If you use dishes, it's your responsibility to put them in the dishwasher. I don't do my OWN dishes, why would I do anybody Else's?

Ewww...and the fridge. That Port of Subs sandwich (of which I know who it belongs to) has been in there since like Christmas. Please throw it away.

And really, if I hear one more comment about how the plants in the office look like shit because no one is watering them, fuck you again. My job is not botanist of the office. I begrudgingly accepted the fact that I have to water the plants because they happen to be the area of the office that I work, and I do it! If you have issues with the plants, then deal with it yourself. Re-pot them, water them as much as you see fit, or kill the fuckers for all I care (we have access to toxic chemicals, mines as well use them right?). And on this subject I AM WELL AWARE THAT THE LANDSCAPING OUTSIDE IS DEAD. IT'S BEEN DEAD SINCE WE MOVED INTO THE BUILDING. IT'S ALSO NOT MY PROBLEM.

And don't stand at my fucking door when I am obviously talking on the phone. I don't stand around listening to your conversations you don't need to listen to mine. Trust me, I am not talking about you!

Many thanks!