Going on vacation...

So I am officially going on vacation (even though I don't leave until tomorrow night, I doubt I will post again before I leave after that marathon post about work)...

For those of you who .... OMG, I am watching the news and they just said that Health Ledger was found dead in his apartment of an apparent prescription drug over-dose...Seriously? WTF? Ok, I have to go watch the news.

Oh wait...for those of you who I never told, I did decide to go to Cozumel, Mexico with my mom and her friends. So there you go, I am officially on vacation until Jan. 31.

Ok...here it is...

So I know, I probably held onto this so long that you are all not interested anymore but here you go.

And it's no so much gossip as it is the truth, but it's good.

Ready yet?

Are you so absolutely annoyed with me for not telling you yet?

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Mr. THIC gave his 2 weeks notice this weekend. Can I not help but smile right now? My arch-enemy has found himself a new workplace to reign over.

So here's the story:

He apparently got called by a company he had interviewed with a year ago (before he started working for us) on Thursday. They called to see if he was still interested. He said, "what do you have to offer." Apparently it was a whole lot more money because he gave his 2 weeks notice sometime over the weekend.

Yesterday when I came into work he immediately asked me if he could meet with me for a few minutes and he told me. I HAD TO TRY SO HARD NOT TO SMILE THROUGH THE WHOLE CONVERSATION. All I could keep saying was "Well, congratulations!" "When is your last day?" "Why?" "Well, Congratulations!" I am so horrible! I mean, it sucks that we now have to find a replacement (more about that in a minute) but like I've said before (and truthfully never hid from anyone) I haven't been fond on him from the beginning so I am not disappointed in the turn of events.

So onto his replacement. This is something I never really wrote about while it was going on because I didn't really know what to say or how to deal with it, but it was something that I was VERY angry about and eventually found the best way to deal with it was to just let it go. I even got to the point of applying for another job. But I got past it.

Mr. THIC was originally hired part time to be a database administrator (about a year ago). He eventually came on full time as Operations Manager (OM). When this happened, my position essentially got downgraded. It wasn't a downgrade in the sense that my pay and responsibilities remained the same, but suddenly instead of being essentially equal with the Technical Manager (TM), the technical manager and the operations manager were essentially equal, and I was below them all the sudden. It was all a theoretically organizational chart but none the less, it hurt me. Somehow made me fell like I was completely incompetent and therefore my position in the company was being downgraded. I should make it clear, that this was not the situation at all. All it was was that I work for a growing company. Part of those growing pains are a continual reorganization of things to see what works best. This was simply part of it. I got over it pretty quickly because I still was solely responsible to the owner of the company and while I was expected to work with the OM, I officially didn't have to report to him. Then a few months ago, before my boss had her baby, it became very apparent that Mr. THIC was not fulfilling his duties as OM and essentially had gotten sucked into doing a job that he should have been managing. There was a meeting between me, the TM, the OM and the owner. The OM blew up and said he felt he never had the authority to do what he wanted and blah blah blah. In my opinion it was all just excuses. Instead of stepping up and saying, "your right, let's fix it" he shut down. Shrotly after that my boss meet with all of us individually and asked our opinions on the matter and on who should be in charge giving her pending bun in the oven, and the business was at a point where it really needed an OM. She essentially said (at least to me) that the job really was up in the air and it really could be any of us, but that she was also looking for outside options. At that point I tried to put my best foot forward because I figured if the position really was up in the air, I mine as well try my hardest to show I was a leader, I was a manager and that even though I lacked some of the skills and the years of experience I could handle shit. About 2 weeks later Mr. THIC met with us and said that he had been put in charge. Quite honestly, I started crying almost immediately because I was so pissed because I felt like I worked my ass off, all day, every day and here was this guy who was essentially getting paid 2-3 times more than he should be for the job he was actually doing (not to say he couldn't do the job he was hired for, but from what I saw, he wasn't doing it). This is when I got VERY VERY angry and very very bitter. Oddly, none of this was really focused on the owner. It was solely focused on the OM because I felt that my boss what just trying to give the guy she hired to do a job, a chance to do the job he had been hired for. At this point I completely redrew from my job, I let shit slip all of the place, I let client requests go unanswered, I rarely communicated with anyone and I worked just enough for it not to obviously get noticed that I was a raging fireball inside. In fact I spent a large portion of most days writing blogs and looking for another job. I eventually applied for another job and shortly after that realized that this anger I was balling up inside was taking a HUGE toll on me physically. I felt like shit, my back hurt, I had headaches. I don't really believe in 'ah ha' moments of clarity but all I know is that in a very short period of time (a few days) I made my mind up that I did, in general, like my job and would simply do just my job. I would stop covering for him and stop working extra hours to get shit done. If things fell to shit, it would show it was because he wasn't doing his job. I let go of the anger and agreed with myself that I would communicate more with Mr. THIC, because at least it wouldn't be my fault if things weren't going well. Everyone (or at least most people), especially the owner, knew I wasn't fond of him. So that's the background on that whole canolli...

Back to yesterday/today. Yesterday the OM and the TM met with the owner outside of the office. I wasn't invited to the meeting and I don't know if it was (a) because my involvement wasn't necessary and I was not going to be called upon to do anything except what I do, or (b) because I had planned to be out of the office all day working but because of the crappy weather, ended up being back in the office by 10 am. At the end of the day yesterday, the TM came in my office to tell me something unrelated and said that "he was really excited and knew it would be a positive thing but you know, that if I was interested at all or had any questions about this whole situation to maybe give the owner a call."

Today, I went into work early this morning so the 'managers' could have a conference call with the owner to discuss this and announce it to the few who didn't know already. We then scheduled a meeting with the entire staff for later in the day to tell everyone. At this point the TM had let the manager's know that the owner had offered the job to him (he has been with the company for years and years) and he had essentially turned it down. He said he didn't have a lot of experience in the whole business side of things (marketing, admin, billing, cust. service, etc.) and really didn't have an interest in learning them. He enjoyed and wanted to continue to focus on the technically side of things. He was however the interim man in charge. I am completely ok with this because he is deserving in my opinion. Later in the day we met with everyone, with my boss conference calling in over the phone. She repeatedly said throughout the phone call that if anyone knew anyone that might be interested in the position to let her know or if anyone themselves might be interested to let her know. They had also contacted a staffing agency to search for a good candidate. "But if anyone internally was inters ted to let her know."

So here's the thing. At one point, months ago, when I thought that the position of OM was open for the taking, I was very interested in it. Now, I spent all day wondering if it was something I was interested in, wondering if it was something I could do. I mean really, I'm 25, could I even pretend to run a million dollar business? Who am I kidding? But that's the thing, is that I kind of think I could. Or at least fake it long enough to learn how to do it for real. After all, that's what I did with my current position...I had no idea what I was doing when I started. But I sure as hell do now. The position would include a hefty pay raise but it would also include a lot more responsibility and I would imagine a lot more work (and I would imagine more hours working). All day I was pondering this. That is until I had a new employee start and spent the afternoon trying to train her, while trying to get everything done before I left for the day, while trying to ponder if I even wanted to mention that I might be interested in that position, trying to ponder if I was interested. Here's another thing. I have talked to both my mom and dad about this today and both times I almost started crying the second I got to the point of discussing whether I really wanted to do it or not. I am so absolutely confused because I am starting to wonder if the only reason I was interested before was because I subconsciously knew it wasn't really available (I knew Mr. THIC was still going to be in charge) or maybe because I wanted it because I was so pissed at how things were going. Do I not want it now because there's a chance I could actually get it, or because things aren't as bad as they were? Am I just scared to get out of this rut and try for something bigger and better or am I really not interested at all in the position?

So my boss called me earlier in the day (around 12:30) and left me a voice message, just to check in before I went on vacation. At about 6:30 I still hadn't called her back. Partially because I was very busy but partially because I didn't know how I felt about this and thus I didn't want to have to talk to her about it. And I knew she would ask me something about the whole situation. Then the phone rang and it was her. For a while we just chatted about stuff to take care of while I was on vacation then she finally said "So you're probably pretty happy about this whole Mr. THIC situation, huh?" And i thought, 'Why lie at this point, she already knows I don't like him.' So I responded with "Well I'm not jumping for job but I'm not exactly disappointed." And then she continued to tell me that she had already joked with TM and OM when they met the day before that I would probably jump for joy when I heard the news...I knew it was obvious that I didn't care for him, but didn't realize it was that apparent that I dis-liked him THAT much. And then she said "Well Ms. Helper emailed me to say that her step dad might be interested and Mr. S&M emailed me to tell me he was interested (remember this post). But I was kind of waiting to hear from you......" I didn't really know how to respond because I wasn't entirely sure if she meant this in a 'just in general to get your opinion on the situation' way or in the 'I really want it to be you but can't really say that...so are you interested?" way. Then I started to say that, "well, yeah, I mean, I don't know, what are you looking for or what, I mean, what..." And she pretty much said that I should just enjoy my vacation and that nothing was going to be done for a few weeks because they had been in contact with a staffing agency and so on and so on but not to worry because we could discuss it when I got back from vacation. Then she asked exactly when I got back and said that if I was interested sometime between when I get back (late Thursday) and Monday if I wanted to get together to discuss things and discuss some other things that have happen (hiring certain people, etc.) that we could get together. To just think about things and enjoy my vacation. And that we would get together when I got back.

So there it is. The gossip. The good, the bad, the confusing. I guess I now have 7 days of beach time to think about this because I still have no idea how I feel about the whole situation (I mean, except that I am more happy than I should be that Mr. THIC will no longer be working there when I get back from vacation!).

The gossip.

So....you guys still waiting for me to dish? As I told Misguided Mommy who is now sending me harrasing emails instead of just leaving me comments calling me an asshole on my blog....patience grasshoppers...it will come.

I don't have good gossip very often so I have to milk the situation as much as possible.

Have I ever told you?

I stockpile cosmetics and bathroom/body products (you know...hair products, shampoo's, lotions, bath products, face washes, face masks, pedicure products). COMPLETELY. ADDICTED. I have so many and I keep buying more. I can't stop. "Hi, my name is Ginger and I am addicted to yummy smelling lotions. And lip gloss. And face moisturizers. And..." It's like I am afraid that the world will collapse and my biggest worry won't be finding a job, it won't be keeping my family alive, it won't be finding food to eat or clean water to drink. I stockpile body products like my biggest worry, if I had to face Armageddon, would be that I wouldn't be able to find Satsuma Body Butter from The Body Shop anywhere!

I currently have 6, yes I said 6, different types of face wash in my shower. And I have extra bottles of 3 of those 6 types (you know if case of emergency or in case they stop making it or something!). I actually have 3 bottles of one of the face washes, but that's only because I have one for my shower, one for near my sink and I just bought another bottle because it was on sale. I also have 3 different smells of body wash, 2 different types of shampoo and condition a body scrub and 2 different smells of shaving gel. I have about 7 different types of face moisturizer and countless bottles of body lotion lying around my house. And by countless I mean I have 3 large tubs of Almond Body Butter from the Body Shop, a few Strawberry ones, a few Satsuma ones, some Aveeno lotion, some Jafra Royal Almond Body Oil, some Burt's Bee's Carrot After Sun stuff, some Q-10 'supposed to help my cellulite' lotion, some Jason's Natural Lavender lotion, some Jergen's 'self tan as you moisturize' lotion...shall I go on, because I could? And if you notice, not a lot of this stuff is cheap K-Mart brand stuff. Most of my products are either more expensive brand cosmetics or Organic/Natural products which are just as expensive. I have a fortune worth of lotion sitting in my bathroom! It's too bad you can't invest bubble bath into your 401K, or pay your mortgage with chapstick.

I've recently starting buying stuff from Sephora. I mainly buy stuff online because they give you free shipping if you purchase $75.00 or more worth of stuff, and if you know anything about buying stuff from Sephora, you know you ALWAYS spend more than $75.00. Plus if you search the Internet for Sephora promo codes you come across valid codes for everything from a fashion jewel ring filled with lip gloss to a cell phone mirror to the more recent, a goodie bag of like 10 different samples. Plus if you join their stupid little club you always get a shitload of free samples, and the more money you spend, the bigger the samples get. Speaking of, I got my most recent order from them today. I actually got a free 3 oz sample of some body butter thing. It's awesome. Plus their little 'free 10 sample goodie bag' actually has more like 20 things in it because half of the samples have samples inside them (there's one that is a 'sample' but inside a little envelope there are sample sizes for 4 different types of products). It was awesome!

I also have a serious addiction to buying travel size products. I have about 5 half empty bottles of Alba's Very Emollient Body Lotion because I love the lotion and got so excited when I first saw it in travel size that I bought tons of them. I always figure I can put them in my purse, or in my car, or at work. Only I already have a travel size lotion in my purse, and in my car, and a few at work. I also have half a dozen travel sized body washes, shaving gels and shampoo & conditioners. I also hoard hotel bathroom products. Because you know you can always use them in the future for traveling...only I already have the travel sized ones at home, so you'd think my mind would tell me to step away from the mini soap, mini face moisturizer and mini lotion. But at is turns out, that is not how my mind works. In fact I've been known to steal extra's from the maid's cart while I am walking down the hallway. I have shoe boxes full of this shit underneath my sink. Right next to my back up bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash.

One of my (secret...so I can't believe I am telling you this) New Year's resolutions was to not buy ANY BODY PRODUCTS until I have completely used my back up supplies of everything. I've successfully gone 6 months without buying shampoo or conditioner. I could probably go another six.

Wanna guess what I bought this weekend? Almond Body Butter from The Body Shop...2 tubs of it. What? It was on sale! HALF PRICE. I just could not pass it up!

Office gossip.

So I have office gossip that kind of puts a smile on my face...

But I'm not telling what it is yet because I think I need to process it and decide what I really think of it first!

Only in Nevada...

Would you see a Mercedes Benz (the beige car) 4-wheeling it!



And ok, I realize this is a shitty picture but it was the best I could do while I was driving (shhhh, don't tell anyone I was taking pictures while I was driving my work truck....or oh wait, that I was 4 wheeling with my work truck because I didn't want to wait in traffic).

I was driving back to work the other afternoon and there was a humoungeous accident. Fortunately right where I was you could turn off the main road onto this muddy dirt road and every who was too impatient to wait (me and a zillion other people) drove over some sagebrush and off the main road onto this little dirt road. Mind you every one else I saw doing it had a truck or SUV but this guy in his Mercedes Benz (beige car) decided he could do it too. And he did, which surprised me because the dirt road was hella (that's one of my annoying words I still say even though I am 25 and not 12) muddy and rocky.

It was probably funnier for me at the time but still thought I would share. And I obviously have nothing better to write about today.

An Open Letter to the people in my office:

Dear Office,

If you were the person who took the last reem of paper from the box and then left the empty box in the closet. Fuck you. Got that? Because now it means sometime between today and next Tuesday (when I leave for vacation which ha ha, you will not be able to reach me during) I have to go to Costco again. Even though I just went on Tuesday. Thanks! As if i don't have enough to do.

Speaking of that, why the fuck does paper cost twice as much from any office supply store as it does as Costco?

Really, how hard is it to take the trash out? There's this scientific something or another called Commons Law or something like that. It pretty much describes that, in a group of people, if something is every body's responsibility, it means no one will actually take responsibility for it. Because they are afraid if they take responsibility for it, they will forever and ever stuck with that responsibility. I realize that this is probably the reason why the trash can in the break room is overflowing, but seriously, it's disgusting. It smells and I can tell you, it's not my trash, I eat lunch in the office maybe twice a month. Let's all evolve to the point of being decent human beings and take out the trash once in a fucking blue moon.

On the subject of the break room. Don't you see the sign "Your mother doesn't work hear, clean up after yourself"? (not put up by me by the way). If you use dishes, it's your responsibility to put them in the dishwasher. I don't do my OWN dishes, why would I do anybody Else's?

Ewww...and the fridge. That Port of Subs sandwich (of which I know who it belongs to) has been in there since like Christmas. Please throw it away.

And really, if I hear one more comment about how the plants in the office look like shit because no one is watering them, fuck you again. My job is not botanist of the office. I begrudgingly accepted the fact that I have to water the plants because they happen to be the area of the office that I work, and I do it! If you have issues with the plants, then deal with it yourself. Re-pot them, water them as much as you see fit, or kill the fuckers for all I care (we have access to toxic chemicals, mines as well use them right?). And on this subject I AM WELL AWARE THAT THE LANDSCAPING OUTSIDE IS DEAD. IT'S BEEN DEAD SINCE WE MOVED INTO THE BUILDING. IT'S ALSO NOT MY PROBLEM.

And don't stand at my fucking door when I am obviously talking on the phone. I don't stand around listening to your conversations you don't need to listen to mine. Trust me, I am not talking about you!

Many thanks!

Bad Ass Driving...

I found myself driving back from lunch driving like a bad-ass...cutting people off, weaving in and out of lanes, going faster than I should have...and I realized it was all because I had a kick-ass rocking driving song on. Black Velvet to be exact. This happens to me all the time. Some rockin' song comes on and I get all into it and start driving like a Jeep Cherokee driver...oh wait, I have to explain that one. My friend April and I have a theory that you have to be a complete asshole to drive a Jeep Cherokee. For many years we had some friends in Sacramento that we would visit like 2 times a month so we were doing a lot of driving. Every time we got cut off or some jack-ass was riding us or flashing his fucking brights at us to move over we would take note of the model of car (we got bored). We started noticing that an OVERWHELMING number of the pricks who drove like shit drove Jeep Cherokee's. Ha, and then our friend bought one! And he totally drove like shit so it just proved our point.

Anywho, do you have a song that just makes you wanna rock out or makes you drive like a bad-ass (or a bat out of hell)?

The work dilemma...

Ok, so I am warning you that this post may end up being very long and very boring. I will try to keep it entertaining but I can't promise anything and no guarantee's will be made that it will be entertaining. I just need to talk about something work-related and, well, this is my blog and that's what it is for, right? Who said anything about entertaining other people, this is really just a venue for me to vent/ponder when I need to, right?

First, the Characters:
The Boss - she owns the business and is currently on maternity leave (kind of, she checks in once a week).

Mr. Thinks-He's-In-Charge: The guy who was put in charge. I am not fond of him. I never have been, probably never will be. But the majority of the remainder of the staff LOVE him. I don't get it, he just wastes my time, doesn't help we with anything and I have a secret sneaking suspicion he despises me for being a girl who his 25 years his junior and more capable of doing his job than he is (at least in my opinion! HMMMFFF).

Mr. S&M (Sales and Marketing...get your minds OUT of the gutter, this is about work!): he takes care of sales and marketing. Very OCD but otherwise a good guy. Recently switched jobs (within the company) into this position from a very different position.

Me: Need I explain

Cowboy Wrangler: account manager for our satellite location. Up until we actually got a real office for our satellite location, she worked out of her house and had no other employee's at that location.

Crazy Woman: A recent addition. Bitter that she didn't start the satellite location on her own (I don't think she could have) and will not do any of the following: return phone calls, answer phones calls, respond to emails, do ANYTHING the way we would like it done and, well do anything else that would be helpful and/or nice. She is kind of like the 'franchise owner' for the satellite location. She also has lost us some clients, instead of bringing more in (as promised because they were contacts from her prior job).

Crazy Mama: Crazy Woman's mother. THIS WOMAN IS FUCKING INSANE AND IS POSSIBLY THE STUPIDEST AND MOST ANNOYING PERSON I KNOW. She works for us only as a condition of Crazy Woman(which at first was a bargaining chip because we wanted her...I honestly think both Crazy Women and Crazy Mama are a fucking waste of space on this earth). Her normal response to anything that anyone says to her is: "Crazy Woman is my boss, I only do what my boss tells me to do."

The Background
About a year ago, we opened a satellite location. All that really meant is that we hired Cowboy Wrangler to keep our clients in this town happy and help out with some other aspects of our work. Our clients were VERY happy with her and she had been a great addition to our company.

About 5 months ago, Crazy Woman left her job and decided to open an Bug Screening business (that's what we do...I'm being sarcastic if you can't tell but would like to maintain a little bit of mystery, unless you've been paying attention, in which case you already probably know what type of business I work for and if you are really smart, who). Anywho, she worked for someone else who did Bug Screening prior to this and wanted to open her own business. Since we are in the same business and Crazy Woman and The Boss are friends, they decided to go in on it together. The deal was that we pay the startup costs and employee Crazy Mama for 24 hours a week and Crazy Woman runs the business, working for us, but doesn't make anything until the business starts making money. BUT WORKS FOR US. AND LETS COWBOY WRANGLER USE THE SPACE (SINCE WE ALL WORK FOR THE SAME BUSINESS) AND THAT CRAZY MAMA HELPS DO CERTAIN TASKS TO HELP OUT COWBOY WRANGLER WHEN NEEDED, SINCE OTHERWISE SHE SITS THERE AND ANNOYS THE FUCK OUT OF ME, DOING EVERYTHING WRONG SO I HAVE TO FIX IT AND THEN TELLS ME 'WHATEVER, CRAZY WOMAN IS MY BOSS SO I'M GOING TO DO WHAT SHE TOLD ME TO DO.' AND GOES BACK TO PLAYING HER COMPUTER GAMES.

My boss went on maternity leave and (obviously) put Mr. Thinks-He's-In-Charge in charge. He meets with both Me and Mr. S&M and tells us both that he is considering putting one of us in charge of the satellite location. He put Mr. S&M in charge of the satellite office and staff because he has no idea what I do or how I do it and is afraid of me. But didn't actually tell me he made that decision so for weeks I wonder what the fuck is going on. Then I figure it out on my own. Mr. S&M is a good guy but generally ignores the going on's of the satellite location and only deals with the staff when absolutely necessary. In reality, because of my position, I deal with them the most (fixing their fucking mistakes because they have no idea what they are doing and won't actually listen to anything I say).

Also I should probably mention that Cowboy Wrangler and Crazy Women used to be very good friends. Until Crazy Woman re-married her abusive piece of shit ex-husband and lied (or omitted to tell Cowboy Wrangler about it because Crazy Woman knew what Cowboy Wrangler thought of her piece of shit abusive ex-husband). This is why Crazy Woman quit her job, she had her husbands money. Crazy Woman and Cowboy Wrangler are no longer friends. They hate each other and in my opinion do anything they can to make each other miserable. Crazy Mama is obviously on Crazy Woman's side. They do not play nicely. I think it is more of The Crazy's fault than Cowboy Wrangler but that's just my opinion.

The Ongoing Saga
Things have gotten bad. Clients are complaining, the office isn't being maintained and our competition is stealing away are clientele because they are starting to think we are hacks. Crazy Mama does everything...but doesn't actually know how to do anything. Crazy Woman is rarely in the office and does not answer her phone calls or respond to her emails from anyone except The Boss and Mr. Thinks-He's-In-Charge. This is not productive, to say the least. And the word on the street is that Crazy Woman and her peice of shit abusive ex-current-husband are moving to Hickville, USA. But she has made no mention of this to us. Why would she, or when could she, she never calls us!

I have spent about 10 hours over the past 3 days discussing this problem with (a) Cowboy Wrangler and then subsequent conversations with Mr. Thinks-He's-In-Charge, Mr. S&M and The Boss. All of them have done nothing. Nothing that has not been initiated by me. The most frustrating thing is that Mr. S&M, who is supposed to be managing the office and staff knows of the problems (knew before I talked to him about them) and (obviously) does nothing.

Over the past few months, there have been a few 'confrontations' with the staff of the satellite location (excluding Cowboy Wrangler). I have initiated and completed all of those confrontations. Mr. Thinks-He's-In-Charge (THIC) and Mr. S&M have just sat back and let me take the attitude and serious bitchiness (and subsequent action of being ignored but Crazy Woman and Crazy Mama). Have I mentioned that it is not my responsibility?

One of the major problems is that Mr. THIC will not actually make any serious decisions because he is afraid The Boss is going to get pissed if he does something she doesn't agree with. I should make it clear that The Boss has done nothing but make it clear to me that since day one, any decision I made, she would back up. If it was a mistake then just fix it. It happens, deal with it. But she would support any decision I wanted to make. I haven't the faintest idea how Mr. THIC can think he is doing his job (that HE IS IN CHARGE of everything) but yet HE'S AFRAID TO MAKE DECISIONS BECAUSE THE BOSS MIGHT GET MAD. Doesn't seem like the right person to be in charge to me, does it?

So here we are. Mr. THIC won't make a decision because he doesn't want to get in trouble with The Boss. The Boss doesn't want to get involved because she is (a) trying to let Mr. THIC do his job (what a concept!) and (b) she is friends with Crazy Woman and, I think, is hesitant to take and dramatic action. Mr. S&M is aware of and actively ignoring the situation at our satellite location. Cowboy Wrangler is ready to quit because (a) she feels no-one cares that things are going to shit (except me, because I am the only one who has actually taken any time to deal with the situation, talk to her about what is going on, to tell her that she has been a great asset to the company and to pass on client compliments to her, because it's true) and (b) she can't work with Crazy Woman and Crazy Mama because they are horrid...they make her feel like shit, talk shit about her to our clients behind her back, aren't helpful to her (like they are supposed to be) and don't respond/answer phone calls or emails.

Here I am, stuck in the middle of all this while trying to wrap up end of the year stuff, hire someone and, you know, do my job! My biggest problem with the whole situation is that, even though Mr. THIC and Mr. S&M are aware of the situation, both of them responded the same way to me when I confronted them about "What are you going to do about it?" Am I that far off base when I think to myself, WHAT THE FUCK, it's not my job. I have no idea what to do. It's not my responsibility. No one has asked for my help and no-one could pay me enough money to deal with them. Oh wait, I'm doing it for nothing extra right now! But I hate to see what is happening happen. The Boss has spent a lot of time and money building this company up, making sure we have a great name and great reputation and now it's all going to shit because of a few crazy bitches who won't work with us. It's not my job to care but I do. I could easily sit back, say I've tried, and watch Cowboy Wrangler quit (this would be a shame because she really is a great employee) and watch this company's name go to shit with clients who we have been trying to get an 'in' with for years. I could do all this because really, I'm not getting paid THAT much. I could deal with my little world and let that part of it collapse because no-one else is dealing with it.

OR I could deal with it, even though it's not my job and even though I am getting paid no where near enough to deal with the bullshit I would have to deal with from The Crazy's. I could gather everyone (The Boss, Mr. S&M, Mr. THIC) and tell them that we need to make a decision about what to do and do it (whether it's cut things loose or get things in fucking shape) and then demand that I wanted to be the one to do it. I could show the initiative and stage a hostile takeover of managing the satellite location and hope that (a) it would pay off and I would get a raise and that (b) being hated by everyone in my office for being the raging powerful bitch (that most of them already think I am and hate me for) wouldn't cause them all to hate me so much that I have to find a new job.

Side Note: I CANNOT for the life of me spell the word "satellite" correctly.

So, there you go. Maybe my misery was slightly entertaining for you. Maybe no. If you've read this far I'm honestly surprised. But I am so frustrated because I have no idea what to do about the situation. I honestly don't blame my boss for anything because she is trying to let the person she choose to be in charge and manage her business do his job, she is also trying to adjust to being a first time mom with a 2 month old. She is also trying to avoid losing a friend. I think the major problem lies in Mr. THIC because he's let the whole situation get this far. Mr. S&M isn't handling the situation that well, but he's also relatively new to this part of the industry (managing, customer relations, etc.) and so part of his problem is inexperience and bad leadership (Mr. THIC). So, that's it. I'm not really sure if there is anything else. Except I don't know what to do...

My day.

Do you every have days where you feel like you didn't get anything done? Do you every have days where you KNOW you didn't get anything done? Today was the later. My day went as follows:

7:30 - Woke up, hit snooze, went back to sleep

7:38 - Woke up again because I had a 65 lbs dog laying on top of me licking my face.

7:38-7:45 - Stumble around my condo looking for something warm to wear, shoes for my feet and my keys and a leash.

7:45-8:20 - walk dog

8:20-8:55 (or maybe 9:00, depending on which clock you were reading) - Get ready for work (BTW, wearing the exact same outfit I wore on Monday...and no, I haven't done laundry between then and now, so yes, I am wearing the same sweater and same jeans as I did on Monday)

9:00-9:05 - Drive to coffee place to meet boss for monthly 'out of office' meeting.

9:05-10:50 - Monthly out of office meeting with boss (who is leisurely enjoying her time away from her newborn baby). We discuss: her parents and her baby, how her husband has left her for 2 days with a 2 month old baby, my vacation to Cozumel, my crappy cell phone, a few office gossip tidbits, some actual office related stuff, some more gossip about a social engagement I attended last night, a few more office related items and then finally we decided to go get me a new cell phone for work.

11:00 - arrive at Verizon, get call from office saying that my 12 o'clock interview just arrived. Hmm, talk about being early! I tell her I am in the middle of something and ask if she can wait? Was that horrible of me? Sorry, I needed a new work cell phone and when was I going to get my boss to the cell phone store.

11:10-11:48 - Look at and purchase new cell phone. Decided on a Blackberry Pearl.

11:48-11:58 - Drive frantically to work because I totally lost track of time and realize that not only have a made this person wait (she was early!), I am now running late. I feel so bad because I had planned on being back in the office by 11, 11:30 tops.

11:58-12:05 - Drop purse in office, pee, grab water and interview questions and apologize for running late to interviewee.

12:05-12:40 - Interview interviewee. I think she asked me more questions than I asked her.

12:40-12:42 - Pee again, that 24 oz. iced coffee and bottle of water are catching up to me.

12:42-1 - Check emails, check voice mails, return 2 out of about 10 calls I needed to return.

1-1:30 - Interview another person. Great but overqualified for the position I am hiring for. She could do my job! Well, maybe...

1:30-2 - Wander aimlessly around the office trying to waste the remainder of the day since I haven't really done anything except return a phone call.

2-2:40 - Go get lunch. Accidentally lock keys on new phone and can't figure out how to unlock them, that is after I take about half a dozen pictures of my legs before i realized I was pressing the camera button.

2:40-3 - Not really sure. I think I sat at my desk maybe reading a few more emails, getting some licorice from the break room, going pee, maybe answering the phone a few times.

3-3:30 - Answering a few phone calls, offered to help receptionist finish up some stuff (she didn't want help but hey, I tried)

3:30-4:30 - Had in-office meeting discussing problems with satellite office and staff, try to plan trip to satellite office location for a day, realize there are like 2 days for the rest of the month I have available to go (because between now and the end of Jan. I will only be in the office for 6 days, I am sure everyone is super happy about that!)

4:30 - Send receptionist home early because I felt bad for leaving her alone most of the day. Realize I really want a caramel frappachino even though I had a humongous iced latte this morning. Decide I probably shouldn't have the caramel frap.

4:30-4:45 - Didn't do much, talked with a few people in the hallway about satellite office problems and possible trip.

4:45-5 - Faxed a few completed reports to clients. Still want the caramel frap...

5-5:30 - Wrote blogs.

So, as you can see, today was a SUPER productive day for me. What do they expect, making me work a 5 day week after working 2 - 3 day weeks in a row!

A few items of business...

1) I am losing my mind. Yesterday afternoon I realized that I had schedule not one, not two but THREE different things for this morning at 10. I scheduled an interview with someone, an 'outside the office' meeting with my boss (who is officially on maternatiy leave) and an meeting with a few people in the office (one of whom had the day off today). I am totally losing it! I rescheduled the interview (looks totally professional BTW) and moved the in office meeting until later in the day.

2) My friends know me TOO well. AKA I am too predictable (in a bad way). My friend is having a baby shower this weekend. I was suposed to RSVP by Jan. 10 (yesterday). I remembered in the morning before I left for work. Guess what I forgot? Yup, the invite so I had no number to RSVP to (we had to RSPV to my friend's sister). Anywho, fast foward to today. I called to RSVP late and my friend's sister said "yeah, we already had you down as coming. April told me you probably would forget but was sure you were coming." Nice, I am so predicable that my friends just count me in because they know better than to trust me to RSVP on time!

I wonder if...

...the health benefits of cranberry juice are negated by the affects of copious amounts of vodka and triple sec?

...my dog will ever realize that I am in no way, shape, or form as physically fit as she so dearly thinks I am.

...the 4 shots of espresso in my morning coffee drink completely counteract any calcium that may have been in the milk used?

...the assholes I work with feel the slightest pang of guilt when they leave at night, walking right past the drying coolers sitting outside the door and get in their cars and drive away, leaving me to bring in coolers by myself at 6:30 at night. (I work at an environmental lab, samples come to us in coolers, which we routinely set outside to dry off. I am almost always the last person to leave at night and EVERYBODY, including the-jerk-who-is-in-charge-who-I-refuse-to-refer-to-as-my-boss, NEVER bring in). HEY ASSHOLES, SINCE WHEN DID IT BECOME MY JOB TO BRING IN THE COOLERS (WHICH PROVIDE SAMPLES TO US WHICH IN TURN MAKES SURE WE ALL HAVE A FUCKING JOB...THE WORDS 'EVERY BODY'S BITCH' ARE NOT TATTOOED ON MY FOREHEAD).

...I will ever enjoy interviewing people.

...the grey hair I found on my head during my lunch break has friends coming to visit any time soon, or it's just (hopefully) a lone ranger wandering the luscious locks of my hair on it's own.

...I will every get laid again.

...I should take up drinking as a hobby, seeing as how my life is awful boring right now. Might lead to some interesting stories...

25 things to do in my 25th year...Revisted

I figured since it is halfway through the year, I thought I would revised my list of things I set forth to do in July...

1. Travel to Belize and go sea kayaking and snorkeling (mine as well start off with a bang!).
I am going to Cozumel, Mexico...it's not Belize but I can go kayaking and snorkeling.

2. Take a cooking class
Signed up for one in Feb. Good enough as done

3. Master making a lemon tart
No comment

4. Paint my condo a color besides white
No comment

5. Lose 10 pounds (I really want to lose 20 but let's start with 10 and see where we go)
No comment

6. Find something to be passionate about.
Not Yet

7. Get a phone line installed in my 'office' and move my computer off of my dining room table (yeah, this has been on my to do list since I moved into my condo 2 years ago, I just relocate my computer when needed).
No comment

8. Keep all of my house plants alive (Exception: the one plant that is half dead already does not count!)
Woohoo! I got one done so far.

9. Sleep underneath the stars.
Not Yet

10. Skinny dip.
Not Yet

11. Find Mr Right (or Mr. Right Now Wanna Have Some Fun). I am ok with either.
Well Mr. Right (i.e. Dog Park Guy) decided I wasn't Ms. Right so I am starting over...although Mr. Right Now (i.e. McBootyCall) lives right down the street. But I need some new men in my life so I have actively been keeping my eyes open for guy meeting opportunities.

12. Buy myself flowers for no reason.
I have some right now.

13. Have someone else buy me flowers (refer to #11)
Not Yet

14. Eat at a restaurant I've never eaten at before.
Luciano's on Lakeside with my girlfriends after picking out bride's maid dresses, the mushroom ravioli's are to die for, and their bartender makes a damn good Cosmo!

15. Write a book.
This counts doesn't it?

16. Take a dance class.
Not Yet

17. Go to the Chocolate Bar more than once this year.
Not Yet

18. Ask out the dog park guy (even if I still am not sure if he likes me or not).
We all know how this one turned out, but I am still proud of myself for asking him out...twice...even it he never called...both times.


19. Finish reading 100 Years of Solitude (I've started it 4 times and never seem to get past the first 20 pages).
Not Yet

20. Finish the photo collage I bough the frames for 6 months ago.
Not Yet

21. Clean out my closet.
Kind of...it's all sitting in bags in my spare room now!

22. Be a better friend.
Ummm, not sure...how am I doing?

23. Visit Yosemite.
Not Yet

24. Not let others make me feel guilty about how I decide to spend my vacations and/or holidays.
Not Yet

25. Learn how to ride a bike (nope, still haven't gotten it down).
Not Yet

Well, I've gotten a few...and I few I can't do until the weather perks up so I have an excuse for not accomplishing them. And I've gotten a few half way there's (traveling to Mexico instead of Belize, cleaning out my closet...kind of). I'll check in after a few more months and see what else I need to accomplish by July 12, 2008!

Warm tingly feelings

Since yesterday, a few times a day, I have had this warm feeling occur about mid-way between my knee and the top of my leg, kind of sort of on the inside of my leg but not quite. And only on the left leg and only in this one little spot. It's just a momentary warm feeling and then it goes away. The first time it happened I was outside and since it is currently about 30 degrees outside I thought maybe my dog flung a massive drop of slobber my way but when I reached down to whip it off, there was nothing there. Then it happened a few other times yesterday and then it just happened again...

Am I losing my mind or you think this warrants some concern?

On Being an Adult.

When was it that you first felt like an adult? Did something specific happen or did you do something that made you feel like an adult or was it just a gradual change that happened? Or has it not happened yet?

I am 25, by legal standards I am an adult. In a different time or place I would be considered middle-age. As you all know, I own (ha, originally I wrote 'I owe'...which is quite true as well) a condo and a car (well the bank does but you get the drift), I have a full-time job (some might consider it my career, I'm starting to think more and more that it is just a stopping point until I figure out what really makes me tick), I live by myself, I don't vote (by choice), I drink, I have sex (not as often as I would like), I spend too much on shoes and foo-foo coffee drinks (more often than I should). By all standards I am a bonafide adult. I make my own decisions and I enjoy and/or suffer from the consequences of those decisions. But, truthfully, most of the time I feel like I have no idea what I am doing in life and I definitely don't feel like an 'adult'.

At work, even though I know that I know what I am doing, I doubt myself all the time. When I hang out with my parents or my sister, I still feel like the little girl, the little sister, the tag-along. I don't feel like an independent 20-something career woman. I'm not married and I don't have kids, but even if I did I don't think that would change how I feel. The only time I really feel like an 'adult' is when I am hanging out with my friends, or doing stuff by myself.

Am I just suffering from the pain of having to find my place in this life? Does everybody go through a stage like this? I see my friends who have found 'the one', who are having kids and who have found a job they love and I constantly find myself wondering why it came so easy for them and why I've been left in the dust trying to sort out the pieces of my life.

So this post took more of a turn towards 'finding yourself' than 'being an adult' but either way, how did you know you were an adult? Here, I'll add another question to try and tie this mish-mash of a post together...Have you found your place in life? How did you make it there?

A little glimpse into that which is Ginger...

Right now I am eating breakfast (yes I realize it is lunch time)...instead of eating the homemade, from scratch blackberry scones that I made yesterday I am eating frozen Eggo waffles. Sometimes I don't even understand myself!

I also have a REALLY bad habit of putting my butter on top of my toaster oven (because then it's close to where I use it...on my toast...and to hide it from my butter-eating canine pet-mate) and then forgetting it is up there until AFTER I use the toaster oven, and I notice the buttery melty mess oozing down my toaster oven and onto my counter top.

Money Matters

I have the opportunity to go to Cozumel, Mexico for a week at the end of January with my mom and some of her friends. Have I shared with you all the intense pleasure I get from travelling to far away places, especially far away places that have warm sandy beaches on which I could lounge on or lay my towel on while I am out frolicking in the water? I haven't seriously travelled since I went to Australia MORE THAN 2 YEARS AGO! I stress that because from the time I turned 14 I have taken a serious trip (more than 1 week) to a foreign country AT LEAST once a year with the exception of my junior and senior years in high school. Not that I haven't been anywhere since I went to Australia; I've been to Seattle many times, San Francisco, Southern Cali, etc. but domestic trips just don't have the same meaning to me. First of all, those trips are never as long. A weekend here or a few days there just don't count as a vacation for me. A vacation isn't really a vacation unless it is at least 5 days, and travel days do not count as vacation days in my book. And they can't center around some big event. Vacations should be completely centered around what the person taking them wants to do, not around someone else's 'big day'. I take my vacations very seriously!

My problem...I have plenty of vacation time (thanks to the fact that I work a zillion hours a week, I have plenty of 'comped hours' since I am on salary and don't earn overtime). I can easily take the time off. The problem is that I have no money. Not in the sense that my bank account hovers around zero all the time, but more in the sense that I have a lot of credit card debt. And by a lot I mean many thousands of dollars of credit card debt...more than $5,000 but less than $15,000 (it's like my age, I won't reveal the actual number). Most of this debt originated while I was going to college; car repairs, field studies classes that weren't covered by my scholarships, dental work since I didn't have insurance, etc. Although there was definitely the occasional shopping trip or expensive meal out, the majority of the debt were from things I felt it was important for me to take care of or do even if it meant putting them entirely on my credit cards. Since I graduated, I almost immediately bought a condo. I also got a job earning less than I had ideally hoped to be earning (I say 'ideally' because I think I overestimated what I thought I would be earning because, while I do think I am slightly underpaid, I am getting paid a pretty decent salary+benefits). Because of this, I got myself into a situation that I can afford, most months. Some months I spend more than I earn and the difference gets put on the credit cards. I also have no extra cash to work towards paying off the debt, I simply keep it at bay until hopefully either my condo goes up in value and I can sell it or I start earning more than I spend. So I don't really have the money to go on a big trip.

My parents know my financial situation and because my mom wants me to go on the trip (because she wants to spend time with me and because she knows how much I love traveling) my parents offered to pay a very large chunk of the costs. I would probably end up spending about $300.00 max on 8 day trip. It all seems easy enough but I have a very hard time taking money from people and so I haven't said yes or no on whether I am going...but I have to make up my mind by tomorrow and I don't know what to do!

For the most part, while my parents are great people and helped me out the best they could, they have contributed very little financially to me since I turned 18. I lived with them while I went to college (which really did save me a lot of money), but I paid for my college education through scholarships, grants and loans. I also worked part time during college to give me spending money. They also gave me the down payment for my condo, but as an investment for them, because when I sell my condo the money (plus a little extra based on what I sell it for) goes back to them. But they have never paid for my cars, my cell phones, my clothes, my rent, my credit card payments or anything else since I turned 18. On the other hand, my sister, for many many years, accepted money from my grandma (on the sum of a few hundred dollars a month) to help her out while she went to school, etc. I am not going to go into this right now, because it is something I struggled with for many many years, but in the end I was glad I never asked for money from my grandma (because she never offered it to me...like I said, a whole 'nother story). I saw the control she had over my sister because she had control over my sister's survival and I was so thankful I was never in that position. But seeing that also made me very hesitant to take large amounts of money from anyone. I struggled for a long time before I let my parents lend me the money for the down payment for my condo, but I finally realized that my parents would never hold it over me and never demand anything in return, just happily accept the profit they made off of their portion of the investment they made by buying additional real estate. The money they want to give me for the trip isn't a loan, it is simply a gift but I am still struggling with accepting it. I have spent so much time trying to be this independent women who can support herself (although it's obviously not working ideally since I still have the credit card debt, but I'm on my way there) that I haven't exactly learned how to accept gifts, even from my own parents, when there isn't an occasion for them (graduation, marriage, holidays). A gift should be such a simple thing to accept but when it comes down to it relating to money, it is very stressful for me to just accept it as that which it is...a gift from my parents to help me do something I would really enjoy doing.

So what do you think I should do? Accept this gift from my parents and get over my stupid "I'm an independent women who is denying herself something she really wants because she can't get over some bitterness she has over her grandma treating her unfairly" or suck it up and say "no I can't go, I really don't have the money, even with your help, because I need to focus on paying off my debt before I go spending any large amount of money"?

Weather, weather everywhere.

For those of you who don't live in this area, you may not realize that we are in the midst of a record breaking winter storm.

Yesterday it rained...all day...heavy rain...rain on the the scale of a 250-500 year storm type rain! Then it started snowing and laid down about 4 inches of snow in an hour. It's has alternated between lightly snowing and just being cloudy every since. Up until the last hour when it laid down another 3 inches of snow. I can't even imagine how much new snow they have up in the mountains! I love it so I am completely ok hibernating in my condo and letting it snow.

This is what see from my balcony right now..

New Year's Photos...(well kind of)

As you all know I went to San Francisco for New Year's this year with my sister and her boyfriend. We have a second cousin (or something like that) who lives on Haight and Masonic (which is like a block down the street from the famous corner of Haight & Ashbury). She runs a head shop and lives above it. Her place is awesome (of course I forgot to take any pictures, sorry).

Anywho, we got to SF at about 6pm on Dec. 31. We saw this gorgeous sunset on the way through Berkeley. You can't really see it because I have a piece of crap digi-camera but the Golden Gate bridge crosses over the water there...





Once we got to our cousin's, we changed and went out to eat. Of course by the time we got out I realized I forgot my camera and my phone and didn't want to go back so I have no pictures of New Year's Eve (I suck, I know). After eating we took the bus to Union Square but found out that it was super touristy (i.e. expensive) and/or the bars sucked so we took a cab to the Broadway and Columbus area that has a bunch of clubs (most strip clubs but a few blocks down they have regular clubs). By this time it was about 11pm and I was not nearly drunk enough to be having fun trekking around the city arguing about where we should go and not having very much fun. We finally gave up (the cheapest place we could find was $40.00 to get in the door and at 11pm none of us really wanted to pay that much just to get in the door). We finally decided to catch a cab to the Wharf and watch the fireworks so we turned down a random street (Montgomery) and ended up stumbling upon the Cigar Bar & Grill. It was $20.00 to get in and the bar was great (i.e. their cosmo's actually tasted like Cosmo's, not sugared up syrupy drinks with a splash of vodka on top). They had a great local band called Manicato playing. We stayed here for the rest of the night, dancing drinking and chatting it up with some great people. I am so glad we came across this place, the evening turned out so much fun! We fought tooth and nail caught a cab and finally made it home around 4am.

The next day we got up and finally got going to eat breakfast around 2pm. We ate at my favorite breakfast place in SF. I don't' even remember the name but it is a crepe place on like 7th and Irving. After we ate we tried to go the Conservancy at Golden Gate park but they were closed...however I do have a few pics for you while we sat and decided what to do next...

My sis and me...


The Conservancy


At this point my camera ran out of batteries and I have to wait for my sister to figure out how to email me pictures for me to have any other pictures for the weekend...I was obviously not prepared to document my trip photographically.

After this we went to a music store and bought some stuff, then went and saw a movie and ate dinner. The next day we got up, ate breakfast then drove to San Jose (where I was flying home from). In San Jose we went to the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum (one of the largest collections of Egyptian collectibles outside of Egypt). Then I got dropped off at the airport, waited for my delayed flight!

It was a quick trip, that left me exhausted because we did so much, but I had a great time. It was great to do something totally out of my normal routine and get to the city. I Love going to big cities on vacation, there is so much to do and SO MANY GREAT PLACES TO EAT.

Christmas Photos...I know, a little late

So I realize that I have been completely slacking on blogging lately. I think I am going through a bit of a writers block because well, I haven't had anything to write about, plus I haven't had any time because of having family in town and working and then going out of town for New Year's. So for right now, you get Christmas photos.

My sister digging through the presents before we started opening presents.


A few of our presents...the before picture.


My mom and my sis opening presents...


My sis and her boyfriend


Sierra opening her presents...


My dad pretending like he's having fun...


Sierra playing with one of her new presents...


Holy Aftermath...