When did Wal-Mart get their family values?

This weekend I helped plan and attend a bachelorette party for a girl I work with. Part of the gift was a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond, however we needed to add a little spice to it so we were going to stuff the bag the gift card was in with slutty, trashy g-string underwear. I went to Wal-mart to buy a plethora of slutty underwear (you know...the highly classy kind - 3 for $2.99) only to discover that APPARENTLY since the last time I really shopped at Wal-Mart (a whole 'nother story, but I hate Wal-Mart because (a)the second you walk through the doors of the store, you apparently leave your brain/manners in a basket at the door and (b) they are a horrible, horrible corporation that is causing the ultimate downfall of American society...but like I said, another story)...where was I??? Oh yes, since the last time I shopped at Wal-Mart, they have apparently stopped selling slutty underwear. I have some pretty trashy, slutty g-stings that I picked up for like $1.00 at Wal-Mart years ago. Now they only sell granny panties, cotton briefs and boy shorts, and a few thongs here and there, but not the ones that will cause a stir at a bachelorette party. Geesh, one more reason for me to hate Wal-Mart. That's what I get for being unfaithful to my long-term partner, Target. Ahhh, I love Target. Or at least I have since Shopko closed it's doors. For those of you not from the Reno-Sparks area, you will not understand my love affair with Shopko, but it was a store similar to Target, but so much better in my opinion. Anywho, I am done. Wal-Mart sucks for 3 reasons now: (1) everyone that works there/shops there is a raving idiot, or at least they are while they are in the store, (2) they are a horrible horrible company that is destroying independent business and supporting the importation of sub-par products and, essentially, indentured servitude at their foreign plants AND (3) they no longer sell slutty, cheap underwear. How are all the Gretchen Wilson listening red-neck girls gonna impress their cowboys if they can't buy slutty lingerie at Wal-Mart?

Was that random enough for ya'll?