This weekend I went shopping with Shannon and Steph (a blast by the way, since I am pretty sure that you 2 are the only ones that read my blog). Shannon started asking me about a guy that I am currently totally crushing on. In the midst of it she asked me if he flirts when we run into each other and when I said I wasn't sure (probably not the correct wording anyhow for what I was trying to say), she asked me if I even knew what flirting was. I responded with 'I'm not completely retarded and yes, I know what flirting is." This comment made me wonder how little my friends and family know about my love life and makes me wonder what they actually think of me. Do they really think I am that I am socially retarded? I explained in my blog before that I have never been in a serious relationship but I should probably explain that that doesn't mean I haven't had my fair share of flirting opportunities or dates (not enough in my opinion but enough to remove me from the social retard category of people)...it's just that none of them have ever turned into relationships. Part of the reason is that a lot of the guys I have been with I have been completely ok with having them be one night stands or fuck buddies or whatever you want to call them, some of the others have just been friends of friends (BTW, I DO NOT have the same taste in men as any of my friends so when they hook me up with someone, it ends up being, as I stated before, a one night stand, and others I have to admit are my dirty little secrets that I have purposely chosen to keep them that way!). I have never been all that open or outgoing about my love life, partially because a lack of self confidence makes me question what other people are thinking when I am telling them about guys I am interested in and partially because I like to keep parts of my life semi-private and my love/sex life is one of them. I'm a big fan of the 'what happens in the bedroom (or car, or beach, or at a hostel in a foreign country) stays in the bedroom (or etc. etc. etc.) theory." I threw that last etc. in there so all of you can wonder your day away about what I meant about things happening in a hostel in a foreign country (one of my dirty little secrets that I will treasure all to myself for the time being)... But for my friends and family that are reading this...I am not a complete social retard. I am a little shy, but mostly I am picky. I would rather enjoy my individuality and doing things by myself or with my friends than spending my time with some loser guy. Just because I don't talk about it doesn't mean I am not looking (or haven't been looking in the past).
Sunday, March 25, 2007
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2 comments:
Ack. Now I feel like a jerk head. Uggggg I so didn't mean you were socially retarded gosh. It is just that since high school I missed out on any of your flirting and stuff during that period we really weren't friends and then the period when we weren't friends. So like you say, I absolutly know nothing about your dating history, aside really from the other park guy. So I was kind of just poking for some history there. Like what other flirty situations have you been in. Honestly at this point I'm not even sure I would recognize flirting anymore. UGggg now I feel like a jerk. Sorry. Wasn't trying to be a jerk just being curious.
I totally know where you are coming from. I guess I am just more open than you. I am at a point right now though where I am picky and don't spend time with someone unless I want to. I am sure you know how to flirt with the best of them! So go get 'em and make sure to give Shannon and I some details!! :)
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