Settling...

I just finished reading one of my friends blog's about the same thing. It's a hard subject to broach because it makes people take a look at their lives and whether of not they are actually living the life they COULD be living. Everyone has the life they want to live, the life they are living and they life they dream of living but everyone also has the life that they COULD be living if they stopped setting. "Stop setting for anything less than everything" is the catch line to one of my favorite songs that just came out.

For a long time, and even still today, I look at some of my friends and think to myself "what are you doing? Why are you letting that guy treat you like or why are you taking that shit at work or blah blah blah?" But they all boil down to "why are you settling?" What I've realized recently though is that while I was busy looking at some of my friends and asking them that question I didn't stop to ask myself that question. For a long time I didn't settle; I didn't settle for bad grades, I didn't settle for shitty friends, I didn't settle for loser guys, I was making the most out of the hand of cards I had been dealt and I though that I was in the place to judge my friends and the decisions they were making about their lives. But recently I realized that I have been settling, and it had a huge impact on my life that I largely ignored for the last 2 years.

When I moved out on my own and bought a condo, I took on a lot. In the matter of a few months I went from a full time college student living with my parents who went on a trip to celebrate her graduation. When I returned I got a full time job in an industry I had never worked doing a job I had never done, a mortgage payment and began living on my own, all the while trying to pay off a lot of debt from college with a limited salary. It sounds like a great change and in many ways it was an amazing way to start my life after college but when I look back at the last almost 2 years of my life, I didn't adjust all that well. I stopped dealing with a lot of things and started settling for the daily activities that consumed my life, like grocery shopping, working long hours, putting up with shitty employees and not putting the effort into the relationships in my life that deserved the effort. Because of this, I gained weight and lost all the motivation I once had for living life. It's a sad place to be in when you feel like it's too much effort to hang out with your friends, or go for a walk in the park (especially when there are cute guys out walking their dogs to flirt with), or even cook yourself a good meal. I will say that I didn't have some big epiphany like I hoped I would where I just woke up one day and was like "What happened to my life" but gradually over the last few months I have realized how unhappy I have been because I just settled, instead of striving for the things I really wanted, the things I know will make me happy. I just gradually realized that I couldn't live the life I had been for any longer, otherwise I would end up sad and alone. Who wants that?!? Recently I am amazed at how my attitude about things has changed even though nothing in my life has really change because I am just taking things one step at a time. I love cooking, and I forgot that for a long time, so now I make sure that I cook myself dinner or cook something fun a few nights a week, even if it means I don't eat dinner until 9 at night and I take advantage of taking my dog for walks in the park, for the exercise and the flirting. I'm still working on the whole cleaning my house on a regular basis thing but I know it will be soon to follow.

The other day I was channel hoping and came across some paid advertisement for some detox juice or something and the guy in it was like "get up right now and go look in the mirror, this is the youngest you are ever going to look for the rest of your life...why settle for that..." then he went on to try and sell the product and I changed the channel. But he had a valid point. Today really is the first day of the rest of my life (god, I can't believe I actually am going to publish myself saying that!) and there is no excuse for me to settle for anything less that everything that I want out of life. It's hard to not settle and it takes a lot of effort to get the things you want out of life but the payoff is so much greater than just settling for the easy road. I'm am going to try to be the kind of girl who doesn't settle for anything less that everything.