Dude, where are my clothes?

So it's been unofficial until now. And I didn't want to mention it in case the reality of the situation was that I was really so disorganized in my own life that I lost an entire load of clothes. But it's been 3 weeks now and I have searched everywhere (except the deep dark scary place called the trunk of my car...but I'm pretty sure they are not there...you know, unlike the cooler, the thing of firewood, the picture frames and the pair of flip flops that have been in there for close to a year...). It's official that a load of my clothing has been stolen. I live in an condo complex that has community laundry rooms which I use, but I can bear to think about giving up the precious space in my 'laundry room' for an actual washer and dryer. Plus I can't afford one. Plus I count it as exercise, since I have to walk up and down my flight of stairs at least a dozen times because I have so many clothes. I have lived here for coming up on 3 years now and never had a single problem (except people who leave their clothes in a washer or dryer ALL day so no one else can use that particular machine- assholes!). But about 3 weeks ago I did a crap load of laundry (like 10 loads worth of clothes, bed linens, towels, etc.). And because I didn't start until the end of the day, most of them ended up unfolded tossed in my guest room, on top of my blow up guest bed that I still had out from over a month ago when someone stayed at my house. I've slowly but surely either put away the laundry or shuffled through the pile to get clothes to wear. Over the past few weeks I felt like certain items were missing, a favorite pair of jeans, my favorite pair of running pants, an old ratty UNR sweatshirt...I really just thought I would find them all laying right at the bottom of the pile when I finally put it all away, which I did last weekend. Guess what? They still were MIA. Then I thought "maybe I've worn them and don't remember, and they are really in my dirty clothes pile?"...this is still not proven, but I am pretty sure they are not in there. Then I thought "maybe I threw them in a garbage bad and hid them in my closet while I was frantically cleaning my house before I had some guests over the other night" (what, don't tell me you've never done that! Come, I remember all you out there who admitted to hiding dishes in the oven! Don't think I don't remember!?!). But, alas, they are not there. So I am pretty darn sure that someone stole a load of my laundry from the laundry room. I am more confused than anything, but gross, I totally would not touch someones clothes, and seriously, how fucked up do you have to be to steal someones clothes from the laundry room. But I'm a little pissed off too, because (of course) the load that got stolen contained 3 of my favorite pair of jeans (including one that I have not been, until recently, able to fit into so I have been holding them hostage in my closet until I lost a little weight) and my favorite running pants (which I searched high and low to find). Aggggg, what kind of person would take someone else's clothes?

So here's my plea...

To the freak who stole my favorite pairs of jeans and running pants. Could you please return them? No questions asked. You can keep the ratty old sweatshirt and any of the other miscellaneous clothes that were in there, I really just want the jeans and the running pants back. I'll even trade, I have about 10 bags of clothes I am giving away, you can have them all if I can just have the aforementioned items back.

Thank you clothes-stealing-freak!