Goin' out of town...

See you on Wed. I am going to San Francisco for New Year's!

Another Life...revisited

A while back I wrote this post. A few weeks ago this guy popped into the office to say hi. Since I wrote that last post he has changed jobs and I went to lunch with him more than six months ago. He was still happily married, to my dismay, at the time. When I first met him things were so natural with us, so easy. It was hard to believe he was married. If you remember, I originally found out he was married because I am a bit of a stalker curious and really liked him and searched for him on Myspace. Also my boss told me. The thing was, he never actually told me he was married. I always though it was strange that I had met this person that I could talk to, so comfortably, for hours and the one thing he could never say to me was that he was married. The one thing I could never say to him was that it was a shame he was married because I really thought we could have had something together and that I secretly hoped that his wife would cheat on him and he would divorce her and he would come looking for me and say he really loved me the whole time and was glad things turned out the way they did because he could be with me now. Because, you know, if his wife had the affair, then at least you know HE isn't the cheater but you also know he is over her because if he went to the point of getting divorced, he is ready to move on and life happily ever after with you.

So back to the fact that he stopped by my office a few weeks ago. And that practically the first thing he said to me (after me simply asking him how he had been) is that he found out his wife had been having an affair and they had promptly gotten divorced. Is it absolutely horrible of me that I couldn't get the smile off my face when he told me of his recent divorce? I'm absolutely horrible, I know. Except that he followed it up with some comment about "him and his girlfriend" and I suddenly got smacked back into the reality where he is not available to me. The reality where I missed my window of opportunity after he got divorced (god forbid in the exact manner I secretly hoped he would) and found someone new. Was this guy just put into my life to taunt me of a life I'll never have? Is he just the right guy at the wrong time? WTF? Seriously? Or he is really a prick and I should just be thankful that he's some other girl's problem?

I couldn't even imagine

About a year ago my mom and I started seeing a doctor who practices NSA or Network Spinal Analysis. It is similar to chiropractic care but based more on specific pressure points than physical manipulation of the spine. Over the year we have become friends with this man, his wife and 7 year old daughter. Anywho, a few months back he came down with a couple of illnesses in a row and then was eventually diagnosed with leukemia. Because him and his wife are self employed and were just building up their businesses (she is a massage therapist), they do not have health insurance and have been faced with not only the burden of having to deal with his illness but also the incredible financial problems associated with trying to fight for his life and still pay their rent, utilities and other living expenses since neither of them is really working while they are trying to get the medical care he needs. They are some of the nicest, most sincere, people I know. This morning while I was out walking my dog I was thinking. I can't even imagine what they as a family, and specifically what his wife and daughter, are going through. How do you go on living your life if the person you planned on spending the rest of it with dies well before his time? How do you deal with the debt left behind from the financial obligations of fighting an illness like that? How do you not just curl up in a ball and let it all run over you like a freight train? Especially in this season where joy and happiness are supposed to be everywhere how do face the though of losing your husband, your father?

Looking at the good in every situation

On my drive to work the other morning I heard this commercial. Honestly I don't even remember what it was for but it started out something like this: "We don't always see the good in every situation. Like when a hungry bear is chasing you through the woods, do you find yourself thinking 'I really could use the exercise...'" It got me thinking how true it is that we rarely focus on the good we can get out of every situation, even the toughest or most annoying situations have lessons to be learned, or comic relief to be found. It's getting past the bad things that is the difficult part. Trust me, I struggle with this as much as the next gal does. And I've had my fair share of struggles to deal with. Barely making enough money to scrape by, being perpetually single, and being a little on the chubby side my whole life have not been the easiest things to deal with. But I've learned from them, and I'm a better person for the lessons I've learned from the hardships I've faced. I am now a person who can support herself and live on a budget (well, most of the time, except when I see a great pair of shoes). I also have no fears about traveling by myself or spending a day taking myself out to lunch and a movie if my friends are busy. I also love myself (most of the time) for who I am. This may seem like a simple thing but loving yourself is one of the hardest things a girl can do these days. I have seen so many people in my life put up with abusive relationships, face eating disorders and consume themselves with so much hate and rage towards themselves all because they are not pretty enough, or rich enough, or smart enough.

This whole concept of finding the good in every situation has been VERY challenging for me lately. At work, by boss recently went on maternity leave. As her 'replacement' she put a person in charge who I do not think highly of. He is older and many times treats me as though I have no idea what I am doing. He rarely listens to suggestions I offer. And in my opinion he is doing a shitty job at the job he is supposed to be doing. Honestly I haven't liked him from day one (before he was 'in charge') and I realize my opinion of him may be jaded by this fact but I really have tried to give him a fair shot. Up until my boss actually went on maternity leave, he was not my direct supervisor. I still reported to my boss. Because I was just supposed to be working with him, and not for him, my general approach was to deal with him by not really dealing with him. I could, for the most part, ignore him. Now that my boss is out, he is my direct supervisor. This has been one of the most challenging things I have ever had to deal with. Working closely with/for someone that you do not get along with is a very hard situation. For a few weeks I was VERY bitter about the whole situation. I stop giving 110% on the job, I got very bitchy with everyone and I started looking for a new job. In fact I actually interviewed for another job. But the problem isn't that I didn't like my job, the fact was I didn't like this person. I finally was able to take a step back from the situation and realize that at this point, I can't really afford to get a job that pays me less than I make right now and that the problem wasn't really that I wanted to switch jobs. I needed to find a way to make things work because it was taking an emotional and physical toll on me. I've never been one of those people that believed that you could just have an 'ah ha moment', a moment that just makes you go 'ah ha, problem solved' and I still don't think I had one of those moments but I know that after taking a step back from the situation, and looking at my options right now, I realized that I needed to make it work. I let go of the bitter feelings I had about him being in charge. I realized that while he may 'be in charge' he really doesn't know what I do every day and how much a take care of without anybody even knowing...and most importantly I realized that he knows he doesn't know my job and that while I wouldn't never call myself indispensable, I would sure as hell be hard to replace (to toot my own horn for a second). The funny thing is, after I let go of the bitterness I realized that I think a lot of the awkwardness between us is based on the fact that he really doesn't know how to tell me what to do, because he has no idea what I do. Not a good position to be in, in my opinion. So even though I am still not fond of him, I learned some great lessons about working with people that, well, I'm not fond of. It's also taught me to try and look at situations from some else's point of view. And for now, I'm not applying for job's elsewhere, but just passively keeping my eyes open for the right opportunity.

Popular Hits

Do you guys have any idea how many people search Google for information on Trader Joe's Frosen food and/or Trader Joe's frozen croissants?

I get at least 4 hits a day because of this blog. Those people are probably sadly dissappointed when they get a blog written by some overworked 20-somthing girl who isn't quite sure what to do with herself (or who to do based on my last few blogs).

A little rant about work...

So let me ask you all something...when you don't know something, especially at work, what do you do? Do you ask someone, say your boss, what to do so in the future, when the same thing happens, you will know what to do? That's what I would do.

Why is it that some people don't do this, and then when you question them about it they act as those YOU are the stupid one for NOT KNOWING that they didn't know what to do. I mean to a point I realize that I have to make sure the people working for me know how to do their jobs, but I can't train for every situation that could every arise and shouldn't people a little personal responsibility for manning up and saying "hey, I don't know how to do this, could you show me?"

Shannons master plan to get the guy

Hi this is Shannon, doing what I do best, BEING NOSY! It occurred to me that some of you may not know that Dog Park Guy and Mr. Man who I prefer to call McBootycall actually live right across the street from each other. To illustrate this I drew you all a nice little picture.

Okay so the little house with the heart on it is Dog park guy. The little house with the smiley face is Mcbootycall. And the trees and super awesome slide is the park where Ginger walks her dog. The little car out front is Ginger's and will be used in illustrating my point later on.
Anyway I started thinking that this is all really silly and that Ginger should definitely do what most women do. Use Mcbootycall to her advantage. Here is my master plan. Obviously dog park guy is not aware of just how desired Ginger is. So my plan is this. Ginger needs to make some time in her schedule when dog park guy will be home, to go visit Mcbootycall. She needs to park her car right outside when she goes. This needs to happen a few times. Then she needs to make sure Mcbootycall walks her out, so that dog park guy can see she is clearly there to visit a male suitor. My plan is that if dog park guy sees that he is in danger of missing his chance he will get his shit together. So what needs to happen is Ginger needs to go get her kicks with Mcbootycall while still flirting with Dog park guy as much as possible, and as obvious as possible and then Dog park guy will realize that he is about to lose the girl of his dreams to Mcbootycall and straighten up. Don't you think this is a great plan? I mean she can get the guy shes longing after while still getting some bow chicka wow wow on the side lines. Plus she can get all dressed up and sexy each time she goes to get her kicks, and since dog park guy lives right across the street he will have to see her getting in and out of her car exuding I'M SO SEXY AND YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS vibes and that is a double bonus!

I suggest this, because there are two proven facts of life,
1. Men want what they can't have.
2. Once you are in a relationship every man in a five foot radius suddenly takes an interest in you.
(this fact becomes null and void once you become a married, mom who could use just one whistle in her direction)

So I figure if Ginger pretends to give Mcbootycall a shot, then Dog park guy will have no choice but to want what he can't have and become interested in her because shes taken and then Ginger will win.

AND IF NOT!

Then, the other thing could happen. Ginger could discover that Mcbootycall is actually the man of her dreams and while pretending to give him a chance she could actually fall madly in love! This is the scenario I'm voting for even if Ginger wants to totally fight me on this because I happen to know Mcbootycall and I happen to find him to be super nice, however with just enough badness in him to keep Ginger interested if she would open her damn eyes. But nooooo Gingers all, BUT WE'RE SO DIFFERENT, and I'm all duh thats the best way, I mean really the only thing I have in common with my own husband is a love of Scrubs and Friends!

Tell me when exactly it got this difficult.

Eventually I do want to find Mr. Right. I want to find the guy who finds it cute that I walk around the house with purple plaid pj pants and a green flowered shirt on. I want to find the guy who will understand that I will do anything for him, if he just does my dishes. I want to find the guy who makes me laugh and who I can't imagine living with out. Eventually. Eventually as in when Mr. Dog Park Guy finally comes to his senses and realizes he wants to be the guy to do my dishes!

Right now. This evening, I just want to have sex. Mr. Man (this is how I will officially refer to this guy from now on) sent me a text message earlier tonight, "Hi" (which decoded for those of you not lucky enough to have a 'friend' means 'wanna fool around?'). I happened to be having drinks with some people and thus unavailable at the immediate moment. For the past few nights, the two of us have been playing this silly little game of texting each other, trying to find a time to say hi. However, we have been having timing difficulties. Meaning I don't get off work most nights until 7ish so by the time I get home, take my dog for a run and eat dinner, it's 9. But apparently Mr. Man has to be in bed by 9 so even though I would have made it to his house by 8:30, that wasn't good enough.

But then at about 8:45 I get this text message, "I'm in bed. Naked." Nice, seriously? After pretty much telling me I can't come over because you have to wake up early, you tell me this? And now he has to work tomorrow night. But seriously, I have to wake up early too, what sane person in their mid-20's can't stay up a little late for a booty call?

Seriously, when did it become so difficult just to meet up with a friend to say 'hi'?

My new hair

So I cut my hair. And not how I normally cut my hair (i.e. trimming about 1/2" off at at a time). I cut it!

Exhibit 1 - Photo of me pre-hair cut getting ready for my work Christmas party a few weeks ago. I'm not entirely sure why the lighting is all fucked up, except maybe that I have a piece of shit cheap ass digi-camera.



Exhibit 2 - Me with a hat on...what do you think? I've been into wearing hats lately and can't decide it I look (a) cute or (b) ridiculous. I threw this one in just for the hell of it. Or I guess it could count as another pre-hair cut photo (although my hair is all wild and crazy not straight and sexy).



Exhibit 3 - Me...post hair cut. Notice the bangs.



Exhibits 4 and 5 - Me...post hair cut, the real length. I was messing with my hair and realized I could take a picture of me with my hair tied back in just the right way that it looked like I cut off like 2 feet of hair. Thought I would screw with ya'll. I did really cut off like 4 inches and GOT BANGS. I haven't had bangs since I was in elementary school. I am still not sure what to do with them but I like them. They make my face look skinnier (although the double chin kind of counter-acts that).

Post tramatic stress syndrome

So I realize I have been pretty much MIA for most of the last 2ish weeks. I was out of town for work, then in Seattle to visit a friend. THEN I had to fly home. I tolerate flying because I realize it is a much easier way to commute to many places. I actually love the whole airport scene (more about that later) but I hate the actual time on the airplane. The breathing recirculated air, sitting in seats too small for my large ass, next to strangers in a large tube with wings doesn't really settle to well with me. I really hate take off's and landings. And I really don't like flying on anything smaller than a 737.

Sunday night I probably experienced the WORST flying experience of my life (and I've flow a decent amount of times). Things were going well until I got to my gate. I am one of those people that waits until the last possible minute to board the plane to avoid sitting on the plane any longer than necessary so I walked up to my gate at 5:55 pm. Boarding was supposed to start at 5:50pm. Every body was still just sitting around so I left to peruse some of the airport stores. I return at 6:10. Same scene, everybody was just sitting around. Considering my place was supposed to leave at 6:20 I figured I should stay close to see just how late my plane was going to be. FINALLY, around 6:30, they start boarding. I am lingering around, letting everyone else board when all the sudden, about halfway through boarding the plane, a whole bunch of TSA agents come running down the hall and block of the entire wing of the airport we were in. The little amber lights start going off and they stop boarding due to 'a security breach' (i.e. someone made it threw security with nail clippers...or maybe something more seriously like a 4 oz bottle of mouth wash!). We stand on one side of the rope (and the line of overweight and/or scrawny TSA agents, including one that had a very obvious limp) while the rest of the airport stands on the other side. Staring at each other like idiots. I finally ask one of the TSA agents whats going on and she rudely responds "ma'am (I hate it when people call me ma'am), I'm not at liberty to say.". Seriously, you are delaying my flight and my life might be in danger (or you know I might be in danger of being attacked by someone with a 5 oz container of hairspray) and she can't tell me what's going on. Now I'm just pissed. So I make myself comfy, sipping my venti iced chai (thank god I got a venti!) waiting for the airport to explode or for some crazy women with a manicure set to come running down the hallway, when all the sudden the TSA agents disperse and boarding resumes. Really, I didn't even get to see any action? Was it horrible that all I wanted at the moment was for something dramatic to happen?

SOOO, anywho, if your still reading, I am surprised. But for those of you who are still reading, I continue. I finally get on the plane (for the record, I think I was 2nd to last to boarding the plane). I sit down in my seat (or more correctly, squeeze my ass into the chair) and realize that one of the reason's I felt so cramped is because the asshole sitting next to me (not a fat guy by any standards) feels he needs to air his balls out and sit with his legs spread apart while simultaneously (and continuously throughout the flight) poking me in the side with his elbow because, apparently, hogging the entire armrest wasn't enough for him.

Then apparently the de-icing machine isn't working (comforting) so we sit there for 45 minutes waiting for them to de-ice the plane. Just sit there. Did I mention that because it was cold they felt they needed to turn the temperature in the plane up to 175 degree Celsius? And did I mention that the little saviour of an airstream wasn't turned on because they were in that power down mode they go into before take off? Did I mention I couldn't leave my seat because the fucking seat belt sign was on? Did I mention I still had an entire 1 1/2 hour long flight ahead of me?

The plane finally takes off and it starts vibrating the second we start moving. And I'm not talking about a comforting, light vibrating. I am talking about the vibrating bed type vibrating. Hard vibrating bed type vibrating. As a side note, have any of you actually ever seen a vibrating bed in a hotel? I haven't...but I digress. This oh-so-NOT-comforting-vibrating continues for the ENTIRE hour and half flight! The ENTIRE flight I felt like I was sitting on top of a unbalanced washing machine. And then, about a half hour into the flight they finally begin the drink service. Luckily, they started at my row because after they poured my drink (and the asshole next to me's drink) the turbulence begins. The turbulence that is so bad (and is projected to last the remainder of the flight) that they decide to cancel the drink service. At least I convinced the steward to give me may drink before he took the cart away (even though he had poured it, he wasn't going to give it to me because of the turbulence).

So for the next 45 minutes I sat there, vibrating and bouncing up and down, sweating to death and being poked in my fat side by the asshole next to me until the captain FINALLY announced we were descending into Reno. It wasn't until we finally started descending that the vibrating stopped. By then I was in such a shitty mood and felt like I had just had the crap beaten out of me that I was a complete bitch getting off the plane and pretty much pushed people out of my way to get off the plane.

So instead of getting home around 8:30 on Sunday evening, I got home around 11 and still felt like I was vibrating by the time I got home. Needless to say I used this as an excuse for why I came in late and barely did shit all day at work on Monday (post traumatic stress...I mean I was in a serious security breach in the airport and then my plane almost crashed!). I still don't quite feel right.


Was that a good enough excuse for not posted in so long? Or should I have just stuck with something like my dog ate my computer?

Just saying hi

Last night I got the following text message:

U off work yet?

Wanna guess who it was from?

Come on, take a guess....



Did you guess my old friend...or...my old "friend" (with benefits).

Completely confused, and not entirely believing that the message was meant for me, I responded "Did you mean to send that message to me?"

Him: "Yes"

Me: "What's up?"

Him: "What r u up to?"

Me: "In Spokane for work, then Seattle for the weekend"

Me: "Why"

Him: "Just saying hi"
(which is code for 'wanna fuck?')

Me: I'll call you next week"

Him: Cool


Like I said before...I started something I'm not sure I should have.

But I could use some action...some hot action...or well ANY action.

Like they say, "Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good."

I forgot to mention...

That I am out of town all week for work and don't really have the best access to the internet (except a crappy ass computer in the 'business center'(i.e. room smaller than my closet with 2 computers in it)). Plus I am busy drinking and smoozing clients so I won't be posting much until Monday.