At my work, on occasion, we have to use our local competitor because they offer a few services that we do not, that unfortunately we have not started offering yet. So yesterday I had to go to their office to ... umm...'request some services" (I'm trying to be general, as to not give away too much about where I work, although I'm sure I've probably already mentioned details, but oh well...). I don't like our competitor. For the obvious reasons that they are, well, my company's primary local competition. But mainly because the people that work for this company suck-ass. They are rude, they are inconsiderate and they are just plain assholes. And I realize that I work for the competition, but to them, I should be another customer. I bring them work, we pay them money. I am a customer. But they treat me like shit. Which isn't surprising, because they treat all of the customers this way. Which (to get in a little bragging) is why many of their customers start using us. Anywho...I went to their office and when I turned in to their driveway, smack dab in the middle of their driveway, was a road-kill skunk. Their entire parking area smelled skunkish and they had roadkill in their driveway!
Now the point of my post. I found this incredibly satisfying. I hate them, and I LOVED the fact that they had a nasty road-kill skunk stinking up their parking lot and that even though it was 4 in the afternoon, no-one had take the effort to remove it, or even push it to the side. So every one of their customers had to drive over it, and smell it, while visiting their office. So gross...but so satisfying. I never said I wasn't a little sick and twisted.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
A glimpse into my mind...
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The Bachelorette Party
Can you think of anything better than being greeted by a giant plastic pecker? I sure can't! And by the way, apparently my digital camera sucks ass and takes blurry pictures half the time.
First we went to dinner and on our way back to our room to change for Round 2 of the evening we came across this guy who (quite on his own accord) volunteered to be our stripper for the evening. Which was good because budget didn't quite allow us to spend $200 for an hour with a stripper...I'm sorry, and maybe this is just me, but if I'm spending $200.00 for an hour with a half naked man, I better get more out of the situation that a little looky-looky. But like I said, that's just me.
Getting the party girl dressed for Round 2...like I said, we were going for a burlesque them (gone haywire) so she had to wear a corset for the evening. As a side note, seriously considering buying one because HELLO..LOOK AT THE GIRLS! I even had a hard time not checking out her boobs all night.
In situations like this, I find it's best not to ask questions. You just find our later on you didn't want to know the answer..
Umm, again, best not to ask. BUUUUTTTT, you do need to take note..see that girl in the black..this may be the only photographic evidence of her ever dancing. She was such a good sport (although after a few drinks the fact that she hates to dance became somewhat irrelevant).
Desperate situations call for desperate measures...when you can't afford a stripper, give the woman of the hour a lap dance yourself. Or let one of the other girls do it!
Yeah, I have no idea...but they were fun, they were Canadians. From my experience, Canadians are always a good time, and they know how to drink. And yes he is swiping a credit card (and American Express which is even funnier because they are Canadian..ok, maybe only I found that funny) through her cleavage. 
Holy aftermath (aka the next morning)
And, remember how I said there's nothing better than being greeted with a giant plastic pecker...well try waking up to one. My view from the floor where I spend the evening.
So there it is, what I spent last Saturday night (well into Sunday morning...) doing.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Help me out here.
Ok, so when your own blog starts writing you letters telling you that you don't blog often enough, it's probably a sign you need to blog more often.
I promise I'll have an actual post (not just an "I'm sorry, I'm a horrible blogger, post). But now I am too tired to write anything except this.
I get it. I haven't been a good blogger. It's not because stuff isn't going on. Actually there are a lot things going on. But not stuff that I necessarily feel comfortable talking about on my blog. So because my mind has been tied up elsewhere, I've been a loss of what else to blog about.
Soooooo....here we go. From my dedicated readers who keep checking back here day after day, with no new, inspirational words from me (because I know how inspiration my writing is!), I ask you for some ideas. My plan is to give my blog a little more structure, at least for a little while, until I get my writin' mojo back. So here is my challenge for you all:
I want ideas from you all for ideas for me to write about. I may not actually write about all the things suggested, but feel free to suggest anything. Who knows what I might share with you if the right questions are asked. So ask away my loyal readers...ask away..
Monday, July 21, 2008
Dear Ginger
I don't understand. You used to visit so often. But now, it seems like I am nothing more then an after thought to you. You toss me a few meaningless words and then leave me here, alone, in the dark for days or weeks at a time. You only visit me when you need me. This relationship is so one sided. I feel like you never think about my feelings. I have feelings to though, and at night when you don't come to visit I cry.
I realize it's hard to find time to visit me, when your always busy with Lovermuffin. While I do realize sex is important I'm sad that you no longer call upon me to discuss the events of your life. I had to find out you were still seeing Lovermuffin from Shannon, and even she waited this long to tell me. I even had to find out from Shannon what you did on your birthday. I had to hear it from her how you had two deserts and copious amount so food. I had to hear from her about going to Target and buying more shoes. YOU CAN BUY MORE SHOES BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN TALK TO ME.
My feelings are hurt Ginger. I would say we need a break but I think you already decided that. Maybe your just not into me that more. Did I gain weight? Am I not pretty enough anymore? Do I need a spiffy new color or design to make you miss me?
I miss you Ginger.
Sincerely,
Your blog
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
The most painful moment of my life.
I have now discovered the most painful thing that could ever possibly happen...
Think you know what it is...
Seriously, you can't EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE the pain I am feeling right now...
Because I am a jackass and somehow managed to get a paper cut RIGHT where my fingernail meets my finger, you know, that little crevice where the nail meets the skin...imagine having a paper cut ALL the way across that location. It fucking hurts!
Do you think I can file for workman's comp since it happened at work? (for those of you on a high horse about the abuse of workman's comp...I AM JUST KIDDING!).
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Obviously, it is the day before a 3 day weekend.
I mean really, that last post? WoW, that's what I'm doing right now! That is between writing out my list of stuff I need for my camping trip, gossiping with co-workers and snacking in the break room. I think I answered the phone once this morning...maybe, it rang once, I can't quite remember if I answered it or someone else did?
On this note, I am leaving to go camping this afternoon so stop readying my blog and, as the Simpson's said (paraphrased of course because I don't remember the exact quote), "Go enjoy your country's independence by blowing up a small part of it!"
Do you ever?
Run your hand across your chin and feel one of those stiff little black chin hairs? And then, for the rest of the day, you can't force yourself not to keep touching it? Because all you want to do it pluck it, but you are at work, with no tweezers...and your car tweezers have gone MIA...so you just keep touching it to make sure it's still there?
Just making sure I'm not the only one...
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Since when did Corporate America get to decide if I should or shouldn't be eating those donuts?
The other day on my way to work I was (for once) running a little early, and I was hungry, so instead of going and getting something healthy to eat, I decided to go get Krispy Kreme donuts for me for my work. I pull up to my local Krispy Kreme and pull in to the drive through. I pull up to the speaker to place my order and look up to notice the menu is missing. Well shit! How am I going to order if I don't know what to order? I sit there waiting for the magical donut fairy on the other end to ask me what I want. As I'm sitting there, I start thinking to myself: Mmmm, those buttery yummy donuts will taste so good. I wonder how many I can eat before I get to work. I wonder if I should even bother bringing any into my work. But I can't buy a dozen for myself. Well, ok, I COULD. But I shouldn't. Gosh, this is taking a long time. They must be busy. I wonder where their menu is. It's probably got vandalized and is out getting repaired or something. Mmmm, donuts. Geesh, ok, this really is taking a long time." Finally I speak up, "Hello? Hello?" Ugg, by this point I am no longer early so I decide that I don't really need the donuts and pull forward to drive out of the drive-thru.
And it's also not until I pull up and drive past the pick-up window that I see this sign: " Sorry for the inconvenience but this Krispy Kreme location has closed." Hmmm, I guess the missing menu makes a little more sense now. All in all, I probably sat there for like 5 minutes. And when I mentioned this episode to some friends, they were like, 'duh, it's been closed for like a month!"
I wonder how many other people have done this? I wonder if they ever considered putting the stupid fucking sign on the speaker where you place your order?
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Ok, seriously, just one more thing
Do you ever learn something, that isn't really THAT big of a deal, or really important in any way whatsoever, but it just kind of blows your mind and you can't stop going 'OMG, I can't believe that"?
I'm not gonna reveal what it is (to drive you all a little crazy thinking about what it MIGHT be), but this happened to me last night. And I'll give you a small hint: it's amazing how small of a world it is, and you never know who is gonna end up knowing who.
Kind of a big thing. Maybe. I think. I don't know. I am pretty sure it is though.
There has been an interesting development on the Memphis front. So I realize I don't talk about him as much as ya'll would like, but it's because I'm not entirely sure what to talk about. But I'll try. This is all new to me, and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it or if I really even need (or want) to do anything more than I am.
Memphis and I see each other 1-2 times a week. We really don't do anything except...well...each other. And talk. We talk a lot. We have dinner sometimes, we don't others. Not exactly what I would call a relationship, but on that note, it's actually the exact kind of relationship I want right now. To spend the time I want/can with someone who excites me and entices me, physically and mentally. I don't want the humdrum of every day life with someone, I don't want to wash his clothes, or deal with his bad moods. I have enough dirty laundry on my own! At least not yet. Up until very recently I wasn't even sure I wanted him to sleep over. I've always slept by myself, and on the few occasions I sleep with someone else in the same room, let alone the same bed, I don't sleep well. But a few weeks ago, he came over on a Saturday night. This is the only night that we CAN really spend together because Sunday morning is the only morning that neither of us has to work (he works Tues-Sat, I work Mon-Fri). Back on track here, he came over a few weeks ago on a Saturday night. We did what we do (each other) and we spent a few hours talking and cuddling, then, well, we did what we do again, and then we laid there in each other's arms (ahhhh, I know) and fell asleep. A little while later I woke up randomly and was sneaking out of bed to turn off some lights I had left on, assuming that maybe he would just stay the night, but when I got back in bed he woke up and said he had to go. This has honestly been the only night I was disappointed he left. I was really looking forward to him sleeping over. Not really sure why, like I said, I don't sleep all that well when someone else is in my bed, but something about taking that next step of staying the whole night was something that would have been a perfect ending to that night. But nope, he went home. Which was fine, because it meant I actually got a decent nights sleep.
Fast forward to this weekend. We haven't seen each other all that much because I've been on vacation, he's been spending his weekends out of town kayaking and his weeks staying in the town he works in (he works about 45 minutes from where we live and to save money on gas from commuting, he's been crashing at his dad's house during the weeks). Come Saturday, we hadn't talked (texted...is really mostly all we do when we are apart) since the prior Sunday. It was partially because I was busy, and partially because I was half seeing if he would touch bases with me, since it is almost always me getting in touch with him to hang out. Come Saturday night I went to the Rodeo with a friend and shortly after getting there I got a text message from him asking if I was busy...I wrote back saying I was but I might be up for a late night booty call if he was. He was...so around midnight he came over. We stayed up until about 3am, when we drifted off to sleep. Around 5 I woke up and he was still there. I snuck out of bed to close the blinds and totally expected him to roll over and say he had to go, but instead when I crawled back in bed he just wrapped his arms around me, mumbled something about getting to play with a certain part of my anatomy that he likes very much all morning and then go boating at the kayak park, then drifted off to sleep again. I honestly laid there for probably 45 minutes thinking to myself "he's not really gonna stay the night, is he? He's gonna really wake up any moment and leave...any minute...nope, not yet...maybe I should go to sleep?"I finally fell back asleep for a few hours, rolled over, woke him up for a little morning delite, then let him go play with his kayaks for the rest of the day while I went back to sleep. So there it is, he stayed the night. It's kind of a big thing. But I'm not really sure what exactly it means. And I'm not about to ask him, because I kind of like things exactly as they are.
