Memories...

Memphis is moving. I haven't been talking about him much because I am navigating the unknown here. I've never had a serious boyfriend, I've never been in love. And while neither of those things are true with Memphis, I've also never felt the way I do about him, had the kind of connection I have with him, with anyone else. When I first went looking for someone to break my dry spell, I never thought I would find someone that I really liked. But I did. Memphis and I have never taken things beyond a casual relationship but there is defiantly something there. It's just...well...I'm not sure, I've never been here before, but it is one hell of a lot of passion and friendship.

Back to where I started. He's moving. He's been talking about moving for close to 2 months now, seriously for about a month. Then he wavered and thought about staying around for a while but it's for sure now. In less than a month, he will be headed back across the country, back to the town he went to high school in, back to the town his brother lives in, back to the place he calls 'the closest thing I've know to home as anything'. He was honest from the start, he was a wanderer. He moves where the wind takes him, whenever it blows. It's part of what I found attractive in him, all the adventures he's had, all the places he's been and the people he knows. Of course that doesn't make it any less hard that he's leaving.

He has helped me grow as a person more than I could ever imagined someone could, in such a short period of time. He helped (unknowingly) restore a faith in me, in myself, that I had lost over the years of navigating this thing that has become my life. And I've felt things for him I've never felt for anybody else before. Ever since he first mentioned he might move, I've had this unquenchable desire to record these moments in time with him. The really cute ones, the really sweet ones, the REALLY hot ones. There is this one memory, from the other night, that was so unbelievable hot I just keep replaying it over and over in my head. But how do you do that? Can you even do that? I have this moments, these glimpses of time we've spent together that I want to hold on to. Everyone has memories, they are hidden in the recesses of our mind until we least expect them to surface, but they do. At the sight or smell of something, or upon hearing an old song, they come flooding back. I've never felt the desire to want to remember my memories before. But these moments, these moments with him, I keep playing over and over in my head, hoping they will never go away.