Thought I would elaborate on this subject a bit...I actually wrote most of this post 2 days ago but forgot I hadn't posted it so I made some changes and this is what I came up with...
I got a comment from one of my secret blog readers (or new blog reader or random person who happened to stumble across my blog, possibly while searching the Internet for, well I don't know because I don't think I am even a bloop on Google's radar). Anywho...It got me thinking.
I've always been under the impression that having a friend with benefits is relatively common in today's day and age. Is this true? Is it just my generation (the 25ish year olds, I have no idea what our generation label is) where this is a common occurrence? Or is it really that I am the odd one out that I had a relationship, a trusting, open relationship (I won't call it a friendship because like I said before , I know very little about this person) that was completely about sex?
Admittedly, at one point in time I wanted to date this person (and I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual). I knew through mutual acquaintances and because I have grown up with this person that all in all, he was a decent guy. He may come off as many things, but when it got down to the nitty gritty he was a kind hearted, decent guy. However, when it came down to it, we had nothing in common except we wanted to spend some time rolling around in they hay with each other. We tried the whole talking thing, it never worked. We tried the dating thing, it didn't work either. We tried the whole sex thing, it worked. So we stuck with that. We never loved each other (well, I shouldn't speak for both of us because who couldn't love me...but seriously, I'm pretty sure that sentiment was never shared between us). We probably wouldn't even like each other if it weren't for the fact that we slept together for years.
Yes, I said years. I've had one night stands and I've had a few almost relationships, but this went on for a few years. He was someone that I trusted and felt comfortable with. Like I said, we tried the dating thing, for a few weeks the summer before we started college. It never went anywhere and I assumed the whole thing was over and done with until I walked in to my very first class, my very first day of college and saw this person sitting there. he turned around, almost like he was expecting me to walk it, and grinned at me...this silly, stupid grin that he had and all I thought to myself was "Shit, I thought this was over." But it wasn't. One night I got out of a class and had a voice mail asking me if I wanted to come over and study...I did actually bring my books but no studying ever went on. :) The thought of that night makes me smile but I'm keeping the details to myself. Needless to say, after that night I would 'study' with him whenever I felt I needed to 'study'. Eventually I stopped bringing my books! This kept going on, although after our class was over we dropped the whole 'studying' thing because by that time all of his roommates and all of my friends knew that no studying ever went on.
Unlike Misguided Mommy it was never a game for me. It wasn't about the chase, it wasn't about the challenge. It was just about having someone to have a good time with while I waited around for Mr. Right to show up...
...I'm still waiting.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Friends with Benefits
Recipe Time
Since I just finished eating my left over breakfast from yesterday for lunch, I figured I would share the recipe. Warning: my recipes rarely include specifics like 1/2 cup milk, 3/4 tbsp salt...you are more likely to find phrases like "season to your liking" or "add enough flour to get the right consistency" so if you are one of those people who NEEDS specifics, I would look elsewhere for your cooking advise.
I like them because they are a little more substantial than hash browns and because, seriously, who doesn't like fried potatoes with sour cream?
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Memorable moments.
No-one ever tells you how easy it is to get stuck in a rut when you become an adult. Once you start getting tied down with jobs and bills and houses and responsibilities, it takes an incredible amount of energy to make yourself do something fun.
The me of 3 years ago went out of town 2-3 weekends a month, spent almost every weekend in the summer at the lake, went hiking, snowshoeing, to yoga classes, out to breakfast, to the movies or the museum.
The me of now would rather spend most weekends laying on the couch watching movies.
The shift was gradual. It started with me graduating from college; with me starting my 'real' job, that left me too tired and with no time to do those things that I used to love to do...that I still love to do. Last night I found myself thinking that it would be too much work to put my flip flops on, drive 30 minutes and sit on some grass listening to music. Seriously, how hard does that sound? But for a moment, my mind just said "nope, not gonna do it." That's the danger of a rut, you have to overpower your own thoughts, you have to say, 'nope, I am going to get my ass off the couch and go have a good time! Damn it!" I did get off my ass and it was a blast. Good friends, good music, good food and good beer. It is a good night.
Having nights like that inspire me to keep on making the effort to do things out of the norm, to take the road less traveled. The memorable moments in life are hard to find, but their worth it when you do.
Trouble is to close for comfort.
This Post has been rated: R by the writer
Editor's note: If you don't want to hear about my sex life (or past sex life), I would just scroll over this blog.
Last night I found myself pondering something. Pondering something that I knew would just cause me trouble in the end. Pondering something that would probably leaving me feeling satisfied at the end of the night, but I wasn't sure I wanted to head down that road again. I got home late at night and was looking for something (or someone to be exact) to occupy my time. For quite some time I have been infatuated with a certain dog park guy. I am still infatuated with him but am starting to wonder if he feels the same way. I know, that all I really need to do is ask him, but honestly, the opportunity has not arisen lately, otherwise I would have an answer to my question. However, my wandering thoughts last night had nothing to do with him. They had to do with someone else, someone comfortable and someone who hasn't been in my life for quite a few years.
For many years I had a fuck buddy, a booty call, a friend with benefits. It was someone I had gone to school with for years and years and years. Over the years we had always had a mild flirtation (or at times, a not so mild flirtation). However, as the years went on, as we got older and started becoming the adults we are today, we realized that we had nothing in common. If fact, to this day, the only thing that we have in common is that we like to sleep together. For about 2 years, we relished in the fact that all we had in common was that we liked to sleep with each other. I don't know his birthday, I don't know what his middle name is, I don't know what kind of music he listens to. And I am perfectly fine not knowing those things. This worked for us. A late night visit after a date gone bad, an early morning wake up call, a study break (well, let's be honest, no studying ever went on). Mind you, the sex was never great. But it was good. And it was consistent, and satisfying. There's something to be said for consistency. Last night I found my thoughts wandering towards this consistency. Except for the occasional awkward siting at a bar, this person has not been in my thoughts, or my life for a few years, until by accident, I discovered that he bought a house down the street from where I live. Since then I have secretly always hoped I would run into him. Not because I wanted to start things up again, but no matter what, even after all this time, seeing him, and seeing how he acts towards me, always leaves me with a boosted ego and leaves me feeling like a powerful, sexy person. Last night was different though...I didn't just want to run into him.
To bad he was out of town.
Porn and Cooking Magzines
As I sat there reading the newest issue of Gourmet magazine this morning, I found my heart racing just a bit, I found myself getting a little hot and bothered, and I found myself drooling and licking my lips. So much better than watching porn!
Do you think there is something wrong that I get that excited looking at pictures of food? Probaby, but oh well!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Friends & Money
When it comes to friends, they are your confidants, the people you trust with your deepest, darkest and sometimes dirtiest secrets. You trust them to hold onto pieces of information about you that you don't even trust your family with. However, when it comes to friends and money, why is it that it is always a touchy subject? Is it just that when you add the issue of money into any relationship it is a sticky situation or it just with friends?
By the way, I should totally be working right now.
Back to the subject. Currently I am in the situation where a friend owes me money. Now to clarify the situation, she doesn't own my money in the "I lent her $100.00 and she hasn't paid me back" way but she owes me money in the "I paid for something up front that we were both going to use that I would not have gotten except for the fact that she said she would pay for it and now I am out $100.00 because she hasn't offered to give me the money for it." How do you go about asking your friends for money in a situation like this? It's not a straight forward "you owe me money" situation, if that were it I would just ask for the money but it is more something I paid for, that we both used, but that I would not have gotten except she offered to pay for it. It was a few weeks ago and she hasn't made an effort to say she is going to give me money for it. Do I just suck it up and hope she offers to pay? Do I politely say 'hey by the way I thought you said you were going to pay for that thing...where's my money?"
What to do? What to do?
I should probably mention...
...that I have a bit of a shoe addition. At least they are cheap shoes, however at any cost, when you own as many as I do it's not a cheap habit.
