So unprofessional.

I've never been the kind of person who cries a lot. By the way, I am supposed to be preparing right now for the following things at work tomorrow: interviewing more people because the last receptionist that we hired lasted 3 weeks (although she only actually worked 4 days and 2 hours), my mid-year review and reviewing one of my employees (let me rephrase, the one person I currently supervise). Instead I am blogging...

Anyways, back to my random train of thought...while preparing to review someone else it got me thinking to my reviews. In my first year, I had a review at 3 months (preliminary to make sure I did well enough to get past the 'probation period' and so I could ask for more money because I started for a lot less than I wanted), a review at 6 months (again, for a possible salary increase because I started at a lot less than I wanted) and an annual review (my actual review, although the others were actual reviews as well, but most people don't get reviews at 3 and 6 months). In every single one of my reviews, I cried at some point. I have no explanation for why I cried. It had no hidden purpose (like making my boss feel guilty or because I was so unhappy or so elated with joy I felt I needed tears to express my feelings). It's like my boss and I start talking about my job/my performance and the water works just turn on (just FYI, my reviews have always been favorable, with room for improvement, accompanied by salary increases). I try to stop them but then I just sit there because when I am about to cry all I do is stop talking because once I start talking the tears start flowing. So I start talking because I can't sit there like a dumb ass and the tears start flowing. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? I have no idea why I do this and it makes me feel like a hack and that everything coming out of my mouth is fooey. My boss always said it isn't a big deal (benefit of having a female boss perhaps?) but I still feel totally unprofessional and wish I could stop it. The last time I made it ALL the way to the last portion where we talk about what direction I want to take in the next year and boom, on came the waterworks even though I knew what I wanted. AUUUGGGGG! It is so aggravating that this happens!

As I said, I am not a crier. I generally only cry over the deaths of loved ones (people and pets, probably more so pets...does that make me a bad person that I cry more over the death of my pets than I do over the death of loved ones?) I also have cried when I really hurt myself (like the other night when I slammed my foot into my bed, I collapsed on the floor in a flurry of cuss words and then cried just a little bit...it REALLY hurt) or during some movies. But seriously, I can't believe I do this because it is totally not like me...but i guess it is probably better than excusing myself from a meeting concerning my performance and locking myself in the bathroom for more than an hour and then pretending like the meeting never happened. Like say, some people might do.

Random Facts of the Day...

10 people die every week in the U.S. in "furniture related" fires.

Just for shit's and giggles...

You're asking yourself what is this? Well my answer to you is that it is crab poop, or sand, or both. Whatever way you look at it this little crab spends his time burrowing little holes in the sand and the way he gets rids of the sand is by eating it (thus pooping it) in these nice little balls all over the Australian beach. Here is a prettier picture of the beach these were found on...somewhere in Northern Australia...

By the way, my DELETE button on my keyboard no longer works which is a royal pain in the ass. Probably from when I spilled my iced vanilla latte on it a few weeks ago (and obviously never cleaned it)...

BTW, I had to fire someone again

Yup, I had to fired someone over the phone today. It wasn't as hard as the first time and really, would expect to keep your job if you had worked 4.5 of the 3 weeks you had been employed at a company?

Thank god for Julia!

I am addicted to Hell's Kitchen. I have loved it from the very first season. All I have to say after tonight's episode is THANK GOD FOR JULIA. She may just be a lowly short order cook who doesn't know what a creme brulee is but she knows that you can't serve food you have taken from the trash to a customer! WHO THINKS, EVEN IN THE CRAZIEST OF MOMENTS, THAT IT IS OK TO TAKE FOOD OUT OF THE TRASH AND SERVE IT?!?

Road Trips, White Water Rafting and the Elusive Marie Callender's

I love road trips. I always have because they give you time to think or time to just completely zone out of your life and revisit your CD collection (mine is vast). Wed. I left for a trip to go white water rafting on the Kings River (east of Fresno in the Sequoia and Sierra National Forests). I was meeting my sister there. Here is my trip...

Wed. June 13, 2007
10am - Last night I told my sister I would leave around 10. Since I fell asleep on the couch last night, I still have to take a shower, pack and get my oil changed. Probably not going to leave anytime soon so I call my sister. Like always, she is running late as well so we are right on track. I tell my sister I am leaving at noon. If I left now, I would get to my destination around 5pm.

12pm - Still packing, need to drop off brownies I made on a whim last night to Shannon and get my oil changed. I can do this all by 1 right?

2pm - Finally on the road, got my oil changed, dropped brownies off for Shannon and got my coffee. Then this jackass decides to drive exactly the speed limit in front of me all the way out of town...you know how when you are running late everything pisses you off....all I wanted to do was start my vacation and I was already 4 hours late and this jackass decides it is his personal vendetta to NOT left me pass him all the way from the freeway entrance by my house to Gold Ranch where I got off to fill up my tank.

5pm - Still driving. So I wasn't really digging the whole road trip aspect of my trip on the way down. All I wanted to do was pass all the brush fires along the freeways, get out of the 110 degree weather and go rafting. But damn it, still driving.

7pm- Yup, you guessed it, STILL DRIVING...At this point, if I had left when I last told my sister I was leaving, I would be to our destination. I never called my sister to tell her I left at 2 instead of 12, and by this time she was probably already there which means her cell phone no longer came in. I just kept driving.

8:15pm - Still driving, but almost there. So close I almost want to get out and run there...except it is 110 degrees out and, well I am lazy and it really still is another 20 miles. My phone rings and I am surprised to find it is my sister. Looks like she got started a little late and is about 10 miles in front of me...it's really is amazing how horrible our running late gene is but at least when we go on vacations together we get places at the same time because we are both running later than planned (although it didn't really matter except the last 2 hours of the drive is around a nasty curvy road that I dread driving around in the dark).

Sick of seeing pictures of me driving? Now you are starting to understand how long this day was for me. I was so exciting about BEING there that every minute of the drive was torture!

8:45pm - Finally at the camp for Zephyr Whitewater Expeditions. I've never been rafting with any other company but every experience I have had with them has been fantastic. They raft various rivers in California, have great food and a great staff. I am sure they are pricier than the others but it's worth every dime. My sis and I unload and get our tent set up. We are the only people there besides the guides. By they way, there are no pictures of the hotty guides because they were all married or women and I really don't need pictures of tan buff women to compare the following pictures of me to...

June 14, 2007 (and June 15, 2007)

7:30am - we find out that it is just my sis and I and 1 family of 4 (for the math-challenged people, that is 6 people going on the trip that day). I was a little concerned it would be awkward but in retrospect I would MUCH rather go with a smaller group, the guides are a lot more relaxed and easy going with smaller groups (they don't have to worry about the stupid people doing stupid things if they have less of them to worry about).

We got going around 9am, here are some pictures from our day. Now I know there are no exciting raging rapid pictures. I couldn't exactly have my camera out during those times. I did pay an outrageous amount of money for a picture they took during one of the big rapids but I have to wait for them to mail it to me. I will post that when I get it, but for now...

My sister floating to her untimely demise...or not...

Possibly the dorkiest picture ever taken of me, and I swear I am not that fat in person. This is an awful picture of me but my loyal blog readers get to see it because it is one of the few pictures I have of me on the trip.

Somehow my sister seems to pull this look off better than I but she still looks dorky so I have to post this to counteract the dorkiness of my picture above.

Our lunch (with another guide) making it's way down the river...

My sis and I at our lunch break. This was a place called "Forever Eddy". For you river virgins, an eddy is area of usually calm water behind or downstream of an obstruction in the main current, where water flows counter to that of the main current. In this case, it is caused by a huge pool off to the side of the main flow of the river. It has caused a huge whirlpool that you can just float round and round in circles.

The river...

More of the river...like I said, all the crazy rapids (keeping in mind that this river is classed a 3 or 3+ which means it really is a beginner-moderate river) I was busy paddling and getting soaked so I couldn't take pictures.

After rafting on Thursday and Friday, we relocated 2 miles up the road to Cabin 4 1/2. This is an old forest ranger cabin that they how rent out. My home away from home, it is so peaceful here and right across from the river. That's my sis standing in front.

At our little beach across from the cabin. We spent our day swimming, sunbathing and waving hello to rafters.

At the oldest bridge on the Kings River. And no comments about the bandanna...I hadn't washed my hair in 4 days or brushed it in 2 days.

My sis and I. We are such dorks!

One last shot of the river from the bridge and a joke for you. You probably have to understand the river guide lifestyle a little bit to get this one but I will still try: What is the difference between and male river guide and a treasury bond?

I took this picture right before I left. After this is was a long drive home...

This is the only picture I took of my drive home. I figured you guys had enough on my drive there. A note for those of you looking for the Marie Callender's in Fresno on Shaw Ave. IT IS ON THE CORNER OF SHAW AND MARTY. I spent ~45 minutes looking for Marie Callender's because all I wanted for dinner before I hit the road again for the rest of my drive home was cornbread and a slice of coconut cream pie. I drive up and down Shaw only to finally give up and go to El Pollo Loco. Guess what, as I headed back to the freeway, ONE BLOCK UP FROM EL POLLO LOCO, LO AND BEHOLD WAS THE DAMN M.C. By then I was stuffed and pissed! Note to the owners of the Marie Callender's on Shaw Ave. in Fresno...YOU NEED A BETTER SIGN!

In addition to my pictures and my memories, I have these WONDERFUL mosquito bites ALL over my arms to remember my trip by!

By the way, the answer to the joke is that with age, one of them matures and starts earning money and the other doesn't. Take a guess which one!

The end!

Out of my mind...

Oh wait, I meant to say out of the...the what, office, home, blog world...ok, I am staying with out of my mind. My mind and I are officially going on vacation until Sunday June 17. If you need immediate assistance, too bad. If you leave a message I will probably read it when I return.

For those of you interested, I am going white water rafting on the Kings River. I hope to have pictures when I return (If I remember to bring my camera...ok, it's in my purse, now I just have to remember to bring my purse...)