Ending Relationships. Ending Friendships.

Disclaimer: Now let me make it clear to any of my friends reading this, I have no intention of 'breaking up' with any of you. This is just a random thought that I felt the need to share with the world.

I'm at a weird place with one of my friends now. Because of this, I have spent the last 48 hours pretty consistently thinking about friends and relationships (instead of the normal gibberish that fills my head which pretty much consists of alternating thoughts of sex, food, work, and day dreams of places I can't travel to).

I am wondering, does having sex with someone make the difference in being able to end a relationship, to walk away when you decide that the pros out weight the cons? Why is it socially acceptable to end a romantic relationship but when it comes to ending friendships, why is looked upon as giving up or being a horrible person? People end romantic relationships everyday because of incompatibilities between one partner and the other; they end relationships with people whom they share houses with, they share finances with, they share kids with. Yet ending a friendship, with a person whom you generally share none of those things with, is nowhere near as acceptable as ending a marriage.

Like I said, just a random thought.

Attack of the killer squirrels...

I am trying to plan a trip to Southern California later in the summer and it reminded me of a story.

I was a senior in high school and I was driving to San Diego to visit my grandparents. I had picked up lunch earlier that day because I planned on stopping somewhere and having a picnic lunch. I decided to stop at Mono Lake park. I grabbed my lunch, a blanket and a book. I headed for the grassy park area. I laid down the blanket and set my lunch down. Before I even sat down I noticed the squirrels all over the park had started heading my direction. I sat down and pulled out my sandwich. The squirrels were getting closer. I opened my sandwich. By this time there were probably about 15 squirrels all around the edge of my blanket. I tried shooing them away. I think that just spread the scent of my sandwich because, before I knew what was happening, almost the entire edge of my blanket was lined with squirrels. They wouldn't come on the blanket, they just sat right on the edge. I had no idea what to do but I started freaking out, picturing my dead body covered in squirrels with pieces of the sandwich thrown about. There were so many of them! I finally decided the only way out was to try throwing my sandwich away from my blanket and then running for the car... I proceeded to throw bits and pieces of crust in all directions to try and lure the squirrels away. No luck, the squirrels held their posts. I finally decided to try throwing the entire sandwich away from me...the squirrels ran after it. I grabbed the blanket, the book and I ran.

Do you think the squirrels there are used to being feed?

I miss my friend.

A year ago a friend of mine moved away to be with her fiance while he went to school. First of all, I can't believe it has been a year already but secondly, I miss her. She was a great friend to just hang out with, to have a great conversation with or to go out with. In fact, she has really been the only friend of mine that has enjoyed just going out to a bar to have fun. To dance and drink and talk and giggle and people watch with. We have always been very much on the same page when we go out, of course it's fun to look at guys and flirt with them, but we are really out just have fun.

She was in town this weekend and we went out dancing and drinking and giggling and people watching. I realized how much I miss this part of our friendship. Of course it is great that she moved to a town where I now really enjoy visiting, it gives me another excuse to travel somewhere, but there was always something about our nights out that is just fun. The dancing at the front of the stage, singing along with the cover band, until our feet hurt so much we end up walking to our car barefoot and then end up eating Denny's at 4 am kind of fun.

Just a little sappy I miss my friend moment brought to you Ginger's "That kind of girl..." blog.

I hope I'm never this kind of girl...

Because I have spent like 99.999999% of my life single, I have to admit that I feel like I value my friendships more than many of my girlfriends do. Instead of having someone to come home to and tell my worries to, my exciting news to, my daily office drama to, I come home to my sink full of dirty dishes and 4 nights a week, my dog. While my dog lets me have control over the t.v., she never really provides the feedback I sometimes want. Because of that, my friends have always filled that position. They have been the ones I call (or email or IM) with exciting news or sad news or drama. When I Friday night rolls around, I go to call my friends. When, really whenever I feel like talking or gossiping I turn to my friends. Whenever I feel like not being alone, even it just means getting frozen yogurt or watching t.v., I turn to my friends.

Over time, I've learned that many of my girlfriends (not all, but 2 imparticular) value their relationships with their bf's/fiance's/husband's more than their friendships with their girlfriends; friends are more an accessory relationship that they wear only on the right occasion, under the right circumstances. Friends are not a staple item in their wardrobe of relationships. While I can't completely understand, and I will fully admit that there is probably some jealously involved, I have to admit that I hope I never become one of those people that would wear my friends like a funky bracelet or a cool, but completely uncomfortable, pair of shoes. I never want to be one of those people that just because they have found 'the one' they decide that their friendships are just for special occasions.

One of the things I have always found so interesting about the mentality of these type of people is that, when all of the sudden that funky bracelet is all the rage (i.e. they breakup with 'the one' and realize they have pretty much shut you out of their lives) they are the ones that get pissed off that you have a life, and frankly a life that doesn't involve them anymore. A few years back, when I was still in college, spring break was a time to look forward to. A time to get away from it all, relax, sit back and have fun. As I said, I have been single for like 99.99999% of my life but one of my girlfriends has almost always had a bf. For many, many years it was the same guy. Frankly, the guy was, as I describe him to people besides my friend, " a fucking abusive slime ball who couldn't man up and get on with his life". Did I just say that? It's true. He was a verbally abusive, former drug addict, alcoholic who worked a minimum wage job because he was a slacker who stole shit and then sold it on eBay. Needless to say I was ecstatic the day they finally broke up. Unfortunately for me, it happened to be a few weeks from spring break. A few weeks from a spring break that had already made plans for because my friend couldn't bare leaving her bf to go on a trip with her friend. So I made plans alone. However, when they broke up, she started making plans for spring break, for trips for us to go on and people for us to go visit. She never once stopped to ask me if I already had plans. She had just assumed that because, all of the sudden, because she was single, I was at her beckon call to do whatever she wanted to do for vacation. When I stopped her mid-sentence to tell her I already had plans for most of the break, but could meet her at a mutual friends house in Sac for a few days, she went silent. What else was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to change my plans around to suit her needs? Was I a horrible friend for saying "Actually, I already have plans but let's work with what I already have planned so we can hang out for a few days"? While she would always just deny being mad at my over this event, I always secretly wonder how pissed she was. By the way she acted I always suspected that saying I already had plans for spring break was tantamount to saying I had killed her cat, burned her house down and slept with her heart's desire. I never understood the anger she showed me that day. Was I really a horrible friend who wasn't standing by her friend who had just broken up with her bf? Or was it that she was pissed because I wasn't going to play her little relationship games with her, that I wasn't going to say how high when she told me to jump? How high should you jump to keep a friend, or a lover for that matter, happy? When should you say 'I'm not jumping anymore'?

This is what just happened to me.

So I am not what you would call a good neighbor. I have lived in my condo for almost 2 years and I don't know the name of any of my immediate neighbors. I know the names of 1 couple who live on the other side of the building from me. Most of my neighbors seem nice enough, I smile and say hi but that is about it. In the condo across the "hall" (the upstairs outdoor balcony) from me is a girl probably about the same age as me. She seems nice enough, has an annoying little dog that tried to eat my dog alive even though it is half the size of my dog and a cat who always says hi to me when i walk by. She is a little chubby but pulls it off because she is a funky kind of chick you would find hanging out in a tattoo shop. Her hair is black but she always has little strands of it in funky colors like blue and red and green and orange. Recently there has been a person staying at her house. I have to admit I have no idea if she is still there (I think I remember seeing her car yesterday but I could be wrong). I have no idea if this person is a friend, a lover (my last guess) or a roommate. Up until this evening I have only seen this mystery person from far away but she seemed like a tall, skinny dark haired women who was dressing like she was a 40 year old trying to act like she was 20.

This evening I am walking up from my parking space and head towards my stairs. I see the mystery guest heading up the stairs right in front of me. Since I pretty much follow her up the stairs when she turns to open her door I smile politely and say Hi. I continue to walk to my door and open it at the same time she is opening my neighbors door. Apparently my neighbors cat (I wish I knew her name because I am getting sick of typing 'my neighbor') flew out of her condo and into mine. I didn't even notice it and I was about to walk into my condo and I hear a distinctly man's voice say "that wasn't your cat right?". I completely expect to turn around and see a man standing at the door of my neighbor's condo with the mystery guest. I turn around and only see the mystery guest.

"Excuse me?" Is all i can mutter because I am in complete shock about what I just discovered but I pass it off as I didn't hear her (him?).

"I think the cat just ran in your apartment...you don't have a cat do you?" This time in a less distinctly manly voice, almost as if she (he?) was trying to disguise the fact that she (he?) just turned herself in.

"Ahhh, no. Hold on, let me get the cat." I go into my condo and get the cat who did, somehow fly by me into my condo.

"Here you go." I handed her (him?) the cat. At this time I get a better look at her (his?) face and yup, it was definitely a guy.

I scurry into my apartment, holding in my laughter. Now that may sound mean but trust me, I am not the kind of person to judge a person on how they decide to dress or act. I was just in complete and utter shock because I couldn't believe what I just discovered. It's always entertaining to me when you discover something like that about a person you barely know. It's a just a quick reminder that life is never what you expect it to be and that sometimes things and people aren't who you think they are. Goes back to the age old saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover."

My evening...

This is how my evening went...

6:30 pm
I'm driving home from work feeling like I got off early when really I got off at 6:30. It's sad that I think that is getting off early. Because I feel like I got off early, my alter-ego "Chef Ginger" decided to show her head.

7pm
I go to the grocery store and buy $50.00 worth of groceries even though I have a full fridge at home. I went there because I needed the following items: cream cheese and cherries (for cheesecake because I mentioned it to Shannon earlier and now I've been thinking about it all day), chicken and tomato sauce for chicken parmigiana. I also leave with 2 bottles of this fizzy apple wine that Shannon introduced me to and a whole crapload of other things I don't need.

7:30
I go home and do my dishes because I had a sink full of dishes from last nights disaster of a soup cooking event. I can't start cooking with a sink full of dishes. My long lost friend from Seattle calls and we start gossiping. Since I am doing something un-fun (dishes) and something fun (talking to my girlfriend) I decide to pour myself a glass of wine.

7:45
I make chicken parmigiana. While it's in the oven, I decide I should just cook my spaghetti squash now because the last time I bought one, I can't believe I am admitting this, it sat on top of my fridge for 4 months until I finally threw it out. It takes so long to cook so I figured if I cook it now, I can have it for dinner tomorrow night. I now have chicken and a squash in the oven, and another full glass of wine in my hand.

8:30
The chicken comes out of the oven. Meanwhile I am still on the phone with my girlfriend. I stand over my sink eating my dinner, talking on the phone and drinking another glass of wine.

9pm
The squash comes out. By now I've gotten off of the phone and decide that I still want cheesecake so I start making it.

9:15
Friend calls back, we talk for a little while longer. I finish off the bottle.

9:30
The cheesecake finally goes in the oven. I have no idea what took me a half hour to blend some cream cheese, sugar and eggs together. Maybe because i had to open the second bottle of wine.

9:35
I check the cheesecake because now all I can think about is cheesecake.

9:45
See 9:35 entry. Except this time I now have another glass of wine.

9:52
See 9:35 entry.

10:11
See 9:35 entry.

10:30pm
The cheesecake finally comes out of the oven. Except now i have to wait for it cool.

11pm
Oh yeah, I love cheesecake. MMMMMMMM.

11:10pm
Ok, maybe just one more small piece...

11:12
Damn it it, I now have an ENTIRE kitchen full of dirty dishes. Fuck me! I am drunk, full and can't go to bed with this many dishes in my kitchen (yes, they would be there until Sat. if i don't do them now). If I hadn't been drunk maybe i would have done the dishes while the cheesecake was in the oven, instead I sat around watching t.v.

11:30pm
Now I am drunk and full and I have a clean kitchen.

Totals for the evening
3- number of dishes cooked (remember I am single and live alone)
1.5 - bottles of wine drank by yours truely
15 - number of burns on my fingers, arms and (explain this one) stomach

Random Facts of the Day...

Just a few random facts to increase your random knowledge today...

A microwaved baseball will fly further than a frozen baseball.

An ostrich's eye is larger than it's brain.

Every second, collectively, Americans eat 100 pounds of chocolate.

Stay tuned for more random facts of knowledge.